The cast for this story is all Sonic characters, with the exception of Jack Nicholson, and Erik Estrada playing as two of the characters. I promise 你 guys will like Shadow's character, as well as the entire 粉丝 fiction.
Song (Start at 0:46): link
SeanTheHedgehog Presents
A Sonic The Hedgehog 粉丝 Fiction
Bad Auditions 由 Bad Actors
Starring Sally Acorn as the Casting Director
Silver The Hedgehog as Roger
Amy Rose as Melissa
Sonic as Melissa's 表演 Coach
Shadow as Joe
Rouge as Josie
Mina as Maria
1970's Jack Nicholson as Martin
Bunnie Rabbot as Catherine
1970's Erik Estrada as Mark
Vanilla as Charlize
Vector, Espio, & Charmy as Charlize's Agents
Sean The Hedgehog as Josh
And Blaze The Cat as Amy
One 日 at a building for plays.
Joe: *Parks his Chrysler in the parking lot*
Coach: *Parks his Escalade* Okay Melissa. Are 你 ready?
Melissa: 你 bet.
Coach: Now I want 你 to take a deep breath. As soon as you're ready. We'll go inside.
Josh: *Driving a Sierra towards the entrance of the parking lot*
Maria: *Drifts her Toyota in front of Josh's truck*
Josh: *Stops, while honking his horn* Hey!!
Maria: *Looks back at Josh*
Josh: 你 could have caused an accident!!
Inside the building
Roger: *On his phone, texting Amy. He is sitting on a chair leaning onto a wall, on the stage*
Casting Director: *Walks onto the stage, talking to someone on the phone* Well don't worry. 你 can trust me. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. No, no, no, 由 the end of the day, we'll be completely cast. *Sees Roger* Excuse me. Can I call 你 back? *Hangs up, and puts her phone in her pocket* ROGER!!!!
Roger: *Stands up putting his hands into the air* I DIDN'T DO IT!!
Casting Director: What are 你 doing?!
Roger: *Sweating* Texting my girlfriend... about... pizza?
Casting Director: Is that what you're supposed to be doing?
Roger: *Scared, as he closes his eyes, shaking* God I hope so.
Casting Director: It isn't! You're supposed to set up the 表 and chairs, and get the stage set up, so that we can have the actors come in to audition for the play.
Roger: Oh. *Goes to a door, opens it, and sees the actors waiting while talking to each other. He closes the door, and looks at the Casting Director* They're here.
Casting Director: What do 你 mean they're here?
Roger: I mean, they're here.
Casting Director: They're not supposed to be here yet.
Roger: But 你 told me to have them come in at 1.
Casting Director: No! We get here at 1, and they get here at 1:30!
Roger: Okay. We're just going to have to chalk this one up as a miscommunication. *Sits back down, and continues texting Amy*
Casting Director: Roger!!!
Roger: Yes? *Stands up*
Casting Director: Set everything up already!!
Roger: Okay. *Drags his chair to the other side of the stage* I don't see what the big deal is.
Casting Director: The big deal is that Avery Stern, artistic director of The Red 谷仓 Theater, a legend, has put me in charge of this year's production, of Romeo & Juliet. God help me Roger, if your laziness, and stupid phone mess this up for me-
Roger: First of all. *Gets another chair, walking towards the one he was sitting in* The Red 谷仓 Theater is not a legend. *Puts the chair 下一个 to his, and goes to get the table* It's one of three theaters in Hoxley, and 由 far, the worst. Second, Avery Stern is nuts, not artistic. *Grabs the table, and walks towards the chairs* Third, the Red 谷仓 Theater has put on a play of Romeo & Juliet every year, for 40 years. It's actor proof. Just find two decent actors, and you're fine. *Puts the 表 in front of the chairs* Finally. *Pulls out his phone* This is not stupid. It's smart. That's why it's called a smartphone. It can get 你 dressed, brush your teeth, and cook your breakfast, all while playing Angry Birds.
Casting Director: Just bring in the first actor.
Roger: *Salutes* Yes ma'am!! *Goes to the actors*
Casting Director: *Sits in her chair, calling Avery* Yes, it's me again. We're starting auditions now. I can assure you, everything will be set up ahead of schedule.
Roger returned from talking to the actors.
Roger: Okay. *Sits down 下一个 to the Casting Director* I told them to come in one 由 one.
Casting Director: Good. 你 can read the lines when necessary, right?
Roger: Of course.
Melissa: *Walks in with her 表演 coach*
Coach: Good pace. Nice and casual, now go in for the handshake.
Melissa: *Shakes the Casting Director's hand* Hi. My name is Melissa. I'm here to audition for the part of Juliet.
Coach: A little forceful, but keep going.
Casting Director: I'm sorry, who are you?
Coach: I'm Melissa's 表演 coach. Here for moral support, but ignore me.
Casting Director: I don't usually allow other people in here while the actors are auditioning, but I guess I can allow 你 in here.
Coach: 你 won't even know I'm here. *Stands behind Roger, and the Casting Director*
Casting Director: Will 你 be doing a monologue, 或者 a scene?
Melissa: A monologue. I memorized it last night.
Coach: Good self compliment. A little braggy, but, I don't think they noticed.
Casting Director: Okay uh.. 你 can start whenever you're ready Melissa.
Melissa: Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou-
Coach: Don't start until you're ready Melissa. They'll wait. That felt a little rushed. Start over.
Melissa: Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo.
Coach: Good intensity. Keep going.
Melissa: Deny thy father, and refuse thy name!
Coach: Projection Melissa!!
Melissa: *Shouts slower* DENY THY FATHER, AND REFUSE THY NAME!!!!
Coach: I'm missing your consonants! DE-NY!! DE-NY!!
Melissa: DE-NY THY FATHER, AND RE-FUSE THY NAME!!!
Coach: *Thumbs up* There we go!
Casting Director: I'm sorry, can 你 wait outside? I can't get a good read from Melissa.
Coach: I know. She's just a little nervous.
Casting Director: I mean, I can't get a good read from her with 你 here interrupting her.
Coach: Oh.. I can scale back my notes.
Casting Director: I think 你 better leave.
Coach: Oh. Okay. This is, as they say, the house of the director. I'll leave it to 你 in your hands.
Before leaving, he went to Melissa.
Coach: I'll be waiting for 你 outside if 你 need me. Remember, voice, eye contact, and objectives.
Melissa: I'll remember.
Coach: Remem-ber. Hit the ends of every word.
Melissa: Yes. I wi-ll.
Coach: *Nods, and leaves*
Melissa: From the top?
Casting Director: Yes, and may I give 你 some advice? Forget everything your coach told you. Just be yourself, and have fun.
Melissa: What do 你 mean?
Casting Director: Don't worry about getting every word perfect. Just read the scene the way 你 would normally do it. Okay?
Melissa: Oh. Okay. *Breathes in* Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou-
The noise of a cellphone went off.
Casting Director: Roger, I thought I told 你 to turn your phone off.
Melissa: *Grabs her phone* No, that was me. *Gets another text, and reads it* Okay, I'm ready to begin, now.
Casting Director: Was that your coach?
Melissa: No, that was from my, uh.. Boctor, it was from him. I mean Doctor.
Casting Director: Okay. Thank 你 for coming in.
Melissa: Thank 你 for seeing me. *Gets another text* I mean, thank y-ou. Thank y-ou. *Leaves*
The 下一个 actor to come onto the stage was Joe.
Casting Director: Hi. Thanks for coming in.
Joe: Hi. My name is Joe. Joe Romano. I'm here to read the thing I picked up outside with the lines.
Casting Director: That's called the audition scene.
Joe: Right. The one that says Romeo. I'm going to read that, because I saw the one that 说 Juliet, and I was like, not this guy. I'm not a Juliet.
Casting Director: Of course not. You'll be 阅读 with Roger. He'll do the part of Juliet.
Joe: *Backs up, surprised* Whoa whoa whoa! You're going to read a lady's part? That's so stupid.
Casting Director: Can 你 just read the lines?
Joe: Okay, but uh, *Looks at Roger* Good luck buddy, because right now, you'll need it.
Casting Director: Start where it says My sweet.
Joe: Okay. Give me a moment. *Turns around, pounding his chest, and does five jumping jacks. He turns around, and looks at Roger again*
Roger: Romeo-
Joe: *Slams his foot on the ground* MY SWEET!!!
Roger: *Scared* What o clock tomorrow shall I send to thee?
Joe: *Picks up Roger* 由 THE 小时 OF 9!!! FRIGGIN' 9!!! OKAY?!!?!
Casting Director: Okay, I'm just going to stop 你 right there.
Joe: *Calms down, lowering Roger*
Roger: *Quickly gets back to his seat*
Joe: I was just about to get to the good stuff.
Casting Director: I feel like we're going down the wrong road here.
Joe: *Angry* Excuse me?
Casting Director: You're playing this scene with a lot of anger.
Joe: And?
Casting Director: This is the balcony scene. This is where Romeo declares his 爱情 for Juliet. It should be passionate.
Joe: Yeah, passionate. Like, I 爱情 你 so much, I wanna 冲床 a wall!!
Casting Director: I don't think Romeo will 冲床 a wall.
Joe: I know that when I'm in love, I'm like, I 爱情 你 so much, LET'S DO PUSH-UPS!!!! *Does three push-ups, and quickly stands up*
Casting Director:....Well, thank 你 for coming in.
Joe: You're welcome. Do I get the part?
Casting Director: Stop 由 tomorrow at 11, and we'll let 你 know. One 更多 thing, I might suggest 你 go into therapy.
Joe: Therapy? Not this guy. *Points at himself with a thumb* Not this guy!!! *Leaves*
Josie walked up towards Roger, and the Casting Director.
Casting Director: Hi. Thank 你 for coming in.
Josie: Thank me? You, thank you.
Casting Director: Okay, so, will 你 be doing a monologue, 或者 a scene?
Josie: A monotogue?
Casting Director: Do 你 mean, monologue?
Josie: Yeah.
Casting Director: Great.
Josie: But soft, what light in the window, there, Romeo. I 爱情 you, we should kiss, and, that's all I have.
Casting Director: That was supposed to be a monologue?
Josie: Yes ma'am. That's it. Right?
Casting Director: No it's not. 你 know that. Don't you?
Josie: It was really long, but if y'all cast me, I'll memorize it. All of the lines, and stuff.
Casting Director: Will you?
Josie: Y'all better believe it. I'm a southern girl.
Casting Director: Well, thanks for coming in.
Josie: *Walks towards Roger* So I'm gonna be in it, right? *Puts her boobs in Roger's face as she looks at the Casting Director* I'm gonna be the uh, main girl?
Roger: Yes! Totally!
Casting Director: I'll let 你 know.
Josie: Great. *Pulls out a contact card* This here has my number. Call me when I get the part. *Leaves*
Roger: *Takes the card* She was great.
Casting Director: Are 你 serious? She was pathetic, and this 日 hasn't been going well for us at all. Can it get any worse?
Roger: I don't know.
Casting Director: 耶稣 Roger. Can 你 at least pretend to care?
Roger: No.
Maria entered the stage, looking very cheerful as she approached Roger, and the Casting Director.
Maria: Hi, my name is Maria McConville. Thank 你 for seeing me.
Casting Director: Thank 你 for coming in. Will 你 be doing a monologue, 或者 a scene?
Maria: A monologue, if that's okay with you.
Casting Director: It is. 你 can begin when you're ready.
Maria: *Puts her hands in her pockets* Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father, and refuse thy name.
Casting Director: Great work so far. I want 你 to keep going, but I have a suggestion.
Maria: Yes?
Casting Director: Your hands in your pockets are distracting.
Maria: They are?
Casting Director: Yes. It makes 你 seem very stiff.
Maria: Oh, it's just that, I never know what to do with my hands.
Casting Director: Do what 你 do naturally.
Maria: Naturally?
Casting Director: *Nods*
Maria: Okay. *Takes her hands out of her pockets, but starts spinning her arms around in circles* Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father, and refuse thy name.
Casting Director: What is this?
Maria: Well. *Stops her arms* 你 told me to do what I do naturally. That's what I do when I talk to boys, so...
Casting Director: It is?
Maria: Yeah. What do 你 do?
Casting Director: Not that. I don't know anyone who does that, except for maybe, an insane person. Try something else.
Maria: Like what?
Casting Director: Something else. Anything that does not include your hands in your pockets, 或者 your arms going around in circles. Do something 更多 natural.
Maria: Okay. *Her right hand slowly moves towards her head* Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo? *Moves her left hand slowly up, and down, rubbing her belly* Deny thy father, and refuse thy name.
Casting Director: This is definitely different.
Maria: It's 更多 natural. Right?
Casting Director: Yeah, okay, thanks for coming in.
Maria: Thank 你 for seeing me. *Walks away, feeling very pleased with herself*
Martin arrives, dressed in the costume Romeo wore in the 1968 film, Romeo & Juliet.
Casting Director: Wow. Nice costume.
Martin: Forsooth, these simple garments for which 你 surmise have no mood 或者 color to them. They are neither cheerful, nor melancholy as thus doth proclaim.
Roger: What did he say?
Casting Director: I think what we have here is a method actor. He stays in character all of the time, and thinks that the play is real life.
Martin: Alas! A man of the stage I cannot claim to be. Character one may find in these meek, and feeble bones, but-
Casting Director: I don't care. Look, if 你 want to be in this play, 你 need to read either a monologue, 或者 a scene. Do 你 have either prepared?
Martin: *Annoyed* I must protest once more, for thou speech, and manor of dress is most vexing, and as such, mine ear do find ye most intolerable.
Casting Director: Fine. Would thou kind squire, readest thus scene, or, long winded passage so that thou can be in thus play?
Martin: But I have told 你 anon, an actor I am not. I am Romeo of the house of Montague. A man of many talents, but a performer of the stage, I am not.
Casting Director: This isn't helping. Either do a monologue, 或者 a scene, 或者 你 will not be cast. Okay?
Martin: *Turns around to think, then turns around again to face the C.D, and Roger* Very well. Mine hand is played. I shall read your words. Perhaps with a partner. I fear alone, I may stray from lofty expectations.
Casting Director: A scene then. Great. You'll be 阅读 with Roger. He'll be your Juliet.
Roger: *Walks towards Martin*
Martin: *Drops to his knees, grabbing Juliet's hand* This before my eyes is Juliet?! *Stands up*
Roger: Uh, what's going on here?!
Martin: Sweet Juliet! What have thou done to thee? Thou hair is short, and coarse. Thine face is rough, and weathered. Thine smell is of feet, and horse.
Roger: I don't smell like a horse!!
Martin: *Points at him* And thou speakest like a harlot of Devonshire!
Casting Director: *Gets between them* Okay! *Looks at Martin* I'm glad you're so committed to this, but it's definitely not helping 你 get the part.
Martin: *Takes one step backwards* This is a fallacy. Thine has taken my beloved Juliet, and turned her thrice into a beast. A wretched, odorous, fiend.
Roger: Stop making fun of the way I smell!!
Martin: A pox has been cast on thine house. *To Roger* Farewell my love. I shall find 你 again when thou have cleaned thyself of putrid smells. *Walks away*
Roger: I put on deodorant.
Casting Director: 你 smell fine.
Martin: *Opens the door, turning around to face them* A POX!! *Slams the door closed*
Roger: What a jerk.
Catherine crawled onto the stage on all fours. She is dressed as a cat.
Casting Director: Uh, hello. Are you-
Catherine: Meow.
Casting Director: Excuse me?
Catherine: Meow. *Stretching*
Roger: Is this a method actor too?
Casting Director: I don't know what she's doing. *Stands up, and walks to Catherine* Excuse me miss.
Catherine: *Tries to scratch the C.D* Hisssssssss!!!
Casting Director: *Backs up, saving herself from getting scratched* Okay then.
Catherine: *Goes around in a circle. She stretches once more* Meow. *Sees the C.D* Hiss!!!
Casting Director: *Goes to her seat* Do 你 want to do a monologue, 或者 a-
Catherine: *Rolls over, laying on her back*
Casting Director:.....We have sides if you...
Catherine: *Gives herself a tongue bath, and leaves the stage*
Roger: What the hell was that?
Casting Director: Let's just pretend that never happened.
Roger: That was either the worst audition I've seen, 或者 the best. 你 should really consider her.
Casting Director: Shut up Roger.
Roger: I'm serious! That blew my mind.
Casting Director: *Her head falls on the table*
Mark walks in, holding a water bottle and a yoga mat.
Mark: Hi. Mark McCrossen. I got here a little late from a yoga class. Do 你 mind if I take a 分钟 to warm up?
Casting Director: Okay, but we have other people waiting. Do 你 want us to let someone in while 你 warm up?
Mark: No it's fine. It will only take a minute. *Rolls out his yoga mat, and lays down*
Roger: Do 你 think I can go to the bathroom real quick?
Mark: *On his hands, and knees* Hiya!!!!! Qoooooouuuuuaaaaaaa!!!!!
Casting Director: He 说 it would only be a minute.
Mark: *Cuddles into a ball, and cries*
Casting Director: What?
Mark: *Waving his arms, and legs around*
Casting Director: Oh my god! Roger, call the-
Mark: *Stands up, smiling*
Casting Director: *Speechless*
Mark: i'm ready to begin now.
Casting Director: Okay. That was quiet.
Mark: *Angry* I'M READY, TO BEGIN!!!!!
Roger: That's it, I'm going. *Running to the bathroom*
Casting Director: Uh.....
Mark: *Running around the stage in a circle* I'm ready to begin! I'm ready to begin! I'm ready to begin! I'm ready to begin! I'm re-re-re-re-ready! To be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-begin!! NOW!!!! *Stops, and looks at the C.D.*
Casting Director: Okay Mark, we really need to get started.
Mark: We really need to get started.
Casting Director: Yes, we're running behind.
Mark: Yes, we're running behind.
Casting Director: What are 你 doing?
Mark: What are 你 doing?
Casting Director: I'm not doing a Meisner exercise with you!
Mark: I'm not doing a Meisner exercise with you!
Casting Director: I'm serious.
Mark: I'm serious.
Casting Director: Stop this at once!
Mark: Stop this at- AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, *Runs around in a circle* Merilly we roll along, roll along, roll along, *Slides on his knees* Today!!!! *Stands up* I'm glad that's out of the way. I can't do a good audition without warming up first.
Casting Director: I guess that's understandable, but we're running behind.
Mark: What would 你 like me to do- *Turns left, facing the chairs in front of the stage* Eep eep eep eep eep!
Roger: *Returns from the bathroom* I'm back. What did I-
Mark: Eep eep eep eep eep!
Roger: Never mind.
Mark: *Looks back at the C.D.* Is this the stage where the play will take place?
Casting Director: Yes.
Mark: These acoustics are unacceptable! *Picks up his yoga mat, and water bottle* The high C's are getting drowned out 由 these crappy curtains. Call me when the proper upgrades are made. *Leaves*
A crocodile, chameleon, and bee walk in wearing business suits. Charlize follows them.
Agent 1: *Talking on his cell phone* Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well then we're walking. I want 5%, 或者 we're walking. WALKING!!!!!! 2.5%, and a free hot tub? 你 got yourself a deal. *Hangs up, looks at the Casting Director* My client wants her own dressing room along with her usual salary, 10% of the box office, and a bowl of skittles at every rehearsal.
Charlize: 浓情巧克力 covered skittles.
Agent 2: Are 你 sure? That's a little disgusting.
Charlize: 浓情巧克力 covered skittles, 或者 I walk!
Agent 3: This is not negotiable.
Casting Director: I'm sorry, this is a community theater. No one is getting paid, let alone, a cut of the box office.
Agent 1: Uh, give us a second. *Backs up, and talks to Charlize, and the other agents in a circle*
Neither the Casting Director, 或者 Roger could hear what they were saying, until...
Charlize: I won't!
Agent 2: But if 你 think about it-
Charlize: I won't back down on this. Skittles, 或者 I walk. SKITTLES, OR, I, WALK!!!
The agents turned around to face the C.D. again.
Agent 1: My client will work for half her usual salary, 5% of the box office, but a bowl of 浓情巧克力 covered skittles must be at her door before, and after every rehearsal.
Charlize: It's part of my process.
Casting Director: I'm sorry, have 你 ever worked in a community theater before? There's no money involved.
Agent 1: We're walking!! Walking!! Go, go go!!! *Pushes everyone towards the door*
Charlize: *Turns around* Just FYI, I once dated a man, and his dad hated me, so I totally get this Juliet girl.
Agent 2: It's true. Charlize had abusive parents, and her lifestyle was similar to that of Juliet's.
Charlize: This, is, CRAP!!! *Leaves with Agent 1, and 2*
Agent 3: 你 just made a mistake. Charlize Finegold is going to own this town. *Leaves*
Josh arrived a few 秒 after the others left.
Josh: Hi. My name is Josh.
Casting Director: Hi. Nice to meet you. Did 你 get a copy of the lines?
Josh: Yes. I'd also like to do a monologue.
Casting Director: Good. 你 can start when you're ready.
Josh: Cool. *Goes to the back, and pulls up a chair*
Casting Director: What do 你 need that for?
Josh: You'll see. *Puts the chair in the middle of the stage, sits in it, and pretends to drive a car*
The Casting Director, and Roger started whispering to each other.
Casting Director: what is he doing?
Roger: it looks like he's pantomiming. play along with it for now. *Looks at Josh, no longer whispering* Romeo?
Josh: My sweet, hold on a second. *Pantomimes stopping the car, getting out, and grabbing a backpack while putting it on. Next, he pantomimes climbing the 墙 up to where Juliet is*
Roger: What O' Clock tomorrow shall I send to thee?
Josh: 由 the 小时 of 9.
Casting Director: Okay, let's stop right here. Why does Romeo have a backpack?
Josh: Everyone has a backpack.
Casting Director: No he doesn't.
Josh: Where does he put his water bottle then?
Casting Director: He wouldn't have a water bottle in Victorian England...and, were 你 driving a car?
Josh: Yeah. Isn't this a modern version of Romeo & Juliet, like the one with Leonardo DiCaprio?
Casting Director: No. This is period appropriate. There are no cars, and no backpacks.
Josh: So, I should ride in on a horse.
Casting Director: Don't ride in on anything. You're pantomiming up a storm here, and it's scary.
Josh: So, 你 just want me to read the lines?
Casting Director: Yes.
Josh: Oh. Okay. Why didn't 你 just say so in the first place?
Casting Director: Start from the beginning.
Josh: Okay.
Roger: Romeo.
Josh: My sweet.
Roger: What O' Clock tomorrow shall I send to thee?
Josh: 由 the 小时 of... *Hits a button on his I-Pod that plays a song at high volume*
Song: link
Josh: Juliet!!! Get down!!!! *Turns around to do a 前锋, 期待 roll, pulling out a silver pistol. He fires seven blanks, then turns off the music* Damn! I missed them. *Goes back to Roger* Anyway, 由 the 小时 of 9.
Casting Director: What was that?!
Josh: Do 你 know what a gun is?
Casting Director: Yes I know what a gun is! Why did 你 pull one out like that?!
Josh: Because in the DiCaprio version, everyone had guns. Only, they were called swords. 你 should really look into that, and make sure all of your actors carry 枪 for the play.
Casting Director: Yeah, that "totally" sounds like a good idea for something taking place in the late 1500's. Thank 你 for stopping by.
Josh: You're welcome. *Leaves, feeling pleased with himself*
After Josh left, the Casting Director had a headache.
Casting Director: This has been awful so far. Should we take a 5 分钟 break before seeing the other actors?
Roger: That was the last actor.
Casting Director: It was?! We only saw 9 actors. I was supposed to cast this thing, and now it's ruined.
Roger: *Looking at his phone* My girlfriend just got here. Can I leave early?
Casting Director: No!!
Roger: *Sad* But, we have a 比萨, 比萨饼 date...
Casting Director: I don't care about your 比萨, 比萨饼 date! We're not leaving until we get our two leads! I'm calling Avery! *Calls Avery on her phone*
Roger: 你 know what? I'm going to give her the green light to come see me here since you're busy with whatever it is you're doing at the moment. *Texting Amy*
Casting Director: Avery, I need 更多 audition days. The actors 你 had were borderline psychotic. One of them didn't even read her lines. She just pretended to be a cat.
Amy: *Walks in, and goes to Roger*
Casting Director: I'm not being prejudice. Don't say I'm being prejudice.
Roger *Whispers in Amy's ear*
Casting Director: And I'm not being a perfectionist. If I saw two decent actors with some chemistry, I would hire them on the spot! Only problem is, where to look. *Looks at Roger, and Amy*
Song: link
Amy: *Giggling while sitting on Roger's lap behind the table*
Casting Director: Avery, I'll call 你 back. I think I know how to cast this thing. *Hangs up* Roger, Amy, stand in the middle of the stage, will you?
Roger: Okay.
Amy: What's going on?
Casting Director: *Give scripts to Roger, and Amy* Just read this for me please.
Roger: But, I'm not an actor.
Amy: And I haven't been in a play since middle school.
Casting Director: Please try. Roger, you're the best I've heard with 阅读 these lines, and 你 two have some chemistry going on.
Roger: Alright. Wanna do it?
Amy: Sure.
Song: link
They stood up, and got to the middle of the stage
Amy: Romeo.
Roger: My sweet.
Casting Director: Yes. Yes!
Amy: What O' clock tomorrow shall I send to thee?
Roger: 由 the 小时 of 9. Doth thou agree?
Amy: Uh....
Roger: *Pulls out a gun, and points it at Amy* I need to know!
Amy: *Moves her arms in circles* Well I don't know. I forgot why thou have not called me back.
Casting Director: What are 你 two doing?!!?
Roger: Let me stand here until thou remember it! *Turns to the left* Oh look, 更多 Capulets. I shall smite them with thy, *Pulls out a rocket launcher* Launcher of rockets!! *Fires two rockets. They blow up before hitting the wall*
Amy: Good night! Good night! Parting is such sweet, sw-eet, sor-row.
Roger: 更多 capulets! Into the car! We'll make our escape! Post haste! *Pulls the Casting Director out of her chair, and sits in it, pretending to drive a car*
Amy: *Sits in the chair 下一个 to Roger* Step on it!
Casting Director: That's it! I quit!!
Everything fades to black for the end credits
Cast
Sally Acorn as the Casting Director
Silver The Hedgehog as Roger
Amy Rose as Melissa
Sonic as Melissa's 表演 Coach
Shadow as Joe
Rouge as Josie
Mina as Maria
1970's Jack Nicholson as Martin
Bunnie Rabbot as Catherine
1970's Erik Estrada as Mark
Vanilla as Charlize
Vector, Espio, & Charmy as Charlize's Agents
Sean The Hedgehog as Josh
Blaze The Cat as Amy
The End
This has been a SeanTheHedgehog Production from June 9, 2016
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.
Song (Start at 0:46): link
SeanTheHedgehog Presents
A Sonic The Hedgehog 粉丝 Fiction
Bad Auditions 由 Bad Actors
Starring Sally Acorn as the Casting Director
Silver The Hedgehog as Roger
Amy Rose as Melissa
Sonic as Melissa's 表演 Coach
Shadow as Joe
Rouge as Josie
Mina as Maria
1970's Jack Nicholson as Martin
Bunnie Rabbot as Catherine
1970's Erik Estrada as Mark
Vanilla as Charlize
Vector, Espio, & Charmy as Charlize's Agents
Sean The Hedgehog as Josh
And Blaze The Cat as Amy
One 日 at a building for plays.
Joe: *Parks his Chrysler in the parking lot*
Coach: *Parks his Escalade* Okay Melissa. Are 你 ready?
Melissa: 你 bet.
Coach: Now I want 你 to take a deep breath. As soon as you're ready. We'll go inside.
Josh: *Driving a Sierra towards the entrance of the parking lot*
Maria: *Drifts her Toyota in front of Josh's truck*
Josh: *Stops, while honking his horn* Hey!!
Maria: *Looks back at Josh*
Josh: 你 could have caused an accident!!
Inside the building
Roger: *On his phone, texting Amy. He is sitting on a chair leaning onto a wall, on the stage*
Casting Director: *Walks onto the stage, talking to someone on the phone* Well don't worry. 你 can trust me. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. No, no, no, 由 the end of the day, we'll be completely cast. *Sees Roger* Excuse me. Can I call 你 back? *Hangs up, and puts her phone in her pocket* ROGER!!!!
Roger: *Stands up putting his hands into the air* I DIDN'T DO IT!!
Casting Director: What are 你 doing?!
Roger: *Sweating* Texting my girlfriend... about... pizza?
Casting Director: Is that what you're supposed to be doing?
Roger: *Scared, as he closes his eyes, shaking* God I hope so.
Casting Director: It isn't! You're supposed to set up the 表 and chairs, and get the stage set up, so that we can have the actors come in to audition for the play.
Roger: Oh. *Goes to a door, opens it, and sees the actors waiting while talking to each other. He closes the door, and looks at the Casting Director* They're here.
Casting Director: What do 你 mean they're here?
Roger: I mean, they're here.
Casting Director: They're not supposed to be here yet.
Roger: But 你 told me to have them come in at 1.
Casting Director: No! We get here at 1, and they get here at 1:30!
Roger: Okay. We're just going to have to chalk this one up as a miscommunication. *Sits back down, and continues texting Amy*
Casting Director: Roger!!!
Roger: Yes? *Stands up*
Casting Director: Set everything up already!!
Roger: Okay. *Drags his chair to the other side of the stage* I don't see what the big deal is.
Casting Director: The big deal is that Avery Stern, artistic director of The Red 谷仓 Theater, a legend, has put me in charge of this year's production, of Romeo & Juliet. God help me Roger, if your laziness, and stupid phone mess this up for me-
Roger: First of all. *Gets another chair, walking towards the one he was sitting in* The Red 谷仓 Theater is not a legend. *Puts the chair 下一个 to his, and goes to get the table* It's one of three theaters in Hoxley, and 由 far, the worst. Second, Avery Stern is nuts, not artistic. *Grabs the table, and walks towards the chairs* Third, the Red 谷仓 Theater has put on a play of Romeo & Juliet every year, for 40 years. It's actor proof. Just find two decent actors, and you're fine. *Puts the 表 in front of the chairs* Finally. *Pulls out his phone* This is not stupid. It's smart. That's why it's called a smartphone. It can get 你 dressed, brush your teeth, and cook your breakfast, all while playing Angry Birds.
Casting Director: Just bring in the first actor.
Roger: *Salutes* Yes ma'am!! *Goes to the actors*
Casting Director: *Sits in her chair, calling Avery* Yes, it's me again. We're starting auditions now. I can assure you, everything will be set up ahead of schedule.
Roger returned from talking to the actors.
Roger: Okay. *Sits down 下一个 to the Casting Director* I told them to come in one 由 one.
Casting Director: Good. 你 can read the lines when necessary, right?
Roger: Of course.
Melissa: *Walks in with her 表演 coach*
Coach: Good pace. Nice and casual, now go in for the handshake.
Melissa: *Shakes the Casting Director's hand* Hi. My name is Melissa. I'm here to audition for the part of Juliet.
Coach: A little forceful, but keep going.
Casting Director: I'm sorry, who are you?
Coach: I'm Melissa's 表演 coach. Here for moral support, but ignore me.
Casting Director: I don't usually allow other people in here while the actors are auditioning, but I guess I can allow 你 in here.
Coach: 你 won't even know I'm here. *Stands behind Roger, and the Casting Director*
Casting Director: Will 你 be doing a monologue, 或者 a scene?
Melissa: A monologue. I memorized it last night.
Coach: Good self compliment. A little braggy, but, I don't think they noticed.
Casting Director: Okay uh.. 你 can start whenever you're ready Melissa.
Melissa: Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou-
Coach: Don't start until you're ready Melissa. They'll wait. That felt a little rushed. Start over.
Melissa: Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo.
Coach: Good intensity. Keep going.
Melissa: Deny thy father, and refuse thy name!
Coach: Projection Melissa!!
Melissa: *Shouts slower* DENY THY FATHER, AND REFUSE THY NAME!!!!
Coach: I'm missing your consonants! DE-NY!! DE-NY!!
Melissa: DE-NY THY FATHER, AND RE-FUSE THY NAME!!!
Coach: *Thumbs up* There we go!
Casting Director: I'm sorry, can 你 wait outside? I can't get a good read from Melissa.
Coach: I know. She's just a little nervous.
Casting Director: I mean, I can't get a good read from her with 你 here interrupting her.
Coach: Oh.. I can scale back my notes.
Casting Director: I think 你 better leave.
Coach: Oh. Okay. This is, as they say, the house of the director. I'll leave it to 你 in your hands.
Before leaving, he went to Melissa.
Coach: I'll be waiting for 你 outside if 你 need me. Remember, voice, eye contact, and objectives.
Melissa: I'll remember.
Coach: Remem-ber. Hit the ends of every word.
Melissa: Yes. I wi-ll.
Coach: *Nods, and leaves*
Melissa: From the top?
Casting Director: Yes, and may I give 你 some advice? Forget everything your coach told you. Just be yourself, and have fun.
Melissa: What do 你 mean?
Casting Director: Don't worry about getting every word perfect. Just read the scene the way 你 would normally do it. Okay?
Melissa: Oh. Okay. *Breathes in* Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou-
The noise of a cellphone went off.
Casting Director: Roger, I thought I told 你 to turn your phone off.
Melissa: *Grabs her phone* No, that was me. *Gets another text, and reads it* Okay, I'm ready to begin, now.
Casting Director: Was that your coach?
Melissa: No, that was from my, uh.. Boctor, it was from him. I mean Doctor.
Casting Director: Okay. Thank 你 for coming in.
Melissa: Thank 你 for seeing me. *Gets another text* I mean, thank y-ou. Thank y-ou. *Leaves*
The 下一个 actor to come onto the stage was Joe.
Casting Director: Hi. Thanks for coming in.
Joe: Hi. My name is Joe. Joe Romano. I'm here to read the thing I picked up outside with the lines.
Casting Director: That's called the audition scene.
Joe: Right. The one that says Romeo. I'm going to read that, because I saw the one that 说 Juliet, and I was like, not this guy. I'm not a Juliet.
Casting Director: Of course not. You'll be 阅读 with Roger. He'll do the part of Juliet.
Joe: *Backs up, surprised* Whoa whoa whoa! You're going to read a lady's part? That's so stupid.
Casting Director: Can 你 just read the lines?
Joe: Okay, but uh, *Looks at Roger* Good luck buddy, because right now, you'll need it.
Casting Director: Start where it says My sweet.
Joe: Okay. Give me a moment. *Turns around, pounding his chest, and does five jumping jacks. He turns around, and looks at Roger again*
Roger: Romeo-
Joe: *Slams his foot on the ground* MY SWEET!!!
Roger: *Scared* What o clock tomorrow shall I send to thee?
Joe: *Picks up Roger* 由 THE 小时 OF 9!!! FRIGGIN' 9!!! OKAY?!!?!
Casting Director: Okay, I'm just going to stop 你 right there.
Joe: *Calms down, lowering Roger*
Roger: *Quickly gets back to his seat*
Joe: I was just about to get to the good stuff.
Casting Director: I feel like we're going down the wrong road here.
Joe: *Angry* Excuse me?
Casting Director: You're playing this scene with a lot of anger.
Joe: And?
Casting Director: This is the balcony scene. This is where Romeo declares his 爱情 for Juliet. It should be passionate.
Joe: Yeah, passionate. Like, I 爱情 你 so much, I wanna 冲床 a wall!!
Casting Director: I don't think Romeo will 冲床 a wall.
Joe: I know that when I'm in love, I'm like, I 爱情 你 so much, LET'S DO PUSH-UPS!!!! *Does three push-ups, and quickly stands up*
Casting Director:....Well, thank 你 for coming in.
Joe: You're welcome. Do I get the part?
Casting Director: Stop 由 tomorrow at 11, and we'll let 你 know. One 更多 thing, I might suggest 你 go into therapy.
Joe: Therapy? Not this guy. *Points at himself with a thumb* Not this guy!!! *Leaves*
Josie walked up towards Roger, and the Casting Director.
Casting Director: Hi. Thank 你 for coming in.
Josie: Thank me? You, thank you.
Casting Director: Okay, so, will 你 be doing a monologue, 或者 a scene?
Josie: A monotogue?
Casting Director: Do 你 mean, monologue?
Josie: Yeah.
Casting Director: Great.
Josie: But soft, what light in the window, there, Romeo. I 爱情 you, we should kiss, and, that's all I have.
Casting Director: That was supposed to be a monologue?
Josie: Yes ma'am. That's it. Right?
Casting Director: No it's not. 你 know that. Don't you?
Josie: It was really long, but if y'all cast me, I'll memorize it. All of the lines, and stuff.
Casting Director: Will you?
Josie: Y'all better believe it. I'm a southern girl.
Casting Director: Well, thanks for coming in.
Josie: *Walks towards Roger* So I'm gonna be in it, right? *Puts her boobs in Roger's face as she looks at the Casting Director* I'm gonna be the uh, main girl?
Roger: Yes! Totally!
Casting Director: I'll let 你 know.
Josie: Great. *Pulls out a contact card* This here has my number. Call me when I get the part. *Leaves*
Roger: *Takes the card* She was great.
Casting Director: Are 你 serious? She was pathetic, and this 日 hasn't been going well for us at all. Can it get any worse?
Roger: I don't know.
Casting Director: 耶稣 Roger. Can 你 at least pretend to care?
Roger: No.
Maria entered the stage, looking very cheerful as she approached Roger, and the Casting Director.
Maria: Hi, my name is Maria McConville. Thank 你 for seeing me.
Casting Director: Thank 你 for coming in. Will 你 be doing a monologue, 或者 a scene?
Maria: A monologue, if that's okay with you.
Casting Director: It is. 你 can begin when you're ready.
Maria: *Puts her hands in her pockets* Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father, and refuse thy name.
Casting Director: Great work so far. I want 你 to keep going, but I have a suggestion.
Maria: Yes?
Casting Director: Your hands in your pockets are distracting.
Maria: They are?
Casting Director: Yes. It makes 你 seem very stiff.
Maria: Oh, it's just that, I never know what to do with my hands.
Casting Director: Do what 你 do naturally.
Maria: Naturally?
Casting Director: *Nods*
Maria: Okay. *Takes her hands out of her pockets, but starts spinning her arms around in circles* Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father, and refuse thy name.
Casting Director: What is this?
Maria: Well. *Stops her arms* 你 told me to do what I do naturally. That's what I do when I talk to boys, so...
Casting Director: It is?
Maria: Yeah. What do 你 do?
Casting Director: Not that. I don't know anyone who does that, except for maybe, an insane person. Try something else.
Maria: Like what?
Casting Director: Something else. Anything that does not include your hands in your pockets, 或者 your arms going around in circles. Do something 更多 natural.
Maria: Okay. *Her right hand slowly moves towards her head* Romeo, oh Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo? *Moves her left hand slowly up, and down, rubbing her belly* Deny thy father, and refuse thy name.
Casting Director: This is definitely different.
Maria: It's 更多 natural. Right?
Casting Director: Yeah, okay, thanks for coming in.
Maria: Thank 你 for seeing me. *Walks away, feeling very pleased with herself*
Martin arrives, dressed in the costume Romeo wore in the 1968 film, Romeo & Juliet.
Casting Director: Wow. Nice costume.
Martin: Forsooth, these simple garments for which 你 surmise have no mood 或者 color to them. They are neither cheerful, nor melancholy as thus doth proclaim.
Roger: What did he say?
Casting Director: I think what we have here is a method actor. He stays in character all of the time, and thinks that the play is real life.
Martin: Alas! A man of the stage I cannot claim to be. Character one may find in these meek, and feeble bones, but-
Casting Director: I don't care. Look, if 你 want to be in this play, 你 need to read either a monologue, 或者 a scene. Do 你 have either prepared?
Martin: *Annoyed* I must protest once more, for thou speech, and manor of dress is most vexing, and as such, mine ear do find ye most intolerable.
Casting Director: Fine. Would thou kind squire, readest thus scene, or, long winded passage so that thou can be in thus play?
Martin: But I have told 你 anon, an actor I am not. I am Romeo of the house of Montague. A man of many talents, but a performer of the stage, I am not.
Casting Director: This isn't helping. Either do a monologue, 或者 a scene, 或者 你 will not be cast. Okay?
Martin: *Turns around to think, then turns around again to face the C.D, and Roger* Very well. Mine hand is played. I shall read your words. Perhaps with a partner. I fear alone, I may stray from lofty expectations.
Casting Director: A scene then. Great. You'll be 阅读 with Roger. He'll be your Juliet.
Roger: *Walks towards Martin*
Martin: *Drops to his knees, grabbing Juliet's hand* This before my eyes is Juliet?! *Stands up*
Roger: Uh, what's going on here?!
Martin: Sweet Juliet! What have thou done to thee? Thou hair is short, and coarse. Thine face is rough, and weathered. Thine smell is of feet, and horse.
Roger: I don't smell like a horse!!
Martin: *Points at him* And thou speakest like a harlot of Devonshire!
Casting Director: *Gets between them* Okay! *Looks at Martin* I'm glad you're so committed to this, but it's definitely not helping 你 get the part.
Martin: *Takes one step backwards* This is a fallacy. Thine has taken my beloved Juliet, and turned her thrice into a beast. A wretched, odorous, fiend.
Roger: Stop making fun of the way I smell!!
Martin: A pox has been cast on thine house. *To Roger* Farewell my love. I shall find 你 again when thou have cleaned thyself of putrid smells. *Walks away*
Roger: I put on deodorant.
Casting Director: 你 smell fine.
Martin: *Opens the door, turning around to face them* A POX!! *Slams the door closed*
Roger: What a jerk.
Catherine crawled onto the stage on all fours. She is dressed as a cat.
Casting Director: Uh, hello. Are you-
Catherine: Meow.
Casting Director: Excuse me?
Catherine: Meow. *Stretching*
Roger: Is this a method actor too?
Casting Director: I don't know what she's doing. *Stands up, and walks to Catherine* Excuse me miss.
Catherine: *Tries to scratch the C.D* Hisssssssss!!!
Casting Director: *Backs up, saving herself from getting scratched* Okay then.
Catherine: *Goes around in a circle. She stretches once more* Meow. *Sees the C.D* Hiss!!!
Casting Director: *Goes to her seat* Do 你 want to do a monologue, 或者 a-
Catherine: *Rolls over, laying on her back*
Casting Director:.....We have sides if you...
Catherine: *Gives herself a tongue bath, and leaves the stage*
Roger: What the hell was that?
Casting Director: Let's just pretend that never happened.
Roger: That was either the worst audition I've seen, 或者 the best. 你 should really consider her.
Casting Director: Shut up Roger.
Roger: I'm serious! That blew my mind.
Casting Director: *Her head falls on the table*
Mark walks in, holding a water bottle and a yoga mat.
Mark: Hi. Mark McCrossen. I got here a little late from a yoga class. Do 你 mind if I take a 分钟 to warm up?
Casting Director: Okay, but we have other people waiting. Do 你 want us to let someone in while 你 warm up?
Mark: No it's fine. It will only take a minute. *Rolls out his yoga mat, and lays down*
Roger: Do 你 think I can go to the bathroom real quick?
Mark: *On his hands, and knees* Hiya!!!!! Qoooooouuuuuaaaaaaa!!!!!
Casting Director: He 说 it would only be a minute.
Mark: *Cuddles into a ball, and cries*
Casting Director: What?
Mark: *Waving his arms, and legs around*
Casting Director: Oh my god! Roger, call the-
Mark: *Stands up, smiling*
Casting Director: *Speechless*
Mark: i'm ready to begin now.
Casting Director: Okay. That was quiet.
Mark: *Angry* I'M READY, TO BEGIN!!!!!
Roger: That's it, I'm going. *Running to the bathroom*
Casting Director: Uh.....
Mark: *Running around the stage in a circle* I'm ready to begin! I'm ready to begin! I'm ready to begin! I'm ready to begin! I'm re-re-re-re-ready! To be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-begin!! NOW!!!! *Stops, and looks at the C.D.*
Casting Director: Okay Mark, we really need to get started.
Mark: We really need to get started.
Casting Director: Yes, we're running behind.
Mark: Yes, we're running behind.
Casting Director: What are 你 doing?
Mark: What are 你 doing?
Casting Director: I'm not doing a Meisner exercise with you!
Mark: I'm not doing a Meisner exercise with you!
Casting Director: I'm serious.
Mark: I'm serious.
Casting Director: Stop this at once!
Mark: Stop this at- AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, *Runs around in a circle* Merilly we roll along, roll along, roll along, *Slides on his knees* Today!!!! *Stands up* I'm glad that's out of the way. I can't do a good audition without warming up first.
Casting Director: I guess that's understandable, but we're running behind.
Mark: What would 你 like me to do- *Turns left, facing the chairs in front of the stage* Eep eep eep eep eep!
Roger: *Returns from the bathroom* I'm back. What did I-
Mark: Eep eep eep eep eep!
Roger: Never mind.
Mark: *Looks back at the C.D.* Is this the stage where the play will take place?
Casting Director: Yes.
Mark: These acoustics are unacceptable! *Picks up his yoga mat, and water bottle* The high C's are getting drowned out 由 these crappy curtains. Call me when the proper upgrades are made. *Leaves*
A crocodile, chameleon, and bee walk in wearing business suits. Charlize follows them.
Agent 1: *Talking on his cell phone* Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well then we're walking. I want 5%, 或者 we're walking. WALKING!!!!!! 2.5%, and a free hot tub? 你 got yourself a deal. *Hangs up, looks at the Casting Director* My client wants her own dressing room along with her usual salary, 10% of the box office, and a bowl of skittles at every rehearsal.
Charlize: 浓情巧克力 covered skittles.
Agent 2: Are 你 sure? That's a little disgusting.
Charlize: 浓情巧克力 covered skittles, 或者 I walk!
Agent 3: This is not negotiable.
Casting Director: I'm sorry, this is a community theater. No one is getting paid, let alone, a cut of the box office.
Agent 1: Uh, give us a second. *Backs up, and talks to Charlize, and the other agents in a circle*
Neither the Casting Director, 或者 Roger could hear what they were saying, until...
Charlize: I won't!
Agent 2: But if 你 think about it-
Charlize: I won't back down on this. Skittles, 或者 I walk. SKITTLES, OR, I, WALK!!!
The agents turned around to face the C.D. again.
Agent 1: My client will work for half her usual salary, 5% of the box office, but a bowl of 浓情巧克力 covered skittles must be at her door before, and after every rehearsal.
Charlize: It's part of my process.
Casting Director: I'm sorry, have 你 ever worked in a community theater before? There's no money involved.
Agent 1: We're walking!! Walking!! Go, go go!!! *Pushes everyone towards the door*
Charlize: *Turns around* Just FYI, I once dated a man, and his dad hated me, so I totally get this Juliet girl.
Agent 2: It's true. Charlize had abusive parents, and her lifestyle was similar to that of Juliet's.
Charlize: This, is, CRAP!!! *Leaves with Agent 1, and 2*
Agent 3: 你 just made a mistake. Charlize Finegold is going to own this town. *Leaves*
Josh arrived a few 秒 after the others left.
Josh: Hi. My name is Josh.
Casting Director: Hi. Nice to meet you. Did 你 get a copy of the lines?
Josh: Yes. I'd also like to do a monologue.
Casting Director: Good. 你 can start when you're ready.
Josh: Cool. *Goes to the back, and pulls up a chair*
Casting Director: What do 你 need that for?
Josh: You'll see. *Puts the chair in the middle of the stage, sits in it, and pretends to drive a car*
The Casting Director, and Roger started whispering to each other.
Casting Director: what is he doing?
Roger: it looks like he's pantomiming. play along with it for now. *Looks at Josh, no longer whispering* Romeo?
Josh: My sweet, hold on a second. *Pantomimes stopping the car, getting out, and grabbing a backpack while putting it on. Next, he pantomimes climbing the 墙 up to where Juliet is*
Roger: What O' Clock tomorrow shall I send to thee?
Josh: 由 the 小时 of 9.
Casting Director: Okay, let's stop right here. Why does Romeo have a backpack?
Josh: Everyone has a backpack.
Casting Director: No he doesn't.
Josh: Where does he put his water bottle then?
Casting Director: He wouldn't have a water bottle in Victorian England...and, were 你 driving a car?
Josh: Yeah. Isn't this a modern version of Romeo & Juliet, like the one with Leonardo DiCaprio?
Casting Director: No. This is period appropriate. There are no cars, and no backpacks.
Josh: So, I should ride in on a horse.
Casting Director: Don't ride in on anything. You're pantomiming up a storm here, and it's scary.
Josh: So, 你 just want me to read the lines?
Casting Director: Yes.
Josh: Oh. Okay. Why didn't 你 just say so in the first place?
Casting Director: Start from the beginning.
Josh: Okay.
Roger: Romeo.
Josh: My sweet.
Roger: What O' Clock tomorrow shall I send to thee?
Josh: 由 the 小时 of... *Hits a button on his I-Pod that plays a song at high volume*
Song: link
Josh: Juliet!!! Get down!!!! *Turns around to do a 前锋, 期待 roll, pulling out a silver pistol. He fires seven blanks, then turns off the music* Damn! I missed them. *Goes back to Roger* Anyway, 由 the 小时 of 9.
Casting Director: What was that?!
Josh: Do 你 know what a gun is?
Casting Director: Yes I know what a gun is! Why did 你 pull one out like that?!
Josh: Because in the DiCaprio version, everyone had guns. Only, they were called swords. 你 should really look into that, and make sure all of your actors carry 枪 for the play.
Casting Director: Yeah, that "totally" sounds like a good idea for something taking place in the late 1500's. Thank 你 for stopping by.
Josh: You're welcome. *Leaves, feeling pleased with himself*
After Josh left, the Casting Director had a headache.
Casting Director: This has been awful so far. Should we take a 5 分钟 break before seeing the other actors?
Roger: That was the last actor.
Casting Director: It was?! We only saw 9 actors. I was supposed to cast this thing, and now it's ruined.
Roger: *Looking at his phone* My girlfriend just got here. Can I leave early?
Casting Director: No!!
Roger: *Sad* But, we have a 比萨, 比萨饼 date...
Casting Director: I don't care about your 比萨, 比萨饼 date! We're not leaving until we get our two leads! I'm calling Avery! *Calls Avery on her phone*
Roger: 你 know what? I'm going to give her the green light to come see me here since you're busy with whatever it is you're doing at the moment. *Texting Amy*
Casting Director: Avery, I need 更多 audition days. The actors 你 had were borderline psychotic. One of them didn't even read her lines. She just pretended to be a cat.
Amy: *Walks in, and goes to Roger*
Casting Director: I'm not being prejudice. Don't say I'm being prejudice.
Roger *Whispers in Amy's ear*
Casting Director: And I'm not being a perfectionist. If I saw two decent actors with some chemistry, I would hire them on the spot! Only problem is, where to look. *Looks at Roger, and Amy*
Song: link
Amy: *Giggling while sitting on Roger's lap behind the table*
Casting Director: Avery, I'll call 你 back. I think I know how to cast this thing. *Hangs up* Roger, Amy, stand in the middle of the stage, will you?
Roger: Okay.
Amy: What's going on?
Casting Director: *Give scripts to Roger, and Amy* Just read this for me please.
Roger: But, I'm not an actor.
Amy: And I haven't been in a play since middle school.
Casting Director: Please try. Roger, you're the best I've heard with 阅读 these lines, and 你 two have some chemistry going on.
Roger: Alright. Wanna do it?
Amy: Sure.
Song: link
They stood up, and got to the middle of the stage
Amy: Romeo.
Roger: My sweet.
Casting Director: Yes. Yes!
Amy: What O' clock tomorrow shall I send to thee?
Roger: 由 the 小时 of 9. Doth thou agree?
Amy: Uh....
Roger: *Pulls out a gun, and points it at Amy* I need to know!
Amy: *Moves her arms in circles* Well I don't know. I forgot why thou have not called me back.
Casting Director: What are 你 two doing?!!?
Roger: Let me stand here until thou remember it! *Turns to the left* Oh look, 更多 Capulets. I shall smite them with thy, *Pulls out a rocket launcher* Launcher of rockets!! *Fires two rockets. They blow up before hitting the wall*
Amy: Good night! Good night! Parting is such sweet, sw-eet, sor-row.
Roger: 更多 capulets! Into the car! We'll make our escape! Post haste! *Pulls the Casting Director out of her chair, and sits in it, pretending to drive a car*
Amy: *Sits in the chair 下一个 to Roger* Step on it!
Casting Director: That's it! I quit!!
Everything fades to black for the end credits
Cast
Sally Acorn as the Casting Director
Silver The Hedgehog as Roger
Amy Rose as Melissa
Sonic as Melissa's 表演 Coach
Shadow as Joe
Rouge as Josie
Mina as Maria
1970's Jack Nicholson as Martin
Bunnie Rabbot as Catherine
1970's Erik Estrada as Mark
Vanilla as Charlize
Vector, Espio, & Charmy as Charlize's Agents
Sean The Hedgehog as Josh
Blaze The Cat as Amy
The End
This has been a SeanTheHedgehog Production from June 9, 2016
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see.
Sonic's POV
I was running through the streets. I was looking for my friend Shadow, when I bumped into someone. It was a blue and red cat. "Oh uh, sorry," I 说 getting up. "Oh its ok, have 你 seen a black and red hedgehog named Shadow?" The cat asked. Surprised I responded "Actually, I'm looking for him myself! Sonic." "Twilight. How do 你 know Shadow?" "A friend, you?" "He's my boyfriend." Twilight looked to her left. "What is that?" "What is what?" I looked behind me. About six buildings away was Metcha Tails. It roared as it walked along destroying everything in sight. "Stay there Twilight." I 说 as I charged at the robot. After about half an hour, I saw a figure in the distance.
I was running through the streets. I was looking for my friend Shadow, when I bumped into someone. It was a blue and red cat. "Oh uh, sorry," I 说 getting up. "Oh its ok, have 你 seen a black and red hedgehog named Shadow?" The cat asked. Surprised I responded "Actually, I'm looking for him myself! Sonic." "Twilight. How do 你 know Shadow?" "A friend, you?" "He's my boyfriend." Twilight looked to her left. "What is that?" "What is what?" I looked behind me. About six buildings away was Metcha Tails. It roared as it walked along destroying everything in sight. "Stay there Twilight." I 说 as I charged at the robot. After about half an hour, I saw a figure in the distance.
1) Contribute 视频 everyone enjoys.2
2) Contribute 链接 everyone enjoys.
3) Contribute 图片 everyone enjoys.
4) Contribute fanpicks and 答案 that everyone will answer and enjoy :)
你 may start off as a Dedicated Fan, but as time progresses and as 你 devote 更多 of your time to this club, it will eventually become a DIE HARD.
And who Knows, maybe you'll become a fanatic ^^
This was a repost. Dont 报道 it, im just trying to help people. The original was on House M.D spot. Credit to them. blablablablabalablbalbalblabalblablabalblablabalbblablalabalabblab and I hoped this helped.
2) Contribute 链接 everyone enjoys.
3) Contribute 图片 everyone enjoys.
4) Contribute fanpicks and 答案 that everyone will answer and enjoy :)
你 may start off as a Dedicated Fan, but as time progresses and as 你 devote 更多 of your time to this club, it will eventually become a DIE HARD.
And who Knows, maybe you'll become a fanatic ^^
This was a repost. Dont 报道 it, im just trying to help people. The original was on House M.D spot. Credit to them. blablablablabalablbalbalblabalblablabalblablabalbblablalabalabblab and I hoped this helped.
Me:GIMMME A PARACHUTE!!!
Pilot:You might.....
*but it was 2 late i'm falling through the sky 4 hours later BAM!!!*
Me:*looks around* this doesn't look it's earth at all it looks it's planet mobious wait a 分钟 it's planet Mobious!! *faints*
5 hours later....,
Me:Morning Mobius!! *looks around* i'm in a bED?!!?
Vanilla: Yes, & who r u? and where did 你 come from?
Me:I'll tell u what happened THEN I'LL TELL U WHO I AM!!! frist i told a pilot that a need a parachute and the plane blew up then i was falling through the sky then i landed in mobious then I fanited!!!
Vanilla:Thank u for telling me Who are you?
Me:I'm Raven!!!! & i'm crazy!!!
Vanilla:Well Raven i'll let u meet the others...
TO BE CONTINUED......
Pilot:You might.....
*but it was 2 late i'm falling through the sky 4 hours later BAM!!!*
Me:*looks around* this doesn't look it's earth at all it looks it's planet mobious wait a 分钟 it's planet Mobious!! *faints*
5 hours later....,
Me:Morning Mobius!! *looks around* i'm in a bED?!!?
Vanilla: Yes, & who r u? and where did 你 come from?
Me:I'll tell u what happened THEN I'LL TELL U WHO I AM!!! frist i told a pilot that a need a parachute and the plane blew up then i was falling through the sky then i landed in mobious then I fanited!!!
Vanilla:Thank u for telling me Who are you?
Me:I'm Raven!!!! & i'm crazy!!!
Vanilla:Well Raven i'll let u meet the others...
TO BE CONTINUED......
