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posted by meeek
"Just in case, man...."

The 日 was long and Emmett was bored. Nothing seemed to be interesting for him...not even a vampiric game of football seemed amazing. As he walked through the Cullen house, he decided to log into his computer. As he searced through the internet, a 问题 made him stop: "Who could win? 超人 或者 Emmett Cullen?"

This was weird.

Emmett knew who 超人 was, but never made much of an attempt to read them after he had barracaded and held secret explosives and traps through-out the entire Cullen household after watching the Saw Series...and because the rest of the Cullen family made sure he never touched a comic book.

But of course, Emmett knew better.

Emmett searched a bookstore holding comics of Superman, in the internet, and ran out of the house, keeping his mind busy on something else for Edward not to become suspicious.

Emmett's mind as he was making his escape: "LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!! 你 CAN 'T HEAR ME EDWARD! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!!! BUCKLE UP! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!!"

As Emmett walked through the comicbook store, he saw the entire series of 超人 and bought it. It only ranged to almost a million dollars, nothing in the Cullen world of economics.

Emmett drove to a nearby 星巴克 and sat down with a good hundred comic 图书 around him. He flashed through them and then brought 更多 to read. After a few hours and 阅读 and re-reading the entire 超人 series, Emmett rushed to the house.

Emmett's mind as he made his stealthy and sneaky entrance to his room: "LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! I DID NOT BUY ANY 超人 COMIC BOOKS! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA AL LA! DAMN-IT EDWARD, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! JUST READ YOUR "POSITIONS 1-100 BOOK!!!!!!"

Emmett ran to his computer, after hiding his new comicbooks, and looked for kryptonite. He found the store, bought an airline ticket, went to that store, bought the stone, bought another airline ticket, and drove home. When he reached the Cullen home, Edward and Rosalie were there waiting for him.

Edward: "What's that on your neck?"
Emmett: "Kryptonite..."
Rosalie: "What have we told you?!"
Emmett: "I'm sorry!!!!!!!"
Edward: "Why did 你 buy this?"
Emmett: "Just in case, man....just in case...."
Rosalie: "You're dead....And guess what? NOSEXFORYOU!"
Emmett: "WHAT?!?!?! BUT---BUT---!!!!"

Edward snickered at this.

Emmett: "Don't 你 snicker at me mister "i-have-to-read-in-order-to-please-my-clingy-newlywed!!!!"
Edward: "!!!!!!!!!!! Take that back!!!!!!!"
Emmett: "Never! I'll pwn 你 before 超人 comes and gets me!"



Credit to: miyutamaki link
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