Claudia in TOTBT?

Pg. 88 : "I had companions for myself who could never really be companions. (Gabrielle to Louis.)."
下一个 P: "Only Claudia had been the exception.....Yes, she had been the only one who had been like me, really."
下一个 P: "How I loved him (David) and how deep had been my emptiness when Claudia had turned against me, and was my companion no more."

P. 435 (last page):
"She was no longer the real memories. She had become those fever dreams ..... If life she had never been my conscience!"
下一个 P: "There had been an opportunity for salvation - and I had 说 no."
下一个 P: "I wanted to say something to the being she had been, and to my own weakness, and to the greedy wicked being in me who had once again triumphed."

So...what I get from those is this: He was lonely for companionship. He felt the being inside of him which needed to survive..was grotesque, and therefore was seeing Claudia as his "conscience". He had forced it upon every one of his companions, and none of them stuck...so he feels it was his fault. No one needed him.