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The following dumb laws are, 或者 were at some point, actually laws in the United States listed below. Now, before 你 go any further do know that I'm not a lawyer nor am I claiming any responsibilty if 你 bail off and do something stupid 或者 try using something here as a defense in court (rofl at that).

Alabama

In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable 由 death.
Alaska

In Fairbanks, it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
While it is legal to shoot bears, waking sleeping 熊 for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
Arizona

In Tucson, it is illegal for women to wear pants.
In Globe, it is illegal to play cards in the 街, 街道 with a Native American.
In Glendale, it is illegal to drive a car in reverse.
In Nogales, it is illegal to wear suspenders.
Arkansas

A man can legally beat his wife, but not 更多 than once a month.
In Fayetteville, it is illegal to kill "any living creature".
Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-Day jail term.
California

动物 are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, 或者 place of worship.
Women may not drive in a house coat.
In Pacific Groove, "molesting" 蝴蝶 can result in a $500 fine.
It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.
In San Francisco, it is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
Colorado

In Logan County, it is illegal for a man to 吻乐队(Kiss) a woman while she is asleep.
Connecticut

It is illegal to dispose used razor blades.
In New Britain, the speed for 火, 消防 trucks is 25 m.p.h. even when going to a fire.
In Hartford, it is illegal for a man to 吻乐队(Kiss) his wife on Sunday.
Delaware

It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of 食物 and drink.
Florida

If an 象, 大象 is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
In Miami, it is illegal for a man to wear any kind of strapless gown.
Unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed.
When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
In Sarasota, it is illegal to sing while wearing a bathing suit.
Georgia

While Georgia operates its own lottery, it "protects" its citizens 由 making it illegal to promote a private lottery.
Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket on Sunday.
Hawaii

It is illegal to appear in public wearing only swimming trunks.
It is illegal to own a 猫鼬 without a permit.
Idaho

你 may not 鱼 on a camel's back.
Illinois

In Chicago, it is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.
According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American".
Indiana

Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.
It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
Iowa

State law forbids any establishment from charging admission to see a one-armed 钢琴 player.
In Fort Madison, firemen are required to practice for 15 分钟 before attending a fire.
Kansas

Prohibits shooting rabbits from a motorboat.
Kentucky

It is illegal to remarry the same man four times.
Louisiana

In New Orleans, 火, 消防 trucks are required 由 law to stop at all red lights.
It is considered "simple assault'' to bite someone in New Orleans; it is "aggravated assault" if the biter has false teeth.
It is against the law to gargle in public.
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Maine

In Waterville, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.
Maryland

In Halethorpe, it is illegal to 吻乐队(Kiss) for 更多 than one second.
Massachusetts

In Salem, even married couples are forbidden from sleeping in the nude in rented rooms.
It is illegal to wear a goatee without a license.
In Boston, it is illegal to take a bath unless one has been ordered 由 a physician to do so.
In 1659, the state outlawed Christmas.
Michigan

In Clawson, it is legal for a farmer to "sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens."
A state law stipulates that a woman's hair legally belongs to her husband.
In Detroit, it is illegal to make 爱情 in a car unless it is parked on your property.
你 may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
In Port Huron, the speed for ambulances in 20 m.p.h.
Under state law, dentists are officially classified as "mechanics."
Minnesota

Women may face up to 30 days in jail if they impersonate Santa Claus.
In Minneapolis, double-parkers can be put on a chain gang.
Every man in Brainerd is required 由 law to grow a beard.
It's illegal to tease skunks.
Mississippi

In Truro, a would-be groom must "prove himself manly" prior to marriage 由 hunting and killing either six blackbirds 或者 three crows.
Missouri

It is illegal to have oral sex.
Single men between the ages of twenty-one and fifty must pay an annual tax of one dollar (enacted 1820).
Montana

Prostitution is considered a "crime against the family".
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
It is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to 鱼 alone at all.
It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style.
Seven 或者 更多 indians are considered a raiding 或者 war party and it is legal to shoot them.
Nebraska

It is illegal for bar owners to sell 啤酒 unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
Nevada

It is illegal to drive a 骆驼 on the highway.
It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
New Hampshire

你 cannot sell the clothes 你 are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
New Jersey

Spray paint may not be sold without a 发布 sign warning juveliles of the penalty for creating graffiti.
It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.
It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
New Mexico

It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery.
New York

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city 街, 街道 and looking "at a woman in that way." A 秒 conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
North Dakota

啤酒 and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar 或者 restaurant.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
Ohio

It is illegal to 鱼 for whales on Sunday.
It is illegal to get a 鱼 drunk.
Pennsylvania

A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.
Texas

It is illegal to take 更多 than three sips of 啤酒 at a time while standing.
It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. 你 don't need a windshield, but 你 must have the wipers.
It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the 秒 story of a hotel.
It is illegal to 牛奶 another person's cow.
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally 或者 in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making 啤酒 at home.
Wisconsin

你 must manually flush all urinals in a building.
牛油, 黄油 substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
posted by hetaliaitaly
Allen Walker
Gaara
Neji Hyuga
鹿丸 Nara
Death the kid
Duke Devlin
Zelgadis Greywords
Valgaav
South Italy
North Italy
Germany
Japan
Spain
Near/Nate River
L
Tsubasa otori
Shun kazami
Kiba inuzuka
Claus von herson
Kaoru Hitachiin
Hikaru Hitachiin
Deidara
Itachi Uchiha
Izumo and Kotetsu
Toushiro Hitsugaya
Hatsuharu Sohma
Kyo Sohma
Shigure Sohma
Leader summa/pein
Hidan
Yugi
Soul Evans
Ikuto Tsukiyomi
Envy
Wrath
(there are 更多 but i cant be stuffed naming them um 评论 if i have missed any male 日本动漫 dudes 你 like and i will add them i will do a girls one soon)
posted by MsMindlessAztec
1. We dont ALWAYS want sex...only sometimes
2. we dont like it when 你 tell us wat to do
3. never, ever look at other girls with us...otherwise your kicked out
4. 删除 any pictures of ANY other girls on your phones/computers
5. 你 need to listen to us
6. if 你 going to ignore us at least do a good job at it.
7. dont always say "i 爱情 you" like 5 times a day, then we think somethings up
8. bringging us to a club and getting us drunk for sex is a bad idea
9. if 你 get in a fight, admit that your wrong...we like that
10. never say that your the "king of MY casle"
11. always tell us if your borrowing...
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I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if 你 do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.

Enjoy!

__________________________________________________

6 Ways On How To Deal With 鲨鱼 Attacks:

1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
More than 99% of 鲨鱼 attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if 你 are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.

2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there...
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posted by mehere
Im sorry if 你 dont like me Im sorry if 你 think I suck but most of all Im sorry, I dont give a fuck

Worry about your character and not your reputation, because your character is who 你 are, and your reputation is only what people think of you.

I think Ive finally come to the point in my life where Im happy with myself and know that I dont have to change 或者 be a certain way for people to like me anymore. Im just fine and if someone doesnt think I am, screw them.

If 你 don't like my words, don't listen. If 你 don't like my appearance, don't look. If 你 don't like my actions, turn your head; It's as simple as that.

Although Ive been hurt I still remain strong. 你 think I have regrets? Well, youre wrong.
Note; This song is based off of My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic's very own Pinkie Pie's song, 'Giggle at the Ghostie'.

Come on, Fanpop, don't 你 see!
When I was a little silly and the trolls would bring me down!
Their malice and their hatred was starting to make me frown!
I'd cry in my own bedroom, from what I thought I read! But this shouldn't be the reason that I should end up dead!
They say, "Phoenix, 你 gotta stand up tall, and deal with these dumb fags! They're just idiots who try to be a dirtbag!"
'Teehee' at the Troll!
Do a barrel roll!
Slap the swearing jerks!
Always have your perks!
Ignore the idiot!
报道 the hypocrite!
And tell that stupid jerk to leave 你 alone
And GTFO off the computer because if they don't they got another thing coming for them and TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLL!
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan them!

Now don't let those trolls get to you. Kick their asses and get them off of 潮流粉丝俱乐部 and ze internetz. :3
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat 或者 drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why 你 have no food.

FRIENDS: Would bail 你 out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting 下一个 to 你 sayin "DAMN!"were screwed"!

FRIENDS: Have never seen 你 cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else 你 cried...just laugh about it with 你 in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks 你 to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has 你 on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:...
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1. Every 日 at school is the same
2. 你 never know if your braids look digusting 或者 not
3. 你 are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. 你 would like to think that people notice 或者 even think about 你 but 你 are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows 或者 cares about
5. 你 worry people will write nasty 评论 on your 潮流粉丝俱乐部 文章 that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all 你 do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When 你 only really have like 3 老友记 at school and 2 of them...
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This is a true story of Mother’s Sacrifice during the China Earthquake.
After the Earthquake had subsided, when the rescuers reached the ruins of a young woman’s house, they saw her dead body through the cracks. But her pose was somehow strange that she knelt on her knees like a person was worshiping; her body was leaning forward, and her two hands were supporting 由 an object. The collapsed house had crashed her back and her head.

With so many difficulties, the leader of the rescuer team put his hand through a narrow gap on the 墙 to reach the woman’s body. He was hoping that this woman...
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1) Lean over them when there asleep and sing a lullaby really loud and out of tune.

2) Every five 分钟 yell "The aliens are coming!"

3) Choose a specifice piece of cutlery (eg. a fork) and stare accusingly at that item every time 你 see it.

4) Buy face paints and paint their face when there asleep. Try doing something the person is afriad of. (eg. clown, zombie)

5) Announce that 你 are actually a secret agent, spying on somone who lives in your house.

6) Call your house number and announce that 你 are going on strike. If they ask for a reason, hang up. Caution: Make sure 你 dont get a wrong number!!

7) Put ice cubes in everyone's warm drink.

8) Every time they speak interrupt them with "Curiosity killed the cat."

9) Set alarms on your mobile/cell phone that go off every 10 minutes.
posted by MJlover101
-New York City has 11 letters.

-Afghanistan has 11 letters.

-Ramsin Yuseb (the terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.

-George W 衬套, 布什 has 11 letters.

-The Twin Towers make an "11",

-New York is the 11th state.

-The first plane that crashed into the Twin Towers was flight number 11.

-Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. (9+2=11)

-Flight 77 which also hit the Twin Towers was carrying 65 passengers. (6+5=11)

-The tradegy was September 11, 或者 9/11. (9+1+1=11)

-The total number of victims inside the planes was 254. (2+4+5=11)

-September 11 is the 254th 日 of the year....
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Note:I wrote that only for fun! i don't even believe if the world is going to end in 2012 cause God only knows when! so don't put stupid 评论 please!


-How to Survive:

1-Make sure that you've got a back pack full of 食物 and drink

2-Build a room under the ground make sure,that it's ready to use.

3-Sell your Home

4-If your mum 或者 dad is a Doctor ask him/her to teach 你 some stuff about nursing

5-go to the room 你 built under the ground and put some 食物 and drinks there!

6-When the 日 comes! go to the room 你 built under the ground at 4:00 am before the sun comes!


How to get Ready:(2 Days before...
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posted by animefreak21
do this stuff if u dare but it would be funny 2 c
something like this happen i also made this up myself

1. start caramelldansen in the middle of the store

2. go up 2 a 随意 person and hand them a paper
that says death on it when u hand it 2 them say
wakarimasen (i don't understand) in a really weird
voice then run away

3. sing a really annoying song at the 最佳, 返回页首 of your lungs repeatedly

4. follow 随意 people all over the store 或者 where ever they go except the bathroom (that would just be
creepy)

5. say there u r i was looking all over 4 u and glomp (hug some 1 really tight) a 随意 person

6. go up...
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posted by Ninjacupcake
Hate is everywhere. It can be because of race, gender 或者 if someone is gay/lesbian/bi. Sadly, a lot of us have to live with it. What I want to speak about are the hatings of people with different sexual orientations.

Most of 你 have heard Born This Way 由 Lady Gaga. I want to say that everyone IS beautiful in their way cause God makes no mistakes. Even though I'm straight, that does NOT mean that I hate others. I 爱情 everyone. It makes me mad, but also sad, because that's a human being 你 are hating. They have red blood when they bleed, need 食物 when they are hungry, and DANG, their poop...
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posted by iluvsmj
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do 你 want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take 你 out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call 你 sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give 你 a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why 你 are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are 你 going through now?

"I 爱情 you, too." = Okay, I 说 it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I...
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this is something that was in the news box on yahoo.



New term: mom-zilla. We know all about temporary bridal insanity, and the underreported groom version, but in some families, it’s the parents who are seized 由 irrational wedding meltdowns.

Last month, 60-year-old British florist and total mom-zilla, Carolyn Bourne attacked. After her stepson’s bride-to-be, Heidi Withers, was a guest in her house she had a thing 或者 two to teach her before she entered the Bourne family.

So Bourne sent the 29-year-old a soul-crushing email. The subject line: “Your lack of manners.” The bullet points...
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1.You abuse our 爱情 你 lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we 爱情 him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our 爱情 is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we 爱情 be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape 或者 form.
6.Guys 你 should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with 你 (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly 爱情 we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When 你 (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
Just 阅读 some of the 《终结者》 语录 through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!


Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash 日 tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.


I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. 你 might get annoyed 由 it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
posted by iamagagamonster
~ In my opinion! alright! 你 can think what ever 你 can think about the heros on here ~

5. Batman: The majority of people 爱情 batman, I go for Superman. 蝙蝠侠 dosn't even have super powers he only has gadjets [spelling?] and gizmos. One 日 he's gona be in deep danger and then he won't be able to reach his "special" button. Without the help of his sidekick, which brings me to my 下一个 hero

4. Robin: Robin is a superhero named after a migratory songbird that 你 can find in your backyard and feed bird seed to. Can someone tell me why they would name Batman’s sidekick after a songbird? What...
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How to Tell if a Guy likes You
How to Know that a Guy Likes You

Here are the 500 ways to tell if a guy likes You....

01. He smiles at 你 a lot.

02. He likes talking to you.

03. He compliments 你 a lot.

04. He always agrees with you.

05. He asks if 你 are single.

06. He asks 你 out for lunch.

07. He asks 你 out on a date.

08. He knows your zodiac sign.

09. He never burps around you.

10. He really cares about you.

11. He treats 你 like a lady.

12. He walks 你 to your door.

13. He wants to see 你 often.

14. He always wants to hug you.

15. He tells 你 he likes you.

16. His 老友记 know...
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posted by sierradawn9
Ok, so I'm a redhead. I have freckles and light skin. So I'm considered ginger. Until a few weeks ago, I didn't even know what that term meant.
 I learned what it meant when I was on the bus and this guy took something from me. He 说 he wouldn't give it back until I admitted I was a ginger. So I 说 "I'm a ginger...?", and he yelled "You have no soooouuul!"
 That got me mad, sad, and confused.
 Seriously guys. Really? Just because some (and I do mean some) redheads have attitudes and act bitchy, that does NOT give 你 the right to make a stereotype out of the rest of us redheads.
 I'm not...
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