1) If 爱情 is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should 你 believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that 狗 爱情 to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at 你 if 你 blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a 树 falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the 五角大楼 were run 由 women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do 你 plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your 座位 can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice 日 in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that 羊 don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 小时 convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for 更多 than one 鹅 is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did 你 know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If 橄榄 oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do 你 know if 酸, 酸奶 cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern 日 witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do 《美人鱼》 wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do 马 call their scary dreams?
41) Do 你 get to keep the time 你 save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does 分钟 白饭, 大米 have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do 你 slam revolving doors?
52) If 你 put 食物 colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an 橙子, 橙色 is 橙子, 橙色 and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should 你 believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that 狗 爱情 to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at 你 if 你 blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a 树 falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the 五角大楼 were run 由 women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do 你 plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your 座位 can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice 日 in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that 羊 don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 小时 convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for 更多 than one 鹅 is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did 你 know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If 橄榄 oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do 你 know if 酸, 酸奶 cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern 日 witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do 《美人鱼》 wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do 马 call their scary dreams?
41) Do 你 get to keep the time 你 save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does 分钟 白饭, 大米 have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do 你 slam revolving doors?
52) If 你 put 食物 colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an 橙子, 橙色 is 橙子, 橙色 and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
Ashley:Okay,lets see there's,a four 年 old Amber,
A 12 年 old Kennedy,A 5 年 old Harper,And then there's 9 年 old Zack.Some job*Hears screaming*
Amber:HARPER!GET OUT!!!NOW!!!
Harper:Fine!*Takes Dolls*Hope ya don't need your Dollies!*Runs*
Amber:HARPER STOP IT!!!!I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU!
Ashley:STOP IT!!*Stops Harper*Harper!Give Amber her 玩偶 back.
Harper:FINE!!*Throws Dolls*I HATE EVERYTHING!!!
Ashley:Okay.Amber,Do 你 want something to eat?
Amber:Yes!Can I have a waffle?
Ashley:Sure!*Goes In kitchen*Waffles...waffles,Oh!
here we go,Okay Egos!Put in 烤面包机 for half a minute.
*Ten 分钟 later*
Kennedy:Hey Ashley!Do 你 know who you're working for?
Ashley:Uh Darrel And Amy?
Kennedy:Well yes but,They're also BILLIONAIRES!They picked 你 as the Babysitter cause 你 have 7 siblings and 你 all ways babysat them.
Ashley:So your telling me that...I'M WORKING FOR BILLIONAIRES!!??
Kennedy:*Rolls eyes*Yes...Yes that is what I meant!
A 12 年 old Kennedy,A 5 年 old Harper,And then there's 9 年 old Zack.Some job*Hears screaming*
Amber:HARPER!GET OUT!!!NOW!!!
Harper:Fine!*Takes Dolls*Hope ya don't need your Dollies!*Runs*
Amber:HARPER STOP IT!!!!I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU!
Ashley:STOP IT!!*Stops Harper*Harper!Give Amber her 玩偶 back.
Harper:FINE!!*Throws Dolls*I HATE EVERYTHING!!!
Ashley:Okay.Amber,Do 你 want something to eat?
Amber:Yes!Can I have a waffle?
Ashley:Sure!*Goes In kitchen*Waffles...waffles,Oh!
here we go,Okay Egos!Put in 烤面包机 for half a minute.
*Ten 分钟 later*
Kennedy:Hey Ashley!Do 你 know who you're working for?
Ashley:Uh Darrel And Amy?
Kennedy:Well yes but,They're also BILLIONAIRES!They picked 你 as the Babysitter cause 你 have 7 siblings and 你 all ways babysat them.
Ashley:So your telling me that...I'M WORKING FOR BILLIONAIRES!!??
Kennedy:*Rolls eyes*Yes...Yes that is what I meant!
1. 你 grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
2. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
3. 你 take 照片 of yourself from ten feet away without using your camera’s auto-timer.
4. Your eyes stay open when 你 sneeze.
5. 你 don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
6. You’re elected "Employee of the Month" at 星巴克 and 你 don’t even work there.
7. 你 spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
8. Your 猫 are named "Cream" and "Sugar."
9. 你 can’t even remember your 秒 cup.
10. 你 can jump-start your car without cables.
*** I didn't write this. i got it from link
i thought it was funny and wanted to share it***
2. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
3. 你 take 照片 of yourself from ten feet away without using your camera’s auto-timer.
4. Your eyes stay open when 你 sneeze.
5. 你 don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
6. You’re elected "Employee of the Month" at 星巴克 and 你 don’t even work there.
7. 你 spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
8. Your 猫 are named "Cream" and "Sugar."
9. 你 can’t even remember your 秒 cup.
10. 你 can jump-start your car without cables.
*** I didn't write this. i got it from link
i thought it was funny and wanted to share it***
Yes indeed, Rebecca has become famous thanks to her annoying song Friday and has got a record deal for a Cd with five 更多 songs, can 你 believe it? :/
Rebecca, is known-for and hated for “Friday”, she has even 说 that she doesn't like the song....we're not sure we believe that.
So on her 下一个 CD Rebecca promises to have a 更多 natural sound than in Friday, and that she, at least, will like her songs....it's amazing how much power the Internet has! It makes and breaks stars.
source: europapress
I was walking 首页 from walmart when a carrot fell from the sky and started talking to me then an air raid siren went off and flying pigs were dropping sausage rolls that blew up into smiley faces when they hit the ground then a 鲸, 鲸鱼 drove 由 in his sedan and 说 happy 万圣节前夕 to me then micheal Jackson did the moonwalk on the moon with a cow.
I was like wow I went 首页 and played wit my xbox, PIE!
And a cat grew a 鱼 tail and swam away from a basketball
Watch out CHAINSAW MONKEY!
Gggggvgggghfgjsfkfxhjcbkfzhjvxhjxgjcftafhvcihgfxbvzgcdgfgvff
I was like wow I went 首页 and played wit my xbox, PIE!
And a cat grew a 鱼 tail and swam away from a basketball
Watch out CHAINSAW MONKEY!
Gggggvgggghfgjsfkfxhjcbkfzhjvxhjxgjcftafhvcihgfxbvzgcdgfgvff
Hi everyone this is the Invader Calliope show!
Time to talk about stuff!
Ok here are two perfect things that i love! Invader Zim and Anime!!
Ok i'm on team and l then Mellow then Near!
I do 爱情 Misa though!
I 爱情 白饭, 大米 balls!
Oh my fave number is 37!
I'm using my laptop!
I 爱情 my cat!
I am feeling happy today!
I enjoy sweets!
I don't eat to much sweets i do eat my vegetables!
I 爱情 the colors: 青柠, 石灰 Green,Dark Purple,Cyber Blue,and Black!
I 爱情 the Invader Zim sound track and the amazing singer gir!
Time to talk about stuff!
Ok here are two perfect things that i love! Invader Zim and Anime!!
Ok i'm on team and l then Mellow then Near!
I do 爱情 Misa though!
I 爱情 白饭, 大米 balls!
Oh my fave number is 37!
I'm using my laptop!
I 爱情 my cat!
I am feeling happy today!
I enjoy sweets!
I don't eat to much sweets i do eat my vegetables!
I 爱情 the colors: 青柠, 石灰 Green,Dark Purple,Cyber Blue,and Black!
I 爱情 the Invader Zim sound track and the amazing singer gir!
Miss Carey: Here are your costumes for the play children. Come and see!
Ed: Is it my costume?
Miss Carey: Yes, it is.
Mady: Is this my dress? It's pretty.
Nicki: Here's my own 天鹅 costume. Look at my 橙子, 橙色 beak.
Miss Carey: You're the ugly duckling, Allex. Here 你 are.
Allex: Thank you, Miss Carey.
Nicki: Let's put on our costumes!
Mady: Oh no! Look at my dress! It's much too lond.
Ed: My hat is too small. I look tidiculous.
Allex: I look 更多 ridiculous than you. Look at my feet!
Miss Carey: Oh dear! Theey're much too big!
Nicki: And I haven't got any wings!
Ed: This play is a disaster!
Mady: First we've got thousands of scripts.
Allex: And now our costumes don't fit.
Nicki: What's next?
Ed: Is it my costume?
Miss Carey: Yes, it is.
Mady: Is this my dress? It's pretty.
Nicki: Here's my own 天鹅 costume. Look at my 橙子, 橙色 beak.
Miss Carey: You're the ugly duckling, Allex. Here 你 are.
Allex: Thank you, Miss Carey.
Nicki: Let's put on our costumes!
Mady: Oh no! Look at my dress! It's much too lond.
Ed: My hat is too small. I look tidiculous.
Allex: I look 更多 ridiculous than you. Look at my feet!
Miss Carey: Oh dear! Theey're much too big!
Nicki: And I haven't got any wings!
Ed: This play is a disaster!
Mady: First we've got thousands of scripts.
Allex: And now our costumes don't fit.
Nicki: What's next?
The key is in how the relationship has ended. It's important that there is no anger and no one has cheated. If this is true for 你 then it is 更多 than possible that with a little time 你 two can go back to being friends.
老友记 and just friends. 你 must be clear about what 你 want. Sometimes when we pretend to want to be 老友记 with our ex, we are really looking to get back together. Sometimes this is what 你 want and it works, but if it goes wrong then things will be even worse.
Give him space. If after some time apart 你 still want to continue to spend time together without wanting to be a couple, then 你 are ready to be 老友记 again!
-source: justjared T.V show<>