You have got to be freaking kidding me.
Alright, so 你 buy a new game, take it home, play it for... God knows how many hours, (o-O) And 你 爱情 it! It has awesome music, game-play, a great story, 或者 maybe even....
None of that at all! :D
But I guarantee it, 你 will run into something that ticks 你 off to no end. Literally ANYTHING is eligible for this list, and oh boy, it won't be pretty. Seriously, I'm warning 你 right now, there will be rage, cussing, tears, panic, fires.....
Possibly even blood.
But without further ado, let'sa go! ^___^
o_____O
#10. Quick-Time Events.
Now, don't get me wrong, these are honestly pretty cool, AT FIRST GLANCE. Yeah, 你 might be looking them up and be all like, "OMG I AM SO 哈哈 XD RIGHT NOW! :D" But....
Let's just say it's so PAINFUL when you're playing a fun game, and then it gives 你 .00001 秒 to react 或者 YOU'LL DIE! And it's not like the game tells 你 this, it always comes out of nowhere and is a guaranteed death, IT SUCKS!
If you're not familiar with these, Quick-Time events are when you're watching an action scene and 你 have to press the button that the game flashes on screen. They give 你 very little time to pull these off correctly and can be a major turn-off for newcomers to the mechanic.
Also, 你 have to admit, what's even the point of these? 你 press a button and everything is done for you, doesn't that seem.... Pointless?
Either way, agree 或者 disagree, these can get REALLY annoying. Just don't let your guard down, and 你 MIGHT be fine. They're also a speed-runners worst nightmare.
The only reason it's so high on this 列表 is because after the first irritating time, they aren't that bad. 你 expect them, and they honestly look pretty cool! So yeah, moving on! :D
(??: What!? He's not mad? ......Hehehe, not for long.......)
#9. Invincibility Frames.... Sort Of.
Now, don't get me wrong, 你 couldn't possibly have BETTER
Then invincibility frames. They basically make 你 invincible for a little while and activates whenever 你 get hit, 或者 sometimes when 你 die. They're put in games to make them 更多 fair, and to give the player a bit of a chance when 你 mess up. But sadly, not every game has this. As a result.....
IT'S CHEAP! UNFAIR AND CHEAP, WHY THE HELL WOULD THEY GET RID OF INVINCIBILITY FRAMES!?
你 COULD GET ABSOLUTELY WOMBO-COMBOED AND RAPED 由 ENEMIES IN A 秒 AND IT'S JUST SO UNFAIR!
And if THAT weren't bad enough, if 你 combine this with knock-back, then DEAR LORD don't play that game.
You'll be sent to 太空 the 秒 你 press the start button. :P
Yeah, it works in games like Mortal Kombat and Super Smash Bros, but in an actual game, it's annoying as hell! In other words, no invincibility frames=PANIC, CHAOS, AND SCREAMING.
In conclusion, having a game with no invincibility frames is a nightmare. 你 get hit way too fast, way too much, and it turns the game into an unpolished mess. Reason this is pretty high? Well, the invincibility frames are in so many games you'll rarely ever see a game without them, so they only make #9 on here.
Moving on! ^___^
(??: What!? How can he stand this so well!? Well, time to bring in the big guns....)
#8. Terrible Music.
Alright, so 音乐 is one of the most important things in a video game. 你 want to make it catchy, somewhat long, and 总体, 整体 nice to listen too.
But in games where the 音乐 is REALLY bad, 你 get s**t like this.......
link
DO 你 REALLY WANT TO PLAY A VIDEO GAME WHEN IT'S RETCHING IN YOUR EARS!? NO!
THE ONLY REASON why this is pretty high on this 列表 is 你 can just put on mute. But still, 你 SHOULDN'T HAVE TO! When I play a game, I want to hear what the game is like! If it's Mario, I want to hear catchy, fun, and upbeat music! If it's Mortal Kombat, I want to hear bad-ass themes in the background!
But when 你 fail something as simple as this, YOU'VE FAILED ON A VAST SCALE.
And another reason why this is so important, ALL GAMES HAVE SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR AWESOME MUSIC! Seriously, I could make a 最佳, 返回页首 1,000 Video Game Songs and I'd STILL have to make some painful cuts!
JUST LISTEN THE POTENTIAL VIDEO GAMES HAVE WITH MUSIC!
link
link
link
See? It's freaking amazing! Plus, terrible 音乐 is a let's players worst nightmare, because they HAVE to listen to it, along with you. And I just so happen to be a let's player!
Wrapping this one up like an angry present, terrible 音乐 is a MAJOR negative. And it's simple why, NOBODY SHOULD EVER have to mute their game just because the game developers screwed up the easiest part of creating a video game. And it doesn't even have to be amazing, just make it TOLERABLE! SERIOUSLY, WTF IS WRONG WITH THE CRAZY BUS MUSIC?!?!?!
Moving on..... >:(
(??: That's 更多 like it Jared..... Build up your rage.... Let it explode! Haha..... HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!)
Did I just hear somebody? ...... Whatever, maybe it's just that god-forsaken Crazy Bus music.
#7. Tons Of Glitches.
Hey, 你 want to know what the most important part of a game is? I'll tell you. :)
TO BE ABLE TO F**KING PLAY IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Basically, glitches are a fault in the programming that the game developers accidentally looked over and it completely ruins ANY game. 你 can fall RIGHT THROUGH platforms, the frame rate can go WAY downhill, the 音乐 can bug out, 你 know what I'm talking about.
And there's not much worse than when you're SO CLOSE to finishing a frustrating boss/level, and the game just flips 你 off and bugs out.
It's almost like the game developers are TRYING to piss 你 off! This RIGHT HERE is the very reason I like it when games are delayed, they have 更多 time to fix the crap nobody wants to see.
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO PLAY A GAME WHERE I FALL RIGHT THROUGH THE FLOOR AND DIE! IT'S F**KING RETARDED!
Kind of like the people who don't bother to fix these......
Mordecai And Rigby: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
In conclusion, the absolute LAST thing 你 want in a game is glitches. It ruins a TON of the fun, pisses of the player in an unfair way, and it makes the game VERY cheap.
Like: "This game was totally not made with 10 dollars in 5 minutes." Cheap.
下一个 number. >:(
#666. That One Overpowered Enemy.
Oh yeah, I went there. We've all played any game, had a fun time, but then...........
DUNDUNDUN!!!!!!!!!!
你 find an enemy/boss SO DAMN OVERPOWERED IT'S NOWHERE NEAR FUNNY.
Often they 移动 very fast, their attacks do tons of damage, they generally have way too much health, and have a billion other absolute BS game-breaking skills.
Some classic examples of this are Shao Kahn from Mortal Kombat, Brawly from DBZ, Blinky from Pac-Man, Sho Minamimoto from The World Ends With You, the Narmer from Etrian Odyssey III: The Drowned City, and Mega Rayquaza in Pokemon OR/AS.
Another reason people hate these so much is HOW MUCH THEY HAVE TO RETRY FIGHTING THEM.
With BS enemies like these, you'll be pushing the reset button like it's a goddamn machine gun! THEY'RE NOT FAIR! Seriously, every single time 你 fight an OP enemy, they're pretty much always better than... Let's say only-
EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING GAME. (Not even censoring that one. D:<)
Also, it's very rare that 你 ACTUALLY get to play as them, therefore making 你 a sitting 鸭 for almost every time 你 stand up against one.
Dropping this subject like a hot potato... Dropped in lava, I can't STAND overpowered enemies/bosses. They're like the hair in the lens of your projector, the wrong number that wakes 你 at 3:00 A.M, the soda bottle that's impossible to open, the parking meter that 到期 while 你 shop, (Oh I've got a billion of them ladies and gentlemen.) 你 get the idea.
They're always unfair to fight against, cheap, ridiculously broken beyond belief, and the damage 你 take from their attacks? OFF OF THE GODDAMN CHARTS!
There 你 go. And yes, these enemies have been around since Pac-Man, I'm dead serious.
MOTHER FU-
#5. Long Load Times.
This also goes into the category of, "You know what makes a game fun? BEING ABLE TO F**KING PLAY IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
Yes people, we've gotten to here. Oh my god.
Here's how it normally goes. 你 select your options, start the game, and.....
And......................
AND...........................................
The load times just never freaking end.
Some offenders of this are Finding Nemo on the GameCube, Sonic The Hedgehog 2006 on PS3 and XBOX 360, and 鸭, 德雷克 Of The 99 龙 on the original XBOX.
I don't even KNOW why they tick us off, they just do! Nothing happens for so long, WE WANT TO PLAY YOUR GAME PEOPLE! NOT WAIT 99 GODDAMN MILLENNIUMS FOR 5 分钟 OF YOUR GAME!
Also, sometimes the load times are downright EVIL. The worst offender of this is Sonic 2006, where they appear ALL OF THE MOTHER F**KING TIME AND LAST AS LONG AS 40 SECONDS......
WHAT THE HELL!??!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?
Some people argue that the long load times don't matter, because they give 你 a forced refreshing break and time to get water, rest your hands, 或者 other BS like that, but here's the problem......
IF I WANT TO TAKE A BREAK, I WILL. I SHOULDN'T HAVE THE GAME FORCE ME TO TAKE ONE, AND AGAIN, IN SOME GAMES, THEY APPEAR ALL OF THE GODDAMN TIME!
Already aiming my Napalm Flamethrower, long load times are the BANE of video games. It's like if 你 were playing a Kirby game, but every-time 你 got a new ability, 你 had to finish a chapter of a Harry Potter book.
Egoraptor: GOD, ISN'T THAT STUPID!? ISN'T THAT ABSOLUTELY RETARDED!? WELL THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN VIDEO GAMES!
Case closed, moving on.
(??: This is going well.... Hahaha, keep on going Jared, have fun living, while 你 can........)
#4. Overwhelming Difficulty.
Let's go back on the topic of the OP enemies/bosses.
Now imagine if that was the entire game.
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SSSSSSS*****************TTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, not very fun now, is it? :)
Examples of this FREAKING NIGHTMARE are Ghosts N Goblins, Castlevania, Ninja Gaiden, and so much 更多 你 honestly have no freaking idea at all that comes even remotely close to guessing how many games are so hard you'd have an easier time breaking 50 boulders with a broken pencil.
Basically, the game is littered with BS moments, and it won't let up. The game can have really strong enemies, it can have little to no power-ups when 你 need them, and can have really short-
WE AREN'T AT THAT PART YET. O_____________O
One of the most painful ways to make a game hard is no continues. This automatically cuts off the players chances of retrying a level 或者 boss infinite times and forces 你 to ALWAYS start back from square one.
In conclusion, 你 should NEVER make a game too hard, unless that's just what 你 want so 你 can piss people off and makes quarters in the arcades out the wazoo. But either way, I think we can all agree that games shouldn't ever 交叉, 十字架 the line difficulty wise, because if they do, then chances are your television's going to be a pile of scrap metal 由 the end of it.
#3. Cheap Enemy Placement AND Bottomless Pits.
WARNINGWARNINGDANGERDANGER: THERE WILL BE UNCONTROLLABLE INSANE RAGE IN THIS ENTRY, BRACE FOR IMPACT!!!!!!!! O_________O
These two. Holy s**t, these two.
Alright, let's just start with cheap enemy placement, so I don't lose my mind and have it sold to Satan.
Cheap enemy placement, in short words, SUCKS SO MUCH!!!!!!!! 你 could be playing any game, blazing through enemies, and then one pops RIGHT THE HELL OUT OF NOWHERE and damages you!
The biggest offenders to this are Sonic Advance 3, The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time, and Kid Chameleon.
Cheap enemy placement is what it is, a terribly placed bad guy that 你 couldn't possibly avoid in time without getting hit, and it's even 更多 of a speed-runners worst nightmare than the quick-time events.
It's also the game's way of saying, "SURPRISE MOTHERF**KER!"
Now, I don't think I need to say WHY it's so annoying again, but I can't POSSIBLY count how many times I'm just doing whatever the hell I'm doing in a game, and then the game throws an unavoidable enemy right at your face, IT'S THE ABSOLUTE CHEAPEST A GAME CAN GET.
And now, bottomless pits.
...
This. THIS. BOTTOMLESS PITS. HOLY SHIT, BOTTOMLESS PITS.
Why do they even exist? I don't even need to explain this at all, but I will.
Bottomless pits are pretty self-explanatory, 你 make one small mistake and 你 DIE. 你 fall down into and endless hole of death and shame and 你 lose a life. And honestly, they aren't even that bad. Yeah, they're definitely annoying, but I've seen worse, 由 far!
So why are they even on this list? Well, the NES.
Bottomless pits in NES games aren't just bad, terrible, 或者 even absolutely insanely frustrating. THEY NEED A NEW WORD FOR HOW FRUSTRATING THEY ARE IN NES GAMES.
Long story short, there's a thing called knock-back in retro games. It involves 你 getting hit, and 你 get knocked backwards.
It's rant time.
Bottomless pits in games like Shovel Knight, Ninja Gaiden, Ghosts N Goblins, Castlevania, TMNT, Mega Man, and much more, ARE SO GODDAMN INFURIATING!!!!!!
ENEMIES ARE EVERYWHERE IN THE CHEAPEST PLACES, AND THEY ALWAYS KNOCK 你 STRAIGHT INTO A BOTTOMLESS PIT! IT'S A GUARANTEED DEATH, IT'S SO CHEAP!
But both of them combined? Bottomless pits AND cheap enemy placement? Dear god.......
When s**t like that is combined, we run to Hell for cover! Here's how the situation normally works.
1. An enemy hits you.
2. Right into a cliff.
3. Game Over.
4. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE BANE OF VIDEO GAMES, 你 COMBINE THE WORST THINGS IMAGINABLE AND GET SHIT LIKE THIS! And Ninja Gaiden is the PERFECT example of this, literally, it's the reason why these are both number 3.
Let's.... Move......
SON OF A B***********CH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(??: Looks like it's finally time.... Hehhehe......)
2. Terrible Controls.
The EVIL MASTERMIND of the category, "You know what makes a game fun? BEING ABLE TO F**KING PLAY IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
It's here, the very dictionary definition of frustrate.
Literally. :D
Terrible controls piss the player off on a brand new scale. Normally, when 你 push a button, what SHOULD happen is whatever the button in the game is set to/supposed to do, IT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!
IT'S SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUS! WHEN I PUSH THE LEFT BUTTON, THEN I SHOULD GO F**KING LEFT! IT'S MOTHER FUCKING ELEMENTARY PEOPLE!!!!!
Terrible controls are just as self-explanatory as 你 think they are. It's when a game is designed terribly and doesn't respond well to the controller at all.
In other words, it's when game developers don't even care about effort at all and decide to make the button inputs SO STIFF AND UNRESPONSIVE, you'd have a 更多 fun time trying to find pieces of ripped up cards all over Mexico.
In conclusion, terrible controls SHOULDN'T EVER be a problem with a game. IT'S SO GODDAMN ANNOYING AND IS A GIANT MIDDLE FINGER TO THE PLAYER!
Moving o-
Kyros: Yes.... The darkness has finally became reality......
Me: Uh, who are you? @___@
Kyros: HAH! Foolish human, I'm your evil alter-ego, I go 由 the name of Kyros.
Me: I have an alter-ego? How is this happening, this doesn't even make sense!
Kyros: Well what do 你 expect, this is Fanpop, NOTHING makes sense!
Me: Got a point there, but this is..... Awkward. :P
Kyros: Hah, when 你 说 terrible controls was the, "Evil Mastermind" 你 REALLY didn't think something like this would happen? And to answer your question, I was born from the darkness in your soul....
Me: Whatever, what the hell do 你 want!?
Kyros: Just finish your 最佳, 返回页首 10, foolish human......
Me: Alright? @____@
Anyways, since we're getting to #1, it's time for a good 老式 recap! ^___^
Kyros: Ugh, this is boring. >:(
Me: #10: Quick-Time Events! Too quick.... o-O
#9: No Invincibility Frames! WOMBO COMBO! :D
#8: Terrible Music! *Insert Crazybus Music*
#7: Tons Of SNOOPINGAS! Er, Glitches!
#666: DAT ONE OP ENEMY DOE.
#5: Loading.... Loading...... Long Load Times!
#4: Overwhelming DifFUCK!!!!!!!!
#3: Cheap Enemy Placement, Bottomless Pits, And Rage!
#2: ErriTlbe noClorts!
And finally.... Number one......
#1. Time Limits.
This is it ladies and gentlemen, the very REASON I made this list. The ultimate buzz-kill, right here in your face.
Time Limits are the most self-explanatory entry on this list, they're when a game forces 你 to complete levels and/or the game in a certain amount of time.
And now, rage time.
There is NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT WILL EVER be worse than time limits. 你 like playing games? It's fun and everything, and 你 like it?
LET'S JUST ADD THIS CLOCK HERE..... >:D
Seriously, I legitimately want to know, WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA!?!?!? I've never wanted to kill someone so badly.....
Except maybe Ryan. :P
Jokes aside, 你 CAN'T POSSIBLY INSULT THE PLAYER 更多 than adding a time limit. It turns the game from: "Explore, defeat evil, and admire the wonderful music, graphics, and game play we made for you! ^___^" To: "HURRY THE HELL UP THE MOTHER FUCKING TIMER IS TICKING 你 GODDAMN BASTARD WHAT ARE 你 DOING!??!? EXPLORE!? HAVE FUN!? WHAT THE FUCK ARE 你 THINKING, 你 WANT TO RUN US OUT OF BUSINESS!?"
Basic idea, Time Limits are the worst goddamn thing ever invented. And the worst part is, THEY'RE MOTHER FUCKING EVERYWHERE! GREAT GAMES LIKE MARIO, SONIC, GAIN GROUND, KID CHAMELEON, CASTLEVANIA, GHOSTS N GOBLINS, NINJA GAIDEN, AND SO MUCH 更多 你 COULDN'T POSSIBLY COME EVEN REMOTELY, PHYSICALLY, 或者 MENTALLY ANYWHERE NEAR ANYTHING POSSIBLY RESEMBLING CLOSE TO GUESSING HOW MANY FREAKING TITLES USE THIS IN THEIR GAMES.
True, sometimes they aren't all that bad in games like Sonic The Hedgehog and some others, but STILL! I DON'T CARE IF THE TIME IS 40 HOURS, 你 SHOULDN'T EVER FORCE THE PLAYER TO HURRY UP WHEN THEY'RE TRYING TO HAVE FUN!!!!!!!
IT PRESSURES THE PLAYER, MAKES THEM PLAY WORSE, AND SLICES ANY FUN THAT WOULD'VE COME FROM THE GAME RIGHT IN HALF.
IT'S LIKE THE MOTHER FUCKING BUBONIC PLAGUE OF VIDEO GAMES! THE CANCER, THE SORE THUMB, THE MICROSCOPIC PIECE OF HAIR IN A HAYSTACK THE SIZE OF EARTH!
If it's one thing I hate 更多 than ANYTHING, it's being rushed. And the fact that so many games that are AMAZING use this is downright EVIL! IT'S A GIANT HUGE 9 TRILLION FOOT QUADRUPLE MIDDLE FINGER TO THE PLAYER, AND IT'S ALWAYS SO IRRITATINGLY ANNOYING YOU'D RATHER DRINK THE ROTTEN FECES DRIPPING OUT OF AN OSTRICHES ASSHOLE AND WASH IT DOWN WITH 50 年 OLD URINE FOUND IN SEWER WATER!
Fuck it, I'm done! I'M FUCKING DONE! THIS IS JARED POTTS SIGNING OUT, AND GOOD RIDDANC-
Kyros: FINALLY! The transformation's complete! And who else to thank than 你 Jared?
Me: Wait what? @_@
Kyros: Your rage fuels me, and now I'm so strong, I'm nearly immortal! Do 你 even realize what you've done, pathetic human!? Now, I CAN DESTROY EARTH ONCE AND FOR ALL!
Me: But all I did wa-
Kyros: SILENCE! The weak shall PERISH! Such is the code.....
Kyros: OF THE UNDERNET! AND NOBODY IS GOING TO STOP ME, BWAHHAAHAH!
Me: Oh no, what have I DONE!? I NEED TO STOP THIS!
*Ground Shakes*
Me: Wait, THAT'S IT! ALL THE ENTRIES ON THIS LIST, THEY JUST FUELED HIM! MY RAGE FOR THESE ENTRIES HAVE FORMED HIS DARK SOUL, AND I NEED TO STOP HIM!
Kyros: What are 你 babbling about FOOL!?
Me: THEY PISS EVERYONE OFF! THEY FAIL ON EVERY CATEGORY! I HAVE TO DESTROY ALL THE ENTRIES ON THIS LIST!
Kyros: Hah, he's probably whining... SAY HELLO TO HELL FOR ME, SAYONARA SUCKER!
Me: THIS IS FOR THE QUICKTIME EVENTS! *Breaks*
Kyros: Wait, what are 你 doing!?
Me: THIS IS FOR NO INVINCIBILITY FRAMES! AND TERRIBLE MUSIC! *Breaks*
Kyros: *Power Fading* No, STOP!
Me: THIS IS FOR ALL THE GLITCHES, AND THE OVERPOWERED ENEMIES, AND THE BULLSHIT LOAD TIMES! *Breaks*
Kyros: NO! S-STOP, PLEASE!
Me: THIS ONE'S FOR ALL THE GAMES THAT WERE TOO HARD! AND THE BOTTOMLESS PITS, CHEAP ENEMY PLACEMENT, AND BAD CONTROLS! *Breaks*
Kyros: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: And this one......
Kyros: o-O
Me: IS FOR THE TIME LIMITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Giant Explosion*
*5 分钟 Later*
Me: Ow, my head....
Me: Wait a minute, what happened?
Fanpop: Publishing article.....
Me: Oh yeah, Kyros is gone! YEAH! ^___^
Me: I guess now everything's exactly the way it should be. :)
Fanpop: Still publishing......
Me: Well that was a long article, I'll give it some time. :)
Fanpop: Still publishing......
Fanpop: Yet still publishing.....
Me: o-O
Fanpop: STILL MOTHER FUCKING PUBLISHING.....
Me: O-O
Fanpop: Done! ^___^
Me: *Sigh* :)
Well, I hope 你 liked my list! There was some good, some bad, some really bad, SOME GOD-AWFUL LEVELS OF BAD, but in conclusion, this was a fun 列表 to make. I got to talk about all the major things I hated, and never wanted to see again, and it was fun!
Thanks for 阅读 my article, and this is Jared Potts saying.......
Fanpop: 下载 article, page, AND A WHOLE LOT OF OTHER BULLSHIT. :D
Me: AW COME ON!
For the people who were interested, here's the maddest I got making this list.
