By: SamiJane
Genre: Parody
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Lucas Scott hardly ever listens to the radio. Lucas Scott hardly ever listens to any musical piece of work that is not already on his I pod. Lucas Scott hardly ever pays attention to any musical suggestion from people other than Peyton Sawyer, and maybe Nathan Scott. But most of all, Lucas Scott never ever listens willingly to any song 或者 diddy flowing from the vocal chords of the one and only Chris Keller. But, on this uncharacteristically below freezing December night, Lucas Scott hears a song that piques his interest, a song that actually makes him laugh with, and not at, the ego-tastic rockstar. "And now, 由 流行的 demand," the radio DJ announces, "here again is 树 Hill's own Chris Keller with: 'Jingle Bells, Lucas Smells.'"
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(A/N: Sing this to the tune of “Jingle Bells”)
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Cruising through 树 Hill
Crazy peeps galore
Dan Scott likes to kill
Bitchtoria’s a whore
Rachel’s a hot mess
Keller’s hard to hate
Bevin don’t know right from left
And Timmy adores Nate
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Refrain:
Oh! Jingle bells, Lucas smells
Peyton cries all day
Nate and Hales like to nail
Brooke Brooked herself insane Hey!
Jingle bells, Lucas smells
Peyton cries all day
Nate and Hales like to nail
And Brooke Brooked herself insane
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A year, no six ago
P Sawyer took a ride
With boyfriend Nathan Scott
No longer 由 her side
She almost ran Luke down
They never will forget
Was it really destiny?
What if they never met?
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Refrain
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Playing in the streets
Lucas likes to score
Brooke-dreams wet his sheets
But Peyton he loves more?
Dude, just pick a side
And end the see saw ride
Broody’s lame 屁股 never can pick
Between those two hot chicks
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Refrain
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Nate the jerk 屁股 jock
Soon found his true amore
They wed and all were shocked
Jerk Nathan is no more
Now caring and so sweet
With a bod so buff
A shirtless Nate is sure a treat
你 Girls can’t get enough
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Refrain
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It’s People Always Leave
And Peyton Always Grieves
Jagielski and Pete Wentz
Her Snuf-fle-up-a-gus
To Davis she admits
She’ll always 爱情 Luke Scott
Brooke slapped the “two faced lying bitch”
And, Oh yeah, she was shot
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Refrain
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Cheery rich girl Brooke
Never cared before
Until Broody Luke
Knocked on her red door
She fosters Sam the teen
And wants a baby, too
Once flashed the screen, Miss Prom Queen
Hoes o’er Bros woo hoo!
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Refrain
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Sweet Haley does rock on
As tutor girl and mom
With her five 年 son
She ran through a 玉米 farm
Her middle name is Bob
She threw up on Dan Scott
Rockstar, teacher, young wed ma
Damn, get this girl a shot
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Refrain
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Tiny Jim 果酱 Scott
Steals the scene each time
He dances to hip hop
And can bust a rhyme
But trouble always prowls
And bullies sometimes lurk
Cornfields, Nannies, Swimming Pools
What 更多 could go beserk?
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Oh! Jingle bells, Lucas smells
Peyton cries all day
Nate and Hales like to nail
Brooke Brooked herself insane Hey!
Jingle bells, Lucas smells
Peyton cries all day
Nate and Hales like to nail
And Brooke Brooked herself insane
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"And that, listeners, was Chris Keller's hit 圣诞节 song, inspired 由 our very own Lucas Scott's two best selling novels: An Unkindness of Ravens and Another Unkindness of Ravens."
The dimpled grin of Lucas Scott is still amusingly plastered on his face when he dials a familiar number. "Hales," he greets with a hearty laugh, "You've got to hear this."
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Written 由 SamiJane on FanFiction
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