10. Sing “Discovery Channel” 由 the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7. Ask how Tanya is.

6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.

4. Whenever he complains 或者 argues, reply with “What are 你 gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room 或者 says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” 由 Madonna.

10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”.

9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget.

8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever 你 can.

7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.

6. When 你 go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.”

5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.

4. When she gets a vision, ask if her “spidey senses” are tingling.

3. Trip her up and ask if she saw it coming.

2. Ask her what 你 will be doing in five 分钟 every ten minutes.

And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?

1. 电子邮箱 her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.