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Source: 塔科, 炸玉米饼 钟, 贝尔
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25 REASONS WHY I OWE MY MOTHER


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .


"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.


"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .


"If 你 don't straighten up, I'm going to knock 你 into the middle of 下一个 week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.


" Because I 说 so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me 更多 LOGIC .


"If 你 fall out of that 摇摆, 秋千 and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.


"Make sure...
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MonaVie
Supports your body’s antioxidant and nutritional needs.





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MonaVie features a delicious blend of the Brazilian açai berry—one of nature’s 最佳, 返回页首 superfoods—and 18 other body-beneficial fruits. This Balance-Variety-Moderation approach to nutrition delivers powerful antioxidants and phytonutrients to help fight free radicals and maintain your body’s 总体, 整体 health.

Offers potent antioxidant protection against free radicals.
Features a wide array of nutrients for optimal health.
Delivers the antioxidant...
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posted by patrisha727
A typical American eats 28 pigs in his/her lifetime.

Americans eat 20.7 pounds of 糖果 per person annually. The Dutch eat three times as much.

Americans spend approximately $25 billion each 年 on beer.

Americans spent an estimated $267 billion dining out in 1993.

An etiquette writer of the 1840's advised, "Ladies may wipe their lips on the tablecloth, but not blow their noses on it."

Aunt Jemima pancake flour, invented in 1889, was the first ready-mix 食物 to be sold commercially.

Caffeine: there are 100 to 150 milligrams of caffeine in an eight-ounce cup of brewed coffee, 10 milligrams...
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Leslie Hall is so funny!
video
funny
随意
hilarious
leslie hall
craft talk
gem sweater
added by cookiewasted9
Source: me
posted by jessicamc26
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car 前锋, 期待 saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If 你 are hung like a horse, 你 don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
posted by KatiiCullen94
This is what i would say to my jacob, if i can even say he is mine.


How do i even start off, do i start off saying that i dont know how to start off,or do i pour my 心 out,that first word, i dont know anymore..Because with you, nothing is the way it seems, 或者 the way it was before. Everything changes even the way im supposed to write this, you've confused me.
OK,, i think is this part where i pour my 心 out right?? if not. im going to sound.. odd. but who cares now? not you. 你 wont even read this my love.
ok here i go, keep me from falling.
I meet 你 on a saturday, on the first saturday...
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from:sponge bob
wirtten by:sponge bob
吉他 by:spongeb
preformed by:sponge bob&patrick& squidward
featuring:Patrick
also featuring :squidward *sorta*
drums:patrick
singer:spongebob

lets gather around the campfire and sing the campfire song our c-a-mp-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song. and if 你 think that we cant sing it faster then your wrong but itll help if 你 just sing along
Bom Bom Bom
*sing it fast!*
C-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song,C-am-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song and if 你 think that we cant sing it faster then 你 wrong but itll help if 你 just sing along.
*even faster*C-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song,C-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song Patrick!
"SoNG!C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E..
"squdiward1good!"
Itll help!itll help!if 你 just sing along!OH YEAH!

THE END
"
posted by twilight0girl
link

Nathan:
Dear Marni,
I am so sorry.
Can 你 forgive me for this?

Rotti:
Not the debt doctor
With the hungry scalpel!
Here's my prognosis:
Will they live...?

Hench Girls:
Doubtful.

Luigi:
Your the 街, 街道 physician
carving flesh sculptures!

Pavi:
Paint your 屁股 like rembrandt!
Ha! 你 Like-a that?!

Rotti:
Better start praying when 你 see him coming.

Luigi:
cause tonight its curtains!

Luigi, Pavi and Rotti:
Youre the night surgeon!

Chorus:
Remember who 你 are.

Nathan:
I remember...

Genterns:
Remember what 你 did to Marni.

Chorus:
Remember who 你 are.

Nathan:
I remember...

Genterns:
Remember...
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added by camosolidsnake
Source: armoredd.com
added by Cliff040479
Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/77371316@N00/72816738/
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
posted by shutyourface
don't worry this 文章 is not about 羊 或者 bananas it is about a 更多 serious matter.

this is a 辩论 and i want everyone 阅读 this
写作 a 评论 about what 你 think is write 或者 wrong
ok?

so anyway

here i go


what came first

the egg

或者 the chicken?

thats my 辩论 and i want EVERYONE who's a 粉丝
of 随意 to write what they think is right


and become a 粉丝 of me and become a 粉丝 of my
article

and remember

what came first
the egg
或者 the chicken

i am only doing this because i have been
wondering that for ages
1. At the movies: When 你 meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are 你 doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t 你 try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When 你 ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked 由 his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes 首页 and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother 回复 " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad 回复 "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she 回复 "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she 回复 "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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Okay so if 你 live on the eastcoast u are probably getting used to the snow..........so even if u aren't, everybody has the problem of having nothing to do when it snows but sled. So these are a few of the things that i enjoy to do.........hehe!

1. Fill balloons with water. Then leave them outside overnight.............yeah i'm this stupid. The 下一个 day, cut the balloons off and 你 got.........AN ICE BALL!! (i usually make like 15) Then use them to pay dodgeball. This is especially fun to do in deep snow, when 你 can barely 移动 as it is. Technically, u could use them to do various things,...
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added by PoddoChan
Source: DeviantARt.com
added by NomyCake
Source: AngelzFunnys.com
added by iFly_12
posted by Shelly_McShelly
If 你 tied buttered 烤面包, 吐司 to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when 你 turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What happens if 你 open it somewhere else?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when 你 transport something 由 car, it's called a shipment, but when 你 transport something 由 ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little...
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