set a few months after breaking dawn
please tell me how I can improve... I want to write the best story I can
Part 1
Juliet- I walked through the large room rather absentmindedly. I had recently developed a slight interest in medicine and so I had decided to attend a conference. There were enough families there. A teenager wouldn't stick out. I had never really done anything with my life. Maybe I could be a doctor. If I was being honest with myself I would admit that I was just searching for something to ease my guilt. I had never contributed much to the universe. I had potential, not because of any talents but because
I had enough time to perfect a skill set.
I had only been there a few 分钟 when I heard the startled voice "Here's your information packet- oh! Your hand is cold" My head whipped around. I tuned out the smooth voice giving a generic reply. It didn't matter. I could see for myself. Cold, pale skin, beautiful faces, old fashioned speech. Vampires. Three of them. I was dead.
I liked this town. I didn't want to see two, three, four dozen people dead, but I was mostly concerned for myself. Even as my plan formed I could feel tears coming to my eyes not for the people who might die but because I was scared. The plan I had decided on was risky. I would cut someone and the 吸血鬼 would attack them then the chances of some people surviving were pretty high. I knew 吸血鬼 were fast but they had to take time to drink the blood that tempted them. A few people would die so the rest of us could live.
I picked a victim at random: a middle aged woman. As I was pulling my pocketknife out of my messenger bag I felt a cold hand on my arm. Before I could react I was pulled discreetly into a woman's bathroom.
please tell me how I can improve... I want to write the best story I can
Part 1
Juliet- I walked through the large room rather absentmindedly. I had recently developed a slight interest in medicine and so I had decided to attend a conference. There were enough families there. A teenager wouldn't stick out. I had never really done anything with my life. Maybe I could be a doctor. If I was being honest with myself I would admit that I was just searching for something to ease my guilt. I had never contributed much to the universe. I had potential, not because of any talents but because
I had enough time to perfect a skill set.
I had only been there a few 分钟 when I heard the startled voice "Here's your information packet- oh! Your hand is cold" My head whipped around. I tuned out the smooth voice giving a generic reply. It didn't matter. I could see for myself. Cold, pale skin, beautiful faces, old fashioned speech. Vampires. Three of them. I was dead.
I liked this town. I didn't want to see two, three, four dozen people dead, but I was mostly concerned for myself. Even as my plan formed I could feel tears coming to my eyes not for the people who might die but because I was scared. The plan I had decided on was risky. I would cut someone and the 吸血鬼 would attack them then the chances of some people surviving were pretty high. I knew 吸血鬼 were fast but they had to take time to drink the blood that tempted them. A few people would die so the rest of us could live.
I picked a victim at random: a middle aged woman. As I was pulling my pocketknife out of my messenger bag I felt a cold hand on my arm. Before I could react I was pulled discreetly into a woman's bathroom.
