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posted by smileypop9
I found this on www.funny.com, and it's kinda hilarious!! Can 你 guess whose and what job it is?


你 think your job sucks? Let me tell 你 about the people I work with.
First, there's this supermodel wanna-be chick. Ok, I'll admit, she's pretty hot, but damn she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair 或者 putting on her makeup. She is extremely self centered and never considers the needs of anyone other than herself. She is dumber than a box of rocks and I find it surprising that she has enough brain power to breathe.
The 下一个 chick is exactly the opposite- she might even be one of the smartest girls on the planet. She has endless career opportunities but she's still here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I doubt she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive past the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is 更多 than just your average pothead. The guy is baked before he comes to work, after work, and even during work. He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last 10 years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and, to make things worse, brings his fucking giant dog to work. Every fucking 日 I have to look at this huge Great Dane walking around half stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King every single fucking day.
Anyways, I drive these fucktards around in my 面包车, 范 and we solve mysteries and shit.
How do I become sarcastic?
CANADA24; 你 answer 问题 such as THIS one.


My house is on fire, what do I do?
CANADA24; 你 get off the fuckin computer and go outside!


Can 你 get pregnant from watching porn?
CANADA24; Only on wednesdays.


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
CANADA24; Your not drinking ENOUGH of it!


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
CANADA24; GOOD!


Why are 婴儿 ugly at first?
CANADA24; 你 try living inside a woman's vigina for so long!


How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
CANADA24; 你 take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start.


Is...
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added by TimberHumphrey
video
It’s the 万圣节前夕 season again, a time to walk around my local town like a creep, traumatize children with my stupid antics, and also talk about 电影院 that critics hate but has a passionate fandom surrounding them, 或者 at the very least, the general audiences hate. But that isn’t the case with our first film (The first introductee to Cultober II and I’ve already lied to everyone). A classic among horror fans, and even Michael Jackson himself, who took inspiration from the film to work into his own 音乐 video for Thriller, one of the most 流行的 音乐 视频 of all time. That’s right,...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme Song

Kevin: *Plays piano*
David: *Playing bass*
Liam: *Playing drums*
Liz: *Plays guitar*
Mr. Nut: *Sings* Welcome everybody to The Nut House. Thankfully this is not in Laos. Come on everybody into The Nut House. 你 can wear anything except for a blouse. Come on everybody, step into The Nut House.
Everyone: The Nut House!

Episode 16: Tubing

The Delaware River has many people travel down it's current on tubes. Most people start at Bull's Island, just north of Stockton, then continue down the river to the town of Stockton itself. Other people like to start further north, such as Frenchtown,...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Holiday Inn, Charlestown South Carolina

Three women arrived in a Chevrolet Cruze. Two were sitting up front, while one was in the back seat.

Cara: *Gets out of the car with Edith* We'll be right back. We need to get something important.
Edith: Leave the engine running.
Charlotte: *Nods. She watches the women walk into the hotel, then picks up her phone to talk to her mother*
Mom: Hello?
Charlotte: Hi Mom, 夏洛特 here.
Mom: How are 你 doing?
Charlotte: Good. I made a couple of new friends, and I just became a member of this group called Social Justice Warriors.
Mom: Congratulations darling. I need...
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added by Blaze1213IsBack
video
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Mount Stewart, Northern Ireland

Commander Kane: Gentlemen, we have invited the eight of 你 here, for a special exercise.
MI6 Commander: 你 will attempt to infiltrate a camp set up 由 my boys. Good luck to 你 Yanks.
Commander Kane: And good luck to 你 fellas as well.

After five 分钟 of getting everything set up, the CIA agents were allowed to go to the MI6 camp. Everyone was wearing black, and were carrying paintball guns.

One CIA agent, was actually an enemy spy. He was trying to find a car to use to get to the airport.

Enemy Spy: *Walking along a castle, he sees an MI6 agent walking from...
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added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: 0987654321
I actually really enjoy watching film reviews and the film reviews where critics dislike films are often 更多 entertaining. The best film reviews involve exaggerating feelings about films. However both regular people and critics often hate films. I think that hating on films too much can be a bad thing.

Of course there are plenty of films that I dislike, but I don't hate any fils. I used to hate some films. There were films that made me mad just 由 thinking about them. I don't get why people should hate films. Of course people are allowed to dislike films, but disliking and hating are 2 different...
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added by Dreamtime
Oh ..no not me XD
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音乐
In a world where every 秒 counts, managing time effectively is a universal challenge. Fortunately, Time Calculator steps in as your ultimate ally in conquering the complexities of time management. Let's embark on a journey to discover the features that make this website a game-changer.

Unveiling the Time Calculator Wizardry

At the core of Time Calculator is the link – a wizard for all your time-related calculations. Whether you're a student crunching numbers for assignments 或者 a professional navigating project timelines, this tool brings versatility to your fingertips. Adding 或者 subtracting...
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added by Crazedsitcomfan
Octordle is a very 流行的 Wordle-based word game. link differs from Wordle in a few ways, but most notably in the word count when played. With Wordle the player is trying to guess a five letter word but with Octordle the player is guessing eight five letter words at a time. Guessing a five-letter word can be a bit overwhelming for some players, so adding another seven-letter word is less than ideal. Octordle is a game for those who want a challenge. Word-savvy players can really test their skills in this game. This game works just like Wordle. It is played in the browser and keeps the same...
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added by Crazedsitcomfan
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Hi, I'm Steven Ovonel, and I'm here to tell 你 about an amazing product called Spamdex. Spamdex allows people to be harassed 由 many 随意 ads that pop up out of nowhere. We've also created hundreds of AI accounts that send messages to people about products 或者 apps that they don't want. They also create useless articles, post pointless comments, ruining people's hard work. Let's see what others have to say about Spamdex.

My name is Connor Noiles, and my review on HelluvaBoss was ruined 由 an idiot that 发布 a link to a game called Battleship Online. Why would 你 do something like that?

---...
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posted by milorox18
1. I 爱情 the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I 爱情 the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I 爱情 the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I 爱情 the way 你 look at me.

5. I 爱情 how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I 爱情 the way I can’t imagine a 日 without 你 in my life.

7. I 爱情 the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I 爱情 the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I 爱情 the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I 爱情 how I know you’ll always be there when I need 你 to be.

11....
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1- eye contact , if 你 notice him staring a lot at 你 ..like 更多 than 5 times in the same 日 .(unless 你 got a stain on your shirt)
2- if 你 and him were in the same area , he would be with 你 in every where 你 walk to ( like a party 或者 a 音乐会 ..etc)
3- he would sit 下一个 to 你 in your class ( unless hes too shy )
4- he would scream 或者 laugh out loud to get your attention .
5- he would kill to be your lab partner at school .
6 - if he says to 你 hi and hes all too sweaty , make sure hes nervous and that means he likes you.
7-if 你 drop something , he would be the first to get it for...
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posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, 你 answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, 你 answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, 你 answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, 你 say “is that so?”
5. If 你 so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher 你 did not turn in your homework because 你 were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...
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