BBC播出的《梅林传奇》 Club
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Standing in a clearing with Merlin’s evil twin, Jethro, a big and scary and blue monster named Gary, and now Mordred – the dude who wanted to kill Arthur – would make anyone a little scared. But scared enough to turn and run screaming away? Not our fearless four!

Arthur turned and ran, screaming, away, but Merlin grabbed the back of his shirt. “Where do 你 think you’re going, mate?”
Mordred stood beside Jethro, radiating evil and cuteness. He was only a little boy, after all. He smiled at Merlin, Arthur, Donna and the Doctor. “I thought 你 would’ve guessed 由 now,” he said, “that I brought Jethro here using magic!”
“You did?” asked Jethro, looking around. “Really, thanks, I was beginning to miss this place.”
“You were?” Mordred asked. “In my opinion, I think it’s a bit dull.”
“Me, too!” 说 Donna. “Question for you: this place 或者 Hawaii?”
“ENOUGH!” bellowed Mordred. “Aren’t any of 你 wondering why I brought Jethro here in the first place?”
Merlin shrugged. “No, not really.”
“I thought maybe 你 were sick 或者 being alone and creepy,” 说 Arthur.
“Obviously,” 说 the Doctor, “you need him for something.”
Mordred smiled. “Finally, someone who actually has a brain. Yes, I need him for something. Something so important that I believe he isn’t that capable of doing, but never mind. Gary seems to like him and Gary’s hard to control.”
“Well, he is a giant monster,” Donna muttered.
“What’s the really important thing, then?” Merlin asked.
“Oh, it’s actually rather small,” 说 Mordred. “I just want 你 all dead, then I can give Jethro the TARDIS in return for his help and……… TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! Muh ha ha.”
“Deal,” 说 Jethro. “Gary, eat them.”
Gary started advancing towards Merlin, Donna, Arthur and the Doctor. They were trapped!
“WAIT!!” Arthur shouted and everyone paused. “I have one 更多 thing to ask.”
Mordred held up his hand and Gary stopped. “Well, get on with it. Ask away.”
Arthur looked at something just over Jethro’s shoulder and shouted, “WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!”
Jethro and Mordred turned around and the Doctor yelled, “RUN!” and he, Donna, Merlin and Arthur turned and ran away through the trees.
“God, I feel like a coward,” 说 Merlin as they ran.
“Would 你 rather be a coward 或者 Gary food?” Donna asked.
“Gary food,” 说 Arthur and Merlin poked him with the stick.
There was a crash from behind them as Gary run through the trees, breaking branches and crushing bushes. He was gaining on them and he sounded hungry. Either that was him growling, 或者 his belly.
“This is hopeless,” 说 Merlin. “We’re all going to die!!!!!!!! Waaaaa.”
At that moment, Gary leapt and he was suddenly in front of them, roaring. Merlin, Arthur, Donna and the Doctor skidded to a stop and looked up at their doom, ready to be eaten at any moment.
“Can’t 你 do some magic 或者 something?” Donna shouted at Merlin, who was making shushing motions with his hands.
“No,” he 说 quickly. “Why would I know anything about magic?” He scoffed. “I’m not a sorcerer.”
“Uh, yes 你 are,” 说 the Doctor. “You know, the all mighty Merlin with the pointy hat and the white beard.”
“Never heard of him.”
“You’re a wizard!” Donna shouted. “So bloody act like one and make that monster turn into a puff of smoke already!!!”
Merlin looked at Arthur, who rolled his eyes. “You think I didn’t know? You’re 更多 stupid than 你 look. Could 你 just hurry up and kill the monster before we die?”
“How’d 你 find out?” Merlin asked.
“OH, WOULD 你 JUST KILL IT?!?!?!?!” Donna screamed.
Merlin turned to face Gary, who was still staring at them and growling. Probably deciding which one to eat first. They all looked yummy.
Merlin raised his hand and said, “Abracadabra.”
There was a funny noise, the sound of Gary gurgling. Then he began to bubble. Little blue bubbles floated off his skin and went pop in the air. Arthur popped one with his finger and it burst all over him, covering him in sparkling blue stuff.
“Ugh.”
“What did 你 do?” the Doctor asked, looking up at Gary, who was trying to eat the bubbles that floated off him.
Merlin grinned. “Turned him into–”
There was a loud CRACK! and a billion blue bubbles. When they floated away and all popped, a little blue creature was sitting where Gary had been moments before.
“A cat,” 说 Donna. “You turned him into a cat.”
“Isn’t he cute?” 说 Merlin, walking 前锋, 期待 to pick up Gary. “Hello, puss.”
Mew,” 说 Gary.
“Ooh, ooh, ooh!! Let me hold him,” 说 Arthur, taking Gary from Merlin. “A cootchie-coo, little kitty. Mew mew mew. You’re so cute. Yes 你 are, yes 你 are. Oh, a little pussy–”
“Drop. The. Cat.”
“Aah!” Arthur dropped Gary and they all looked up to see Mordred and Jethro coming through the path off destruction that Gary had made.
“Oh, Gary!” Jethro shouted. “You ruined my monster.”
“Yeah, but now he’s cute,” 说 Donna. “Isn’t that a plus?”
“Guess 你 can’t kill us now,” 说 the Doctor. “No Gary, no guts, no problem.” He smiled. “We’ll just be going now.”
They started to leave, but Mordred said, “Oh no, 你 don’t. I can still kill 你 myself, and I believe I will.”
“But first,” 说 the Doctor, pulling a bar of 浓情巧克力 from his pocket. “Don’t 你 want some candy?”
Mordred eyed the 浓情巧克力 as Jethro ran to pick up Gary. Then he hurried back to Mordred’s side and Merlin snapped his fingers. “Kazam.”
There was a puff of white smoke and Jethro and Mordred were suddenly locked in an unbreakable cage.
“Hey, hey,” 说 Mordred. “You can’t do this to me. 你 know I’ll just escape, I’m way 更多 powerful than you.”
“As if, shortie,” 说 Merlin with a grin.
“Merlin,” Jethro begged. “Listen, I know I’ve been bad, but I’m your brother. Honest, I won’t do anymore nasty things. Let me out!! PLEASE!!”
Merlin nodded. “Alright.” He snapped his fingers again and Jethro was suddenly standing beside the Doctor, with Gary still in his arms and Mordred still in the cage, banging his head against the bars.
“Time to go?” 说 Donna.
“Hawaii, here we come,” 说 the Doctor. “See 你 later, Merlin. Thanks for saving my life, I guess I’ll have to say. And byebye to you, too, Arthur. Hurry up and take over from your stupid dad.”
“Will do, mate,” 说 Arthur.
“Bye,” 说 Merlin.
“Bye, cuties,” 说 Donna and she and the Doctor headed back to where the TARDIS waited for them.
Jethro watched them go, then he chucked Gary at Merlin, who caught him. “I’m going with them,” Jethro said. “I’ve been away too long and I don’t actually like it here, I’ve decided.”
“Really?” Arthur said.
“Really,” Jethro said.
“I’ll miss you, then,” Merlin told him.
“You, too, Merls. Keep up the good work.”
Merlin nodded and Jethro ran off after the Doctor and Donna. Merlin and Arthur watched him go, then they turned and headed the other way, back towards Camelot, leaving Mordred screaming after them.

“So,” 说 Merlin, a few hours later and they were still walking. “When’d 你 figure out that I was a sorcerer?”
“You know how I was going to tell 你 something about when the Dragon attacked Camelot?” Arthur said.
“Yep, I remember.”
“Well, I saw 你 talking to the Dragon and everything,” Arthur admitted. “I just pretended I didn’t see because I thought, maybe, 你 were crazy. But I mean, I stabbed it in the leg and 你 说 I dealt a mortal blow 或者 whatever. Seriously, as if that would make a dragon fly away.”
“You’d be surprised,” 说 Merlin with a grin. “He’s a big woss. Kinda like Gary.”
Meow,” 说 Gary.
“But it was kinda obvious,” 说 Arthur.
“Kinda?”
“Yeah. But don’t worry, I won’t tell me dear old dad,” he said. “He chop your head off and then who would I have to do all my chores?”
“Someone who might actually like slaving after 你 all day,” 说 Merlin. “I mean, have smelt your clothes? And I have to wash them!! Ew.”
“Merlin?” 说 Arthur.
“Yes?”
“You really are an idiot.”




THE END... for good this time


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