Esme: So Carlisle, hunnybunchsugarpiebubblegumyumyumbabyhuggybear,
as I was saying, i really think that Rosalie should dye her hair red.

Carlisle: And why is that Esme, myonetruelovesentfromheaventosavemefromthepitsofhellinearth?

Esme: Cz i 说 so. *holds knife*

Carlisle:Okay...........

Bella: *sits between them* i thought 你 couldn't kill a vampire with a knife.

Esme: *hides knife* what knife? do 你 see any knives here muffincakes? *glares at muffincakes, ahem, Carlisle*

Bella: you're very forgetful Esme. The one 你 hid just now, silly silly Esme *shakes head. Look! Edward's gracefully skipping to me while holding a huge expensive bouquet of red 玫瑰 while calling my name in his velvety beautiful voice! Ohhh Eddiepuss!!!

Edward: The 爱情 of my life, 你 are so beautiful.

Esme: *whispers at Carlisle* Rosalie will dye her hair red.

Carlisle: *nods slightly, took Esme's hand and skipped up to bedroom*

Emmett: I did not just see that happen. *dissapears*

Edward: The 爱情 of my life, 你 smell good.

Bella: *blushes*

Edward: The 爱情 of my life, 你 are blushing! YEAAYYY!! *does the happy dance*



CUE 70s MUSIC

音乐 stops.



James: *squeaky voice* *attacks Edward* Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! Wait, ur middle name's Anthony? *bursts laughing*

Alice & Jasper & Rosalie & Emmett: *rofling*

James: So anyways, ahem *squeaky voice* WHERE ARE MY COOKIES???!!!

Bella: SPUNK RANSOM!

James: *sighs loudly* No, not yet brown haired woman who ANTHONY *Edward rolls eyes* here adores so much yet 你 are so plain. NOW 你 RUINED THE MOMENT! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!

Jessica: Wow, shmexxyyy.. *chases James*

Bella: Auw, I ruined his moment. *cries in dark corner*

Edward: No no my beautiful but clumsy and plain Bella! 你 didn't mean to! Everyone loves the video!

Alice: I didnt 偷了 James' cookies!!

Jasper: Of course 你 didn't, love. Of course. *pats back*

Alice: *purrs*

Jasper: 你 like that? My wittle dawling wikes that?

Alice: *pants, tongue hanging out*

Jasper: 红豆杉 weally2 wike that?

Alice: Ribbit

Jasper: Euw I hate frogs. KILL THE FROG!

Alice: AAHHH ITS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Emmett: Too late, he already stepped on you. you're dead.

Alice: Oh. *dies*

Bella: 吸血鬼 cant die like that, right eddy-weddy?

Jasper: They can too!!

Bella: Na-uhhh!!

Jasper: ya-hhuhhh!!

Bella: Na-uhh!!!!

Jasper: YEAH HUUUUUUHHH!!!

Bella: Na- uhhhhhhhhhh

Jasper: Yeaaaaaahuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Bella: na-uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Jasper: YEAH HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Bella: NA-

Rosalie: 你 are plain AND annoying! and im prettier than 你 but edward still prefers you!

Emmett: Hell-ooo... hubby here?

Rosalie: 你 only want me cz i fix cars.

Emmett: uhhh... no?

Edward: she's right.

Emmett: OMG STF WTH BBQ ROFL 哈哈 WE EC IGAH!!!

Jasper: IGAH?

Emmett: irritable grizzlies are hot, duh.

Bella: yeah, DUH Jasper.

Carlisle & Esme: *grins to each other, walking down the stairs* What??? We werent *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP*

Edward: euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw euw

Jasper: nononnonononononononononononononononononnononnonononono
nononononononononononononnononnononononononononono
nononononononono


Bella: 嘿 Emmett, wanna get ice cream?

Rosalie: He doesnt eat ice cream.

Emmett: So? We have lots of money. lets go Bella!!

Bella: To the vamp mobil!!



Credit to: vampiresandvirgos link