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posted by Dearheart
 I became shallow and empty; 更多 concerned about my outward appearance than my inward beauty.
I became shallow and empty; more concerned about my outward appearance than my inward beauty.
Greetings, friend of Narnia, and thank 你 for coming to hear my story. I know people are anxious to know what happened to me; so I have decided to make an attempt at tying up all the loose ends for you. (And please pardon me if it’s a little rough. I wrote all this in a bit of a rush.)

My name is Susan Carmichael, though 你 probably know me as Susan Pevensie. But I’m happily married now, to a wonderful man that even my over-protective brothers would approve of...if they were here. We already have one beautiful daughter, who’s three years old, and another little one on the way. I am happy and satisfied with the life I have...and in case 你 are wondering, yes. I am still homesick for Narnia. But I can 熊 it now. I am at peace and content to wait here, in my world, until Aslan sees fit to call me Home. I now know His name in our world...and knowing that He is near me, even here, is a great comfort to me.

I wasn’t always this happy, though. I suppose 你 remember how my siblings and I once reigned as kings and queens, during the Golden Age of Narnia...and then how we went back a 秒 time to aid Prince Caspian in the fight to win back his throne. It was the last time, for Peter and I. Aslan 说 we could never go back to Narnia. That was the first blow to me. It felt like He had banished me, rejected me...when really, He was commissioning me to see that my world has a Deeper Magic of its own; and to take the experience I had gained in Narnia and put it to use here, in the world I first belonged to. But I didn’t see it that way. It hurt terribly whenever I thought of it...of where and what I could never return to.

And so I buried my memories, locked them away; and for a long time I was lost, distracted 由 the materials and trappings of the world. I refused to remember. Aslan had turned His back on me, 或者 so I thought...so I turned my back on Him. I rejected Narnia and drifted further and further away from my family and friends. Despite how horrible I was to them, they still tried to include me and draw me back. Once 或者 twice they would drop hints, 或者 try and discuss Narnia with me. But I always laughed, dismissing it as mere child’s play we used to share, and scorned them for holding on to such foolish fantasies at their age. I became shallow and empty; 更多 concerned about my outward appearance than my inward beauty. I attended parties and social gatherings 更多 often than I went to church. Everything was going in a downward spiral.

If only I could turn back the clock and take back all the horrible things I 说 to Peter, and Edmund...and dear Lucy. If I could only see them again, I’d know what to say. Two words. “I’m sorry.”

But anyway, when the train crash happened...that was the 秒 blow. When I finally got over the shock and disbelief, I became blind and angry. Angry with everyone and everything for letting all the people I cared most about just...die. All the tattered shreds of Gentleness I had managed to hold on to during those years were gone. My smile became nothing 更多 than a painted mask to hide behind. I stopped going to church altogether. After all, I reasoned, how could there be a God when there is so much pain and suffering and horror in the world?

A 年 later, I met Warren Carmichael. (And as it turns out, we'd actually met before...but that's another story.) He was a true friend to me. Even when I hurt his feelings, he wouldn’t give up on me. His friendship, his 爱情 towards me, was unconditional. He treated me like I was truly worth something, and that spoke volumes to me. He was so different from all the other men I had flirted with at all the parties and social events. There was a quiet compassion in his eyes, and joy in his face...and I remembered how I used to have that.

And I wanted to have it again.

Warren reached out to me and helped me to find the way back. He helped me find Aslan’s name and become again the gentle woman of virtue and grace I was meant to be. My painted mask was gone, replaced with the genuine, gracious smile I had always possessed. 由 the Lion’s grace, and thanks to Warren and many others, my wounds were healed. Later I told him about Narnia and amazingly, he chose to believe me. As time went on, friendship became deeper. Bonds grew stronger. And finally, he asked me to marry him.

I can see everything so much clearer now. Once a 皇后乐队 in Narnia, always a 皇后乐队 in Narnia. Though I’m content and proud to be Susan Carmichael, I can hold my head high and take joy in knowing that I am also Susan the Gentle, once and always a 皇后乐队 of Narnia...and nothing can change that.

And now 你 know the answer to the 问题 that every friend of Narnia has asked: “Whatever happened to Susan?”
 I am Susan the Gentle, once and always a 皇后乐队 of Narnia...and nothing can change that.
I am Susan the Gentle, once and always a Queen of Narnia...and nothing can change that.
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