The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
If 你 smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every 分钟 of it.
If ignorance is bliss, 你 must be orgasmic.
Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. 你 Will Be Assimilated.
Born free... taxed to death.
The 更多 people I meet, the 更多 I like my dog.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.
There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously, 你 won't get out alive.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
If 你 can read this, I've 迷失 my trailer.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
The early bird may get the worm, but the 秒 老鼠, 鼠标 gets the cheese.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I've ever made.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!
Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.
If, a two letter word for futility
I don't care, I don't have to.
Beauty is in the eye of the 啤酒 holder.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
To all 你 virgins, thanks for nothing.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Horn broken, watch for finger.
All men are idiots ... I married their king.
The 更多 你 complain, the longer God lets 你 live.
My kid had sex with your honor student.
Earth first...we'll mine the other planets later.
Give 比萨, 比萨饼 chants.
Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail.
This isn't burger king, 你 can't have it your way.
How can I be overdrawn, I still have checks!
If something goes without saying, LET IT!
If at first 你 do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Help wanted telepath: 你 know where to apply
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Hard work has a future payoff, laziness pays off now.
Life's a buffet... so eat me!
I'm just driving this way to piss 你 off.
If 你 don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Missing your cat? Try looking under my tires.
I 爱情 猫 ... dead ones
I 爱情 猫 ... they taste just like chicken
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket?
I want to be like Barbie, that 婊子, 子 has everything.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Prevent inbreeding: ban country music.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Spotted owl taste just like chicken.
Hang up and drive.
Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Snatch a kiss, 或者 vice versa.
I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.
This would be really funny if it wasn't happening to me.
I have the body of a god... Buddha!
I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
Auntie Em- Hate you, hate Kansas, taking dog. Dorothy
If 你 don't like the news, go out and make your own.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep
枪 don't kill people... but they make it real easy.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Tow-ers will be violated
If at first 你 do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
枪 don't kill people, postal workers do.
Ask me about microwaving 猫 for fun and profit.
I 说 "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
老友记 don't let 老友记 drive Naked.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
老友记 help 你 move. Real 老友记 help 你 移动 bodies.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till 你 can find a rock.
Sex on 电视 can't hurt you... unless 你 fall off.
If 你 smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every 分钟 of it.
If ignorance is bliss, 你 must be orgasmic.
Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. 你 Will Be Assimilated.
Born free... taxed to death.
The 更多 people I meet, the 更多 I like my dog.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.
There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously, 你 won't get out alive.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
If 你 can read this, I've 迷失 my trailer.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
The early bird may get the worm, but the 秒 老鼠, 鼠标 gets the cheese.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I've ever made.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!
Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.
If, a two letter word for futility
I don't care, I don't have to.
Beauty is in the eye of the 啤酒 holder.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
To all 你 virgins, thanks for nothing.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Horn broken, watch for finger.
All men are idiots ... I married their king.
The 更多 你 complain, the longer God lets 你 live.
My kid had sex with your honor student.
Earth first...we'll mine the other planets later.
Give 比萨, 比萨饼 chants.
Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail.
This isn't burger king, 你 can't have it your way.
How can I be overdrawn, I still have checks!
If something goes without saying, LET IT!
If at first 你 do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Help wanted telepath: 你 know where to apply
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Hard work has a future payoff, laziness pays off now.
Life's a buffet... so eat me!
I'm just driving this way to piss 你 off.
If 你 don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Missing your cat? Try looking under my tires.
I 爱情 猫 ... dead ones
I 爱情 猫 ... they taste just like chicken
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket?
I want to be like Barbie, that 婊子, 子 has everything.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Prevent inbreeding: ban country music.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Spotted owl taste just like chicken.
Hang up and drive.
Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Snatch a kiss, 或者 vice versa.
I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.
This would be really funny if it wasn't happening to me.
I have the body of a god... Buddha!
I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
Auntie Em- Hate you, hate Kansas, taking dog. Dorothy
If 你 don't like the news, go out and make your own.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep
枪 don't kill people... but they make it real easy.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Tow-ers will be violated
If at first 你 do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
枪 don't kill people, postal workers do.
Ask me about microwaving 猫 for fun and profit.
I 说 "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
老友记 don't let 老友记 drive Naked.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
老友记 help 你 move. Real 老友记 help 你 移动 bodies.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till 你 can find a rock.
Sex on 电视 can't hurt you... unless 你 fall off.
It seems that life goes 由 resembling somewhat of a 钟, 贝尔 curve of what is considered successful...
At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 10...success is...making your own meals.
At age 12...success is...having friends.
At age 16...success is...having a drivers license.
At age 20...success is...having sex.
At age 35...success is...having money.
At age 50...success is...having money.
At age 60...success is...having sex.
At age 70...success is...having a drivers license.
At age 75...success is...having friends.
At age 80...success is...making your own meals.
At age 85...success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 10...success is...making your own meals.
At age 12...success is...having friends.
At age 16...success is...having a drivers license.
At age 20...success is...having sex.
At age 35...success is...having money.
At age 50...success is...having money.
At age 60...success is...having sex.
At age 70...success is...having a drivers license.
At age 75...success is...having friends.
At age 80...success is...making your own meals.
At age 85...success is...not peeing in your pants.
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.
Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot 由 loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.
Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that 你 are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls 爱情 Italian food...
Bad girls 爱情 Italian waiters.
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.
Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot 由 loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.
Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that 你 are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls 爱情 Italian food...
Bad girls 爱情 Italian waiters.