随意 Club
加入
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped 由 terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds 偷了 it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket 偷了 it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination wore off and we had to go to the hospital.

9.My skimpy printer ran out of ink.

10.I wasn't able to do my homework this weekend because when I went ice fishing, the heater inside of the tent got too close to the 墙 of the tent, starting it on fire. And when I ran out of there, I realized that my cat was still in there. My cat was in there because all the small 鱼 that I catch, I just give to my cat. But when I went back for my cat, the 火, 消防 was too hot. So I spent the weekend morning the loss of my cat.

11."You 说 do 问题 1-10. 你 didn't say bring them in."

12.My youngest daughter couldn't turn in her homework because her younger step-brother had stolen it, filled it in and turned it in to his teacher to prove how smart he was.

13.My house is being fumigated and I don't want to go in there and suffocate just to get it.

14.I left it in my 衬衫 and my mother put the 衬衫 in the wash.

15.I didn't do it because I spent all night doing the 前一个 night's homework.

16.My Dad accidentally put it in his 公文包 and took it to work.

17.My flash drive exploded.

18.The cleaning lady threw it away.

19.I felt like doing the whole book on the bus ride home, so I did -- but after the first 116 pages, I got bus-sick and puked all over the workbook and all my homework! What a coincidence, eh? So I started an extra credit 报道 about World War I & II in my car going back 首页 after 晚餐 and, lo and behold!, my clumsy little siblings all felt carsick and hurled all over it and the World War 图书馆 book (that'll explain the School 图书馆 fine). And it was already too late to start another one, so my mom wrote me a note excusing me for not bringing in my homework. I was looking at it on the bus when Billy (or whoever), who was sitting 下一个 to me, felt really sick and guess what happened?

20.I put it in the safe, but 迷失 the combination.

21.My child’s locker is jammed and she can't get her homework out of it.

22.Some aliens from outer 太空 borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked.

23.Had to bail mom out of jail again.

24.A sudden wind blew it out of my hand and I never saw it again.

25.I have the mathematical proof, but there isn't room to write it in the margin.

26.The lights in our house went out, and I had to burn it to get enough light to see the fuse box.

27.I was in the lunch room and another student started criticizing 你 and I just couldn't let that go without letting him know he was wrong. I searched through my backpack to find something to throw at him, and all I could find was today's homework assignment, so I let him have it.

28.I thought the assignment was uninspiring. I read Moby Dick instead.

29.I got soap in my eyes and was blinded for the rest of the night.

30.Please excuse Jackie for not having her homework she was a little under the weatherman, and there was a big flurry in Central America.

31.I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.It wasn't challenging enough.

32.Our dog has mistaken Reid’s homework for that GOSH DAMN newspaper.

33.I didn't do it, because I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.

34.I gave it to a homeless man to line his hat with.

35.My daughter couldn't turn in her homework because her dad had used it to start a 火, 消防 in the wood stove.

36.A man came into my house last night and threatened to commit suicide. Well, it turns out he had a split-personality, so it was considered a hostage situation. It was a big commotion. Police, ambulance, everything! I can't believe 你 didn't hear about it! That's why I couldn't get my homework done.

37.A mad circus clown 偷了 it on my bus stop and tried luring me into his house with it.

38.Aliens from outer 太空 abducted my homework. They threatened me and 说 that if I didn’t give them my homework that I would be terminated.

39."Sharon didn't do her homework because of her eyes.....She couldn't see any reason to do it."

40.My internet access was down (for emailed assignments).

41.I did my homework in my head, I didn’t know I was supposed to write it down. Then I forgot. 下一个 time should I 显示 my work?

42.I left it at Mom's house when she took me back to Dad's house.

43.I did do it all, but before I got a chance to save, my book crashed and I 迷失 it all.

44.I loaned it to a friend, but he moved away.

45.I left it in my locker with last week's assignment.

46."I left it on your 台, 办公桌 last Friday but its just not here and it was handwritten so I can't print it off again, took me ages!"

47.I left it in a hymn book in the choir loft, having used it to mark my solo.

48.I gave it to the substitute.

49.My printer broke and my disk is corrupted. Unfortunately my computer crashed this morning as well.

50.I left my homework on my 台, 办公桌 at home. My dog got ahold of it and slobbered all over it. I didn’t want to bring it in with all those dog germs.

51.I dropped it in the toilet accidentally and it got flushed.

52.I have radon poisoning.

53.My notebook got stolen in the school cafeteria and it had all my work in it.

54.There's a virus in my printer.

55."Joe don't have his homework because our family just got a new paper shredder, and I just had to test it out, and I accidentally shredded Joe’s homework."

56.My father had a nervous breakdown and he cut it up to make paper dolls.

57.Another student fell in a lake, and I jumped in to rescue him but unfortunately my homework drowned.

58.We had no 食物 in the house. I can’t do homework on an empty stomach. Can you?

59.I left it in the back of the truck when we went deer hunting. One of the textbook's word problems offended me. I'm not supporting them 由 doing any 更多 of their problems.

60.Please excuse my son for doing so poorly on the test. The 小时 he puts aside to do homework and studying every week was 迷失 when the clocks "sprung forward" over the weekend.

61.I was at a rally last night.
posted by boomerlover
Impossible to Please

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor 由 floor, and once 你 find what 你 are looking for, 你 can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling 你 what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The 老友记 laugh and without hesitation...
continue reading...
posted by brooki
Well ... yea. Just thought these were cool. Like applesauce.

I'm kind of obessed with you. I hope 你 realize how inconvient that is.

Don't be jealous cause I'm a ninja!

Good 老友记 don't let 你 do stupid things ... alone.

Don't make me call my flying monkeys!

Math illeteracy effects 8 out of every 5 people.

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Do not make me throw a possum at your face.

Automatic doors make me feel like a JEDI.

AWW! THAT IS SO CUTE! 你 actually think I care :)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... No.

If 你 met my family, you'd understand.

HAHA. Wait, what?

We're so cool ice cubes are jealous.

"Hey, guess what?" "No."

Comments DISPARSE! did I use that right ... ? :/
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up 由 唱歌 海滩 Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say 你 taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10....
continue reading...
posted by Shelly_McShelly
20 Things To Do In A Drive Through Lane

1. Stand close to the speaker and yell your order, using colorful expletives in ways which would embarrass the patrons inside.

2. Drive through backwards.

3. Belch your order.

4. After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume.

5. Barter. Offer a Whopper for a Big Mac.

6. Walk through.

7. Speak a foreign language (make one up if 你 have to). When the manager comes to the mic, speak English and inquire as to why the order taker had such difficulty...
continue reading...
"ATTENTION TDI AND TDA FANS!!!! GUESS WAT... FOR TOTAL DRAMA ACTION EPISODE 14 IS COMING OUT IN 3WEEKS!!!!!!! I REPEAT 3 WEEKS!!!! OMIGOSH THIS IS BIG NEWS THE EXACT 日期 IS: September 1, 2009 in both canada and the usa every1 should watch!!!!!!"
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
added by Mollymolata
posted by invadercalliope
Hi i'm Invader Calliope!
1.I cry for the time that 你 were almost mine, I cry for the memories i've left behind,I cry for the pain, the lost, the old the new,i cry for the times i thought i had you.
2.Not all scars show, not all wounds heal sometimes 你 can't always see the pain someone feels
3.One 日 you'll ask me, "which is 更多 important to you, me 或者 your life" i'll say "My Life" and you'll go and leave me without knowing 你 are my life.
4.A breakup is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it.
5.if your 爱情 does NOT work for that person,...
continue reading...
added by liridonarama96
link


Yes I know what your gonna say

“Connor Breaking Bad is SOOO 2008, stop living the past 你 pathetic piece of Canadian dog shit.”

Well firstly, fuck you.. No but seriously Breaking Bad has gone down as one of the greatest shows of the 最近的 decade, it has won many awards and skyrocketed Bryan Cranston’s career as 更多 as just the bumbling idiot in sitcoms.

But why am I talking about it so late in the game.. cause I’m mature now, at least I like to think I am. Mature enough to finally ‘really’ get this show.. Its the sins of Greed and Pride.. How having too much of both can turn...
continue reading...
video
teenage mutant ninja turtles
mutant mayhem
电影院
video
音乐
david
guetta
bebe
rexha
i'm
good
blue
uptempo
hardcore
People liked my old 鸡皮疙瘩 文章 so in the spirit of October lets do this...


BEST:

SLAPPY SERIES:
Let's just call it that, he's the reason we all remember anyway.. Inspired 由 a Twilight episode it's about a sentient dummy who likes making people his slaves, but not before gaslighting enough to make people think your crazy, 你 know like most evil dolls.. He does stand out a strong enough villain that he's the most remembered..

And lets not forget, he got struck 由 lightening at one point, so even God was tired of this dude's shit..


WELCOME TO DEAD HOUSE:
I don't really remember the book,...
continue reading...
1: (CAT IN THE HAT)
BionicPIG 1 (wearing wig) Hello everyone welcome to my vide-
BionicPIG 2, (no wig): (walks in)
PIG 1: Who are you!?
PIG 2: Really? Really, stop the act, 你 know EXACTLY who I am!
PIG 1: How did 你 find me!?
PIG 2: It was simple, I just traced your IP address, idiot!
PIG 1: 你 don't deserve this.. 你 don't deserve this site! EVERYONE LOVES THE WIG!!
PIG 2: Shut up! (pulls out gun) They want ME dammit!
Pig 1: What 你 gonna do!? Shoot me!? I AM you! If I'm gone, your gone two!
Pig 2: (chuckles) I'm not gonna kill you.. I just wanted to tell 你 (add voice) 你 should probably be...
continue reading...
added by Jet-Black
So believe it 或者 not, I don’t go out of my way to look for bad games. Unless there’s some weird 圣诞节 event, I never look at a PS2 game and think, “This looks like a fucking piece of shit. I wanna play that”. No, I usually want to give the games I talk about on here the benefit of the doubt and 显示 them some sort of respect. Be it something that pulls me in 或者 something that intrigues me. Like I didn’t buy Marc Ecko’s Getting Up with the intent of hating it. I bought it because it looked like a fun game and I like the urban setting. It only happened to be a pile of trash. But...
continue reading...
posted by TimberHumphrey
No, no, no, no, no-no
Ooh
No, no, no, no, no-no
Ooh

Light a blunt up with the flame
Put that cocaine on a plate
Molly with the purple rain
'Cause I 迷失 my faith
So I cut away the pain, uh
Got it swimming in my veins
Now my mind is outta place, yeah, uh
'Cause I 迷失 my faith

And I feel everything
I feel everything from my body to my soul
No, no
Well, I feel everything
When I'm coming down is the most I feel alone
No, no

I've been sober for a year, now it's time for me
To go back to my old ways, don't 你 cry for me
Thought I'd be a better man, but I lied to me and to you

I take half a Xan' and I still stay awake...
continue reading...
posted by TimberHumphrey
Yeah, breakfast at Tiffany's and bottles of bubbles
Girls with 纹身 who like getting in trouble
Lashes and diamonds, ATM machines
Buy myself all of my 最喜爱的 things (yeah)

Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch
Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage?
Rather be tied up with calls and not strings
Write my own checks like I write what I sing, yeah (yeah)

My wrist, stop watchin', my neck is flossy
Make big deposits, my gloss is poppin'
You like my hair? Gee, thanks, just bought it
I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it (yeah)

I want it, I got it, I want it, I got it
I want it, I got...
continue reading...
posted by TimberHumphrey
25 years and my life is still
Tryin' to get up that great big 爬坡道, 小山 of hope
For a destination

I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means

And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out what's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar

And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the 最佳, 返回页首 of my lungs
"What's going on?"

And I say, hey-ey-ey
Hey-ey-ey
I 说 "Hey, a-what's going on?"
And I say, hey-ey-ey
Hey-ey-ey
I 说 "Hey, a-what's going on?"

Ooh,...
continue reading...
posted by TimberHumphrey
I wanna take 你 somewhere so 你 know I care
But it's so cold and I don't know where
I brought 你 daffodils in a pretty string
But they won't 花 like they did last spring

And I wanna 吻乐队(Kiss) you, make 你 feel alright
I'm just so tired to share my nights
I wanna cry and I wanna love
But all my tears have been used up

On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up

Oh oh

And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight
But my hands been broken, one too many times
So I'll use my voice,...
continue reading...