In today’s Bleach chapter,
we learned that Unohana is
the woman after whom
Kenpachi named Yachiru -
and also that Unohana was
the first Kenpachi. Which
opens up just a whole new
can of 问题 about how
exactly these two
bloodthirsty badasses knew
each other in the past! What
was Unohana like back when
she was Kenpachi? And what
exactly did she do to make
Kenpachi so taken with her?
Here are some theories!
1. They were lovers.
This is, after all, what sprang
into the mind’s of every
Kenuno shipper the moment
we found out they knew each
other in the past - maybe
they were, 你 know,
involved. In a relationship...

The first time Jūshirō Ukitake woke
up in 床, 床上 with Retsu Unohana was
in his third 年 at the Shinigami
Academy.
The curriculum was four years long
in those days. Despite some
pressure from other shinigami
working in the field, Yamamoto-
sensei had refused absolutely to
pass Jūshirō and Kyōraku out of
the Academy early. "Everything that
I'm teaching 你 is important. None
of it should be skipped recklessly."
Yamamoto-sensei scowled as he
spoke.
"I'm sure you're right, Yama-jii,"
Kyōraku said, shrugging. "More
time to chase the girls," he added
when he and Jūshirō walked away
from Yamamoto's narrowed eyes....

Well, um, this is awkward.
Anti pick-up lines on
Valentine’s Day. From
Unohana, of all people. But it
does happen to be 下一个 in
the request queue! So let’s
do this. When Unohana
meets with some unwelcome
flirting, what does she say
(assuming she doesn’t
just, 你 know, kill the guy)?
[And hey! If 你 need more
anti pick-up lines in your life,
check out Byakuya, Urahara,
Aizen, Hitsugaya, Mashiro,
and Gin!]
1. “Your sword is not
strong enough to satisfy
me.”
2. “While it is good to be
energetic, I would prefer you
to aim that energy at
someone other than me.”
3. “There is only one man
alive who can...