你 might be a redneck if

更多 than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

你 think the stock market has a fence around it.

你 think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You've ever 迷失 a loved one to kudzu.

Your 船, 小船 has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your front porch collapses and kills 更多 than three dogs.

Your coffee 表 used to be a telephone cable spool.

你 keep a can of Raid on the 厨房 table.

You've ever used a toilet 座位 as a picture frame.

Your 首页 has 更多 miles on it than your car.