-Am I tough? Am I strong? Am I hard-core? Absolutely. Did I whimper with pathetic delight when I sank my teeth into my hot 炸鸡 sandwich? 你 betcha.
-"So, Fnick, can I change the channel?" Iggy asked. "There's a game on."
"Make yourself at home, Figgy," Fang said.
-He shrugged looking tired again, and pushed away the 食物 tray. "Sure." He lay back down and shut his eyes.
"After all, Fnick is Superman," 说 Iggy.
"Shut up, Jeff," I said, but I was smiling.
-The cool-eyed general spoke again. "The fact remains that 你 are minors, and as such must be under adult supervision and guardianship, according to state law. We're offering 你 such guardianship with a great many benefits and privileges. There could be many less attractive options." He sat back looking satisfied, as if he had just crushed an opponent in Battleship.
I blinked and looked around the room in disbelief. "You're kidding," I said. "We've escaped from top-security prisons, lived through mental and physical torture, lived on our own for years, made tons of smarty-pants grown-ups look like fools without even trying, eaten desert rats with no A1 牛扒, 牛排 sauce, and you're telling me we're minors and have to have guardians?" I shook my head, staring at him. "Listen, pal, I grew up in a freaking dog crate. I've seen horrible part-human mutations die gut wrenching deaths. I've had people, mutants, and robots try to kill me twenty-four/seven for as long as I can remember, and 你 think I'm gonna cave to state law? Are 你 bonkers?"
-"Did 你 know that wasn't me, the other Max?" I asked Fang.
"Yeah."
"When?"
"Right away."
"How?" I persisted. "We look identical. She even had the same identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could 你 tell us apart?"
He turned to me and grinned. "She offered to cook breakfast."
A 秒 later we were laughing so hard it brought tears to my eyes. Fang and I leaned against each other and laughed and laughed, unable to speak for the longest time...
-Then I grabbed her 衬衫 and hauled her to her feet.
"Ordering a pizza?" I snarled.
... It's funny how different people are. If I'd been this kid and someone was snarling "Ordering a pizza?" at me, without even thinking, I would have snarled back, "Yeah. 你 want pepperoni?"
-He handed me a sealed can and a plastic cup of ice. Across from me, Nudge sat up eagerly. "Do 你 have Barq's? It's root beer. I had it in New Orleans, and it's fabulous."
"I'm sorry- no Barq's," 说 Kevin Okun, our steward.
"Okay," 说 Nudge, disappointed. "Do 你 have any Jolt?
"Well that has a lot of caffeine," he said.
I looked at Nudge. "Yeah, because after everything we've been through, we're worried about your caffeine intake."
-They turned to Angel. "We will call 你 Little One," the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense with the whole confusing name thing.
"Okay," 说 天使 agreeably. "I'll call 你 Guy in a White Lab Coat." He frowned.
"That can be his Indian name," I suggested.
-Unfortunately, every time someone 说 "debriefing," the entire flock had one image: someone's tidy whities disappearing in a flash.
-"You die when we die." Fang 说 to me.
-Now Fang pulled a smoking, meaty chunk off a stick and dropped it into an empty Baggie, which was Nudge's plate.
"Want some 更多 raccoon?" He asked.
Nudge paused in midbite. "It is not! 你 went to the grocery store. Didn't you? There's no way this is raccoon." She examined the meat critically.
Fang shrugged. I rolled my eyes at him.
"Oh, maybe you're right," he 说 seriously. "Maybe this is the raccoon, and I gave 你 the possum."
Nudge choked and started coughing.
"Stop it," I told Fang, reaching over to pat Nudge's back. He looked at me innocently.
"He's just kidding, Nudge," 说 the Gasman. "Last time I checked, Oscar Mayer wasn't making 松鼠 dogs."
-The trooper leaned down into Fang's window, her broad-brimmed hat shadowing her face.
"Good morning, sir." She 说 sounding unfriendly. "Do 你 know how fast 你 were traveling?"
Fang looked at the speedometer, which hadn't moved since we'd pushed the car out into the darkness last night. "No," he 说 truthfully.
"I tagged 你 at seventy miles an hour," She 说 pulling out a clipboard.
I let out an impressed whistle. "Excellent! I never thought it'd be that fast!"
Fang shot me a look and I put my hand over my mouth.
-That guy Sam asked me on a date.
"You what?" Iggy burst out.
"I got asked on a date," I repeated, flinging mashed potatoes onto my plate.
"Oh, Max!" Nudge said.
"You're kidding," 说 the Gasman with his mouth full. He laughed, trying not to spit food. "What a loser! What'd he say when 你 shot him down?"
I busily cut my steak.
"Oh, my God," 说 Iggy, his hand on his forehead. "Max on a date. I thought we were trying to avoid tears and violence and mayhem."
-As it turned out, my "tomorrow" started in the pitch-darkness, with my hands and feet bound, and a strip of duct tape over my mouth.
-"You looove me this much!"
-"I can tell all of 你 are mad at each other," 天使 said, stepping to the middle of the aisle. "But I don't know why." She looked at all of us. "Is this what 你 want to do right now? I mean, Max and Fang each have their own flocks. Fang, 你 chose to leave, so 你 can't really argue with anything Max is doing now. If 你 wanted to have an opinion about it, 你 should have 说 something before 你 left."
I was surprised to hear 天使 say that, and Fang looked stunned.
"She doesn't have to-" Fang started, but 天使 held up a hand, with a stern, no-nonsense look that only a seven-year-old could pull off.
"Max can do what she wants," 天使 said. "You can either stay and weigh in, 或者 你 can leave and have no say. That's how it works."
*I just 爱情 this one, because 天使 really shows Fang where he stands! It's hilarious!*
-Max's poem from The Final Warning:
White is the color of little bunnies with 粉, 粉色 noses.
White is the color of fluffy clouds, fluffing their way across the sky.
White is the color of soft-serve ice cream in a cone.
White is the color of angels' wings and Angel's wings.
White is the color of brand-new ankle socks fresh from the bag.
White is the color of crisp sheets in schmancy hotels.
White is the color of every last freaking, gol-danged thing 你 see for endless miles and miles if 你 happen to be in Antarctica trying to save the world, which now 你 aren't so sure 你 can do because 你 feel like if 你 see any 更多 whiteness-Wonder Bread, someone's underwear, teeth- 你 will completely and totally lose your ever-lovin' mind and wind up pushing a grocery 大车, 购物车 full of empty cans around New York, muttering to yourself.
-"I vill now destroy the Snickuhs bahs!"
-"You ignorant little sah-vages," Gazzy 说 puffing and screwing his face. As usual, his imitation was uncanny. I almost wanted to turn around to make sure the headmaster hadn't snuck up behind us.
天使 and Nudge were cracking up at Gazzy's recounting of the tale.
"You malignant little fiends," he added and i couldn't help laughing.
"But, sir," Gazzy went on in my voice. "our parents are missionaries. Lying is the Tenth Commandment. They're innocent of all wrongdoing. What's a stink bomb?"
Now even Fang was laughing, his shoulders shaking.
-Angel reached for Total as he plummeted past her, but her fingers only grazed his fur.
"Total!" she cried, and Total started barking and howling., dropping farther away, his voice trailing off.
"Oh, crap," I muttered, then veered down past Fang. "If I'm not back in two minutes, do not let 天使 have another pet." Then I tucked my wings behind me and started to drop.
"Max! Get Total!" 天使 shouted after me, her voice panicky.
"No, I'm dropping straight down through clouds just for fun." I muttered to myself.
-Basically, I have two speeds... Hostile 或者 smart-aleck. Your choice.
-"I hate this guy," Ari muttered, keeping his head down
"There's a club," I told him. "The Haters of ter Borcht Club. Have 你 gotten your badge yet?
-Some people just don't have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.
-Fang flicked a glance back at me, shook his head, then took a longer look. "What happened to your tan?"
"It was dirt."
He grinned, one of his rare grins that make the whole world spin a little faster. As if he didn't know what he was doing, he reached out and touched my hair where it lay on my shoulders. "You look... like a girl." His voice held bemusement.
"There's a reason for that." I 说 seriously.
"No, I mean like a real-" He seemed to catch himself, shook his head and looked back out the window.
I crossed my arms. "Like a real what?"
While he hesitated, Nudge came up. "Ooh, Max, 你 look great!" she said. admiring my clothes. "That 最佳, 返回页首 is totally hot! 你 look like you're at least sixteen!"
"Thanks," I muttered now feeling embarrassed.
-"Max how are 你 doing?"
Jim Dandy, I thought hysterically. Peachy. Never better.
"Max, do 你 need anything?"
That was such a ludicrous 问题 that I felt myself smile.
"I need to ask some questions," The voice whispered. "I need to know where the flock is heading. I need to know what happened in Virginia."
That got me. A couple of synapses actually connected in my brain. I pulled the blanket down just a little and opened my eyes a slit. "You know what happened in Virginia," I said. "You were there, Jeb."
"Only at the end, sweetheart." Jeb said. "I don't know what happened before hand, how everything fell apart. I don't know where the flock is headed now 或者 what your plan is."
Now I felt maybe 10 percent like myself. "Jeb, I'm afraid you're going to have to learn to live with not knowing." I chuckled.
"That's my Max." 说 Jeb. "Tough till the end. Even after everything, you're still in better shape than anyone else would be. But I have to tell you, 你 need to get onboard with this saving-the-world project."
"I'll try to pencil it in." I choked.
Wow. Jeez, I guess I ended up 写作 practically all of my favorites. Anyway, hope 你 like them!
~bookworm4life~
