I found this on www.funny.com, and it's kinda hilarious!! Can 你 guess whose and what job it is?
你 think your job sucks? Let me tell 你 about the people I work with.
First, there's this supermodel wanna-be chick. Ok, I'll admit, she's pretty hot, but damn she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair 或者 putting on her makeup. She is extremely self centered and never considers the needs of anyone other than herself. She is dumber than a box of rocks and I find it surprising that she has enough brain power to breathe.
The 下一个 chick is exactly the opposite- she might even be one of the smartest girls on the planet. She has endless career opportunities but she's still here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I doubt she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive past the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is 更多 than just your average pothead. The guy is baked before he comes to work, after work, and even during work. He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last 10 years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and, to make things worse, brings his fucking giant dog to work. Every fucking 日 I have to look at this huge Great Dane walking around half stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King every single fucking day.
Anyways, I drive these fucktards around in my 面包车, 范 and we solve mysteries and shit.
你 think your job sucks? Let me tell 你 about the people I work with.
First, there's this supermodel wanna-be chick. Ok, I'll admit, she's pretty hot, but damn she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair 或者 putting on her makeup. She is extremely self centered and never considers the needs of anyone other than herself. She is dumber than a box of rocks and I find it surprising that she has enough brain power to breathe.
The 下一个 chick is exactly the opposite- she might even be one of the smartest girls on the planet. She has endless career opportunities but she's still here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I doubt she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive past the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is 更多 than just your average pothead. The guy is baked before he comes to work, after work, and even during work. He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last 10 years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and, to make things worse, brings his fucking giant dog to work. Every fucking 日 I have to look at this huge Great Dane walking around half stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King every single fucking day.
Anyways, I drive these fucktards around in my 面包车, 范 and we solve mysteries and shit.
"I promise my dear that i will tell no one of what 你 will tell me today " 说 the man .
"Alright but 你 will not like what i tell 你 .' 'I do not know where to begin ."
"Just start with your name I am willing to listen " 说 the man " i am doctor after all."
"ok , my name is Melody Willgrove and i am a werewolf "
alright if 你 want hear 更多 . tell me because that was just a prologue .sorry if it bored u
LOVE them :D
A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps 下一个 to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy 你 another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This 日 is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police 说 that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in 床, 床上 with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, 你 显示 up and drink my poison."
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps 下一个 to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy 你 another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This 日 is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police 说 that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in 床, 床上 with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, 你 显示 up and drink my poison."
Step 1: Form crush
Step 2: Stalk crush on Facebook
Step 3: Talk to 老友记 about crush
Step 4: Talk to family about crush
Step 5: Talk to Internet people about crush
Step 6: Obsess over crush on blog
Step 7: Dream about crush
Step 8: Doodle crush's name on books
Step 9: Fall in 爱情 with crush
Step 10: Imagine having 婴儿 with crush
Step 11: Form an unhealthy obsession with what crush does every day
Step 12: Cry at night because of crush
Step 13: Imagine flirting with crush
Step 14: Dress to impress crush
Step 15: Become depressed because crush does not notice
Step 16: Hate any girl that talks to crush
Step 17: Stalk crush on Twitter
Step 18: Learn crush's favourite color, animal, activity, etc
Step 19: Send anonymous packages to crush's house
Step 20: Never ask crush out
The End.
Step 2: Stalk crush on Facebook
Step 3: Talk to 老友记 about crush
Step 4: Talk to family about crush
Step 5: Talk to Internet people about crush
Step 6: Obsess over crush on blog
Step 7: Dream about crush
Step 8: Doodle crush's name on books
Step 9: Fall in 爱情 with crush
Step 10: Imagine having 婴儿 with crush
Step 11: Form an unhealthy obsession with what crush does every day
Step 12: Cry at night because of crush
Step 13: Imagine flirting with crush
Step 14: Dress to impress crush
Step 15: Become depressed because crush does not notice
Step 16: Hate any girl that talks to crush
Step 17: Stalk crush on Twitter
Step 18: Learn crush's favourite color, animal, activity, etc
Step 19: Send anonymous packages to crush's house
Step 20: Never ask crush out
The End.
I made this 列表 before, but I guess I deleted it. Not sure why.. But it gives me an excuse to do again.. I hope I can do it better too..
10: NORMAN BATES:
Only reason he's last is because I never watched the movies, I don't know the francise. But come on, it's Psycho, of coarse it goes on the list. To the meme'd to hell violin, to the famish twist he was a crossdresser with 分裂, 拆分 personality. This movie is a icon, it's been studied and talked about to death..
9: VALEK:
While he's no Pazuzu (but who is), Valek is in my opinion the best...
continue reading...
10: NORMAN BATES:
"We all go a little mad sometimes."
Only reason he's last is because I never watched the movies, I don't know the francise. But come on, it's Psycho, of coarse it goes on the list. To the meme'd to hell violin, to the famish twist he was a crossdresser with 分裂, 拆分 personality. This movie is a icon, it's been studied and talked about to death..
9: VALEK:
While he's no Pazuzu (but who is), Valek is in my opinion the best...
The Wolf Pack
