哈利·波特 Article: harry potter jokes

4

posted by katlovesbtr

Harry Potter Jokes

Why did Harry potter?
Because he didn’t feel like rushing!

What’s the difference between a wizard and the letters M A K E S?
One makes spells, the other spells makes!

Why was Dobby always saying sorry?
Because he had low elf-esteem!

What did Harry's godfather say when Harry kept poking him?
"That's enough now Harry! I'm Sirius!"

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
你 know!
你 know who?
It's okay, he's dead! 你 can say his name now, silly

knock knock.
who's there?
wingardium levio.
wingardium levio-who?
It's wingardium leviosAAAAAAAAR

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?
None — wizards don’t use electricity!

Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?

So no one could tell what side he was on.

A blind wizard walks into a pub. He says to the barkeep, "Want to hear a Hufflepuff joke?" The pub goes completely silent. The barkeep says, "Sir, I am a Hufflepuff. I'm used to handling a rough crowd alone. I have my wand drawn. The wizard to your left is an auror with his wand drawn. He too is a Hufflepuff. The witch on your right has her wand drawn. She is a dueling champion and also a Hufflepuff. Are 你 absolutely certain 你 want to tell that Hufflepuff joke?"

The blind wizard says, "Gods no! Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times!"

What do 你 get when 你交叉, 十字架 Crookshanks with McGonagall

Really ugly kittens

angelbarbie20, bdavis98 and 2 others like this

daniellexoxo_23 Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road? So no one could tell what side he was on. -- The only one I burst out laughing to

nany5755 lol!

happygrrrr Love it!!!!!!!!

elsafan1010 Love it!

6

伦敦 OOTP Press Confrence

added by PotterGal

5

OOTP 壁纸

added by PotterGal

11

Trio

added by tubby2002

8

Harry Potter - 年 Five

added by kathiria82

5

5th Year, Not-So-Perfect Chapter 13

posted by peppergirl30

Lily's POV

They need a horcrux? From me? But 由 Abby's smug look, I can tell that they're tactful planners. They must know that the Weasleys aren't going down with a fight: They've been expecting us. Suddenly I wish that I had listened to James, that I had just backed out of all of this. Tamara surely would do it, do this even better than I could.

I took a deep breath and answered them.
__________________________________________________

Rose's POV

I'm almost afraid to go to the Great Hall. Face all those people. People who know me, 或者 Hugo, 或者 Al.. somebody that's linked to me. Why did Hugo have...

3

The owl Errol and cruelty to 动物

posted by bendaimmortal

The Weasley family has an owl named Errol and it's very old; it's moulting, and so exhausted that it can't even stand up after a flight - In fact it often downright loses consciousness after both long and short flights. If it even gets to where it's sent, because its eye vision has gotten so poor that it hits objects as it flies, which also can make it lose consciousness and could even kill it. Still the Weasley's keep using it for delievering their mail. In addition, their youngest son shows no compassion to it, calling it a "bloody bird", "menace" and "pathetic". And the Weasley parents bought...

4

How do 你 know when 你 take harry potter 2 seriously?

posted by rk1241

I got this off another website, check it out:

How do 你 know you're taking Harry Potter too seriously?

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and 你 run outside looking for an owl.
你 ask for a 扫帚 for Christmas.
你 sort everyone 你 meet into the four Hogwarts houses.
你 went out and bought the latest edition of the Webster's Dictionary because they added the word "muggle".
你 were burned trying to get through the flames of your fireplace.
你 were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!"

2

plese 加入 hartclan

posted by cat100

plese 加入 hartclan for chance at deputy and 2 props..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

4

HARR POTTER 粉丝 OF THE WEEK CONTEST OPEN

posted by koolamelia

Again, I'm really sorry for it coming late. I completely forgot but from now on, I promise I'll try to keep the contest going and try not to forget!

If you're interested in entering The 粉丝 of the Week Contest, only a few rules apply. 你 can only enter once for obvious reasons, 你 CAN vote for yourself, when entering, please include a pciture of your favourite character, 你 CAN 做广告 yourself i.e post of people's 墙 asking them to vote for you, making an artical saying why 你 should win etc.

After the contest has closed, the winner will be interviewed. The 问题 will come threw...

6

Pottermore: Number Four, 女贞, privet, 普里怀特街 Drive

posted by koolamelia

The name of the 街, 街道 where the Dursleys live is a reference to that most suburban plant, the 女贞, privet, 普里怀特街 bush, which makes neat hedges around many English gardens. I liked the associations with both suburbia and enclosure, the Dursleys being so smugly middle class, and so determinedly separate from the wizarding world. The name of their area is 'Little Whinging', which again sounds appropriately parochial and sniffy, 'whinging' being a colloquial term for 'complaining 或者 whining' in British English.

J.K Rowling:

Although I describe the Dursleys' house as big and square, as befitted Uncle Vernon's...

3

Potttermore-Ghost Plot

posted by sharon-sel

J.K. Rowling's thoughts

This is a personal expression, which has nothing to do with tales of the dead.

Over the seventeen years that I planned and wrote the seven Harry Potter 图书 (not to mention Quidditch through the Ages, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and The Tales of Beedle the Bard), I generated a mass of information about the magical world that never appeared in the books. I liked knowing these things (which was fortunate, 给 that I couldn't stop my imagination spewing it all out) and often, when I needed a throwaway detail, I had it ready because of the background I had...

3

Calypso p.7

posted by princessofmagic

Calypso's P.O.V.

Being dead wasn't bad at all. No sarcasm. When Calypso died, her soul landed in a big red room. No,it wasn't a room, but like a big red empty space. Different souls were cruised around her, to see who she was. Calyspo heard one soul say "Another one? Why are we getting so many kids?"

"Tiss a shame, there all dying far to young." another 说 sadly. Calypso raised an eyebrow. A lot of the souls left, but one remained. It was Dumbledor.

"Calypso Cryson. Seventh year, Slytherin. I remember 你 all right. Even though 你 did 你 best to avoid being seen 由 me, I noticed the resemblance...

3

The Bravest Man I Ever Knew

posted by siriusblack4eva

Severus Snape was, in fact The Bravest Man I Ever Knew. "Albus Severus, 你 were named for two headmasters at Hogwarts, one of them was a Slytherin. And he was, probably, the bravest man I ever knew." Severus Snape fought for what was right. "A true wizard on the inside. Not afraid of what he had to do" "Long 以前 I had a teacher. A sallow skinned Slytherin with long black hair. I hated him and he seemed to hate me too. Though I branded him a coward, he was, in fact, the bravest man I ever knew."
So, I say, to Severus Snape, 'You were the Bravest Man I Ever Knew. Long live Snape! He was "a true wizard on the inside."'
To Snape!

2

德赫 FanFic part 2

posted by FashionBug12

Hermione dashed up the stairs to the Gryffindor commons.
"That selfish pig. That sad excuse for a pure-blood! That-"
Ron sauntered up behind her, and put his arms around her waist. During this particular year, (6th) he was being especially romantic. His red hair was illuminated 由 the 火, 消防 behind them.
"Oh!" Hermione gasped. "Hello Ronald, how's your evening?"
He swayed her back and forth slowly, and kissed her cheek. "Better now your here."
She giggled. "Cheesy, yet effective." Hermione reached up and kissed Ron's cheek.
"So, why back so late, 'Mione?" Ron asked. "Studying for our imaginary...

22

Ways to annoy Voldemort. (Hilarious!)

posted by galou_2010

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up 由唱歌海滩 Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say 你 taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on...

1

James Harry Potter (the strory goes on)chapter 1

posted by totoly2

Hello everyone, this is a story from Harry's oldest son James point of view. Its my first 粉丝 fiction but i hope 你 enjoy!

Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermonie were over,them, mom,dad,Albus my younger brother,lily my baby sister and I were all at the 表 chatting,well at least the adults were,me and my brother were just listening to the adults go on and on about there time at Hogwarts.
"-remember when we followed those spiders into the forest and met Aragog the giant spider?" my dad was asking Uncle Ron.
"Don't even remind me harry!" Uncle Ron exclaimed
"When was that?" Hermonie asked
"You would not remember...

11

11 Comebacks to use when Voldemort says he's going to kill 你

posted by KateKicksAss

Credit: mugglenet.com
I didn't write this, I just thought it was really funny.

1. "What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind."

2. "Oh, ha ha, 你 got me!! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"

3. "Wow, you're even dumber than 你 look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for 你 now!!" *Prepare yourself 由 getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*

4. "And she's all 'F.Y.I., he's so into me and not you.' and I'm all 'Yeah, right, whatever.' Oh, I'm sorry! Did 你 say something?"

5. "Why do you...

5

The Prince and his Heavenly Princess

posted by Persephone713

September 1981
Godrics Hollow pub.

Lily was looking around as though she were scared of who may come knocking. It was an eerie night but the moon managed to peak between the clouds that were circulating above, then..the pub door opened and in walked her old friend Severus.

" Lily"..said Severus taken aback 由 her beauty in the gleam of the moonlight. Her pale silky smooth skin, Beautiful Autumn colored hair and 翠, 翡翠 green eyes that sparkled like diamonds.

" You..you came" 说 Snape

"Of course" 说 Lily " I know 你 never...meant to call me what 你 did Sev, besides I might not have much time."...

17

Remembering Severus Snape

posted by LifesGoodx3

Severus Snape

Severus Snape was killed on May 2nd, 1998, 由 Voldemort. Voldemort killed him because he thought that Snape was the master of the Elder Wand, and if he killed him, then he would be the master.

Snape is a half-blood. He did not have a good childhood. It is possible that he was neglected at home. Also, he was bullied 由 James Potter and Sirius Black from the moment he started attending the school. Taking the bullying to far once, Sirius almost led Snape to a certain death. Sirius told Snape about the hidden passageway under the Whomping Willow, which led to the Shrieking Shack. There Remus Lupin...

5

Harry-ginny VS Edward-bella

posted by emilykuru

Fanfiction:

edward-bella vs harry-ginny

Edward and bella go to a railway station during one rainy 日 in london. They meet harry and ginny there,

( bella is not changed into a vampire yet )

Edward: bella love, close your eyes please!

Bella: why edward?

(thinks to himself)

Edward : just yesterday I had promised her that she was the prettiest one I have ever seen, but here here is ginny who looks so pretty.
And bella should better stay away from harry, 或者 she will ditch me like jake..

( meanwhile harry is using legilimence when edward is busy thinking )

Harry: well, why am I going to eye a crackpot...