Keep your eyes off my journal 或者 you'll spend the rest of your life as a lawn ornament.

July 1st

Another 日 of doing exactly what I wanted to do. I can hardly wait for school to start. How many times would I need to write that line before I started to believe it?

July 15th

It rained today, which totally wrecked my plans to try out my new 滑冰 deck. I sat on the porch, turning flies into pebbles until Mom yelled that they were putting dents in the deck. Wish this rain would hurry up and stop.

July 16th

Dude, I 爱情 Mom's killer Greek food, but that's like ALL she ever cooks. I wanted to make this scary good ghoulash recipe I found, but Mom 说 it wasn't "a proper meal for a growing boy." Mom rocks and all, but sometimes she acts like I'm still 10 years old 或者 something.

July 18th

Went to the park to try and find a pickup game of casketball, but there was nobody on the courts except some lame human kid. I was gonna slide out of there, but he asked if I wanted to play some one on one. I figured it wouldn't take long to make him look like a statue out there, but I was wrong. He had a scary good jump shot and even crossed me over a couple times. I had just started to play really hard when my glasses got knocked off and broke. Now I have to figure out a way to get 首页 without stoning someone, but dude just took off his shades and handed them over to me. He 说 to keep them until I got 首页 and he'd get them later. Told me his name is Jackson Jekyll. He 说 he wants a rematch. I told him any time, any place. Not a bad guy...for a human.

August 18th

Perseus ate all of Mom's fetid cheese this morning. It's not his fault he's a 鼠, 大鼠 and cheese is, like, his 最喜爱的 thing. Mom threatened to turn him into a paperweight if he so much as sniffed the kitchen, so I kept him out of her sight for the rest of the day.

August 19th

Went to The Maul today 'cause Mom dropped some cash on me for school clothes and I wanted to see if I could find some new kicks that didn't look like something a human would wear. No luck. I WAS digging this cookbook I found at this 厨房 store until Clawdeen 狼 walked 由 and 说 something stupid. I was totally going to stone her, but Clawd walked up and so I didn't. I'm not afraid of any monster, but he's on the team and I didn't want to start any trouble with him.

August 23rd

Took Cleo de Nile out tonight. I was, like, five 分钟 late and she spent the first part of the 日期 treating me like a statue. I guess it's all part of dating royalty, which is cool, but dating royalty is also stone cold expensive. I was hoping she'd want to hang out and order a screechza, but she chose prime rib instead and there went the money I was saving for those wicked new shades I wanted. I thought the 食物 was killer, but she ending up sending her meal back, like, a hundred times. I felt bad for the waiter and chef, especially since that's kinda what I'd like to do one day. I didn't say much after we left so she probably thought I was mad at her.

August 25th

So I've been trying to talk Mom into letting me get my driver's license, but she's totally not being cooperative like...at all. Every time I bring it up, she crosses her arms and her hair gets all hissy. Then I get the lecture about how when she was my age she didn't have a car and got along just fine. One time I made the big mistake of telling her that nobody had a car when she was my age because they hadn't been invented yet. Dude, not a good idea. She said, "We didn't have skateboards either!" and I had to walk everywhere I went for the 下一个 two weeks. I think she may be coming around though, 'cause now she waits until after listening to my reasons for wanting my license to tell me to go clean my room. Well, one thing's for certain, I may not be getting a license 或者 a car anytime soon, but I will definitely not be riding on the school 柩车, 灵魂, 灵车 this year. No way no how.

September 1st

I got my regular pre-school 年 letter about making sure I wear my shades at all times when I'm on campus. Whatever. I mean, first of all, when I turn someone to stone they don't stay that way. That's my mom, okay? It only lasts up to 24 hours and usually not even that long. 秒 of all, 你 don't shatter like glass if 你 fall over and people can't break off pieces of you, so when 你 turn back your earlobes are gone 或者 something. Thirdly, 你 still know what's going on around you, so it's not like 你 missed anything. And lastly, it's not like I want to turn my 老友记 into rock stars anyway, although sometimes it is kinda fun to let them think that I might.

September 6th

Nothing on 电视 (check)

No new video games I haven't played and beaten TWICE on the hardest level (check)

Mom starting to find new and unusual chores to keep me busy (check)

Cleo de Nile continuing to find new and unusual ways for me to spend money on her (check) (check) (check)

The sweet life of summer about to be replaced 由 the grind of the school 年 (check) (check) (check) (check) (check) (check) (check) (check) (check)