《欢乐树的朋友们》 Club
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posted by Edvine2
你 are about to witness history in the making. For the first time in Happy 树 老友记 history, 你 will get to witness the first ever fight between Flippy and Splendid. Because of the 民意调查 I had recently created, which is now closed since I just published this fanfic, Flaky is the only Happy 树 Friend who will not die. Any sustained injury will be made survivable so long as it's within reason. However, this also means Flippy will, unfortunately, die. Whether Splendid actually kills Flippy will be revealed here. Feel free to make bets about who kills who first.

Starring: Flippy, Splendid, Flaky
Featured: Nutty, Cuddles, Toothy, Handy, Petunia
Appearances: (This will be kept a mystery. Read this to find out.)
Symbolism of episode title: The phrase "when 你 see it, 你 will shit bricks" means when 你 see something so awesome, freaky, 或者 off-the-rails act-of-god crazy shit that just had to happen 下一个 door, 你 will lose all bodily control and shit your pants. Only the first half of this saying is used as an episode title. (Fun fact: If 你 watch Futurama, sometimes Bender will see something so shockingly weird that he literally shits bricks.)

The episode starts as usual, with the viewers getting a look inside Flippy's house.

Flippy: *stretches* *yawns* Well, time to potentially fuck up someone's day. *takes his usual meds to keep himself in check*
Splendid: Every 日 I spend most of my morning and part of my afternoon trying to help people in trouble. I just wish I could actually fight an evildoer, instead of rescuing fucking 猫 from trees. On 最佳, 返回页首 of that, everyone I help dies. I suck. (Not exactly what oh want a superhero to say...)
Flaky: I'm not gonna die... I'm not gonna die... Why do I feel like I'm going to die? (Thanks to you, she won't.) I worry too much.
*just moments later, the 3 of them meet. Again, Flippy has never even MET Splendid yet in any of the Internet episodes. This is a first in any media*
Flippy/Splendid(they both say the same line): Who the fuck are you??
Flaky: Oh, I've met Splendid before. He's killed me every time he tried to save me, but yet here I am. Sniffles says it's something paranormal that keeps us alive, but I'm a pessimist in anything ethereal.
Splendid: Unfortunately, Flaky here speaks the truth. I do indeed kill whoever I try to save, but most of the time it's 由 accident. I think I've got 更多 kills than you... Flippy, was it?
Flippy: Yes, that is my name. In case 你 didn't already know, I'm a grizzled war veteran. I have proudly served my country for as long as I've ever held a gun. However, due to... experiences, shall we say, during my stand for freedom, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. Whenever I have a flashback to one of those unfortunate experiences, I "flip out" and go on a killing spree. Including the last 粉丝 fiction 文章 on this site(he always wants to know if he's gotten 更多 kills so he can catch up to Lumpy, who has over 160, so he counts all media) I'm up to 49.
Splendid: What does it take to "flip 你 out"?
Flippy: Not much. Anything that could be used with lethal force, seeing other residents look like they suffered gunshot wounds, mentioning a specific part of a war I served in... 你 name it, it could set me off.
Flaky: I'll be at the mini-mart if 你 need me. *Just then, Toothy almost runs Flaky over, with Toothy narrowly swerving out of the way. He crashes into Nutty's house, which is currently vacant. Because Toothy wasn't wearing a seatbelt, he got flung through his windshield into Nutty's bathroom. His head slammed against the 淋浴 wall, splattering his brain everywhere. We assume he's dead unless his brain reassembles, which won't happen. 1 Dead, 6 on the bubble, Flaky safe*
Flippy: *looks at Toothy's car* Well, that happened. *car explodes*
Splendid: Uh... 你 okay, pal? What the...
*Flippy has just turned bloodthirsty after the explosion.*
Splendid: OH SHIT!
Fliqpy(as he's come to be known after flipping out): Come at me motherfucker. I dare you.
Splendid: Are 你 evil 或者 just insane?
*Nutty walks down the street, to what used to be his house.*
Nutty: What the... WHO DID THIS SHIT??
Splendid: Technically, Toothy did. But he died either on your bathroom 墙 或者 in the explosion we just had. So blame me. After all, I ruin everything I even look at.
Fliqpy: Now, where were we...
Splendid: Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. We're not fight--
Fliqpy: Oh yes we fucking are.
Splendid: Oh fuck...
Petunia, clear across the street: Now, what the hell is going on there?
Nutty, shouting so 矮牵牛, 帕尤妮亚 can hear: Don't come over here, Petunia! Get inside, stay inside, and play World of Warcraft 或者 something! I'd explain everything, but as 你 can see, I'm likely going to die as quickly as my house did!
Petunia: What happened to your house?!
Nutty: Let's just err on the side of Splendid blowing it up! He always kills whoever he helps, inadvertently 或者 on on purpose!
Petunia: Whose car is that, lodged in your window?!
Nutty: Toothy's! I recognize the license plate! Now, I'm gonna get the fuck out of here, and I couldn't give two sugarcoated fucks where I end up! Get in your house and stay there until these two settle their shit!
Petunia: Okay! *slams, locks, and tapes door shut and boards all the windows*
Splendid: Well, that was a little 更多 obscene than my ears could regularly handle. Now, 你 really want to fight me?
Fliqpy: Listen dude, when I turn into this, someone's gonna die. *grabs 街, 街道 sign* And this time, it's gonna be you.
Splendid: *grabs metal pipe that doesn't seem to be of any other use than an epic battle* Not today!

Haha, and 你 thought everything would happen in one page. SUCKERS! The 2nd part is where it gets good. Later. See 你 in a 日 或者 two.

*To be continued...*
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