In the middle of the night,no no,at two A.M,I awoke to Courtney in my t-shirt(Oh yeah,) watching My Super Ex-Girlfriend starring Uma Thompson and Luke Wilson,her loud munching of the unfinshed cake and pie,and her even louder bawling."Baby what's the matter?"I asked sleepily."I'M THIS FAT AND I'M STILL EATING!!IT'S SO MNFDUIL BLDFB!"Her last words were muffled 由 the food."For the-"I pulled out a peice of paper from my pants and read it."For the....thirty-first time Courtney,you're not fat you're mildly-well,not so midly anymore,pregnant.If 你 were fat,you're face,hands,legs and feet would be too.But you're not fat,so be happy.""WHAT MAKES 你 SUCH A KNOW IT ALL?!!""I'm a doctor."I replied with confidence."GET OUT!And uh,get me two bags of the Doritos from a vending machine,two-"But we have Doritos in our mini-fridge!""I WANT THEM FROM THE VENDING MACHINE!They taste crisper.Now where was I?Oh yeah.Two Milky Way bars,I don't care where from,five bags of cheesy popcorn,the big bags from the Dollar Tree,where everything's a dollar.I'll also need eight large bags of marshmallows,eight bags of Hershey's 浓情巧克力 bars,nine packages of graham crackers-""Let me guess,for smores?""DON'T INTERRUPT ME!!JUST SHUT UP!"Then she cried again."Baby I'm sorry I've just been so moojb bijbjbk-eeee....."She sobbed so hard her words became gibberish."Oh babe it's okay..."I comforted rubbing hr shoulder"I KNOW IT'S OKAY!JUST GO GET MY STUFF!"She yelled back.I turned to the door."Wait Duncan!"She 说 sweetly."What now?"I groaned inconsiderately.Courtney came up and kissed me."Love you.Be safe,please."I kisssed her back."I will.I 爱情 你 too."I walked out(Without a shirt.Oops.) to see an angry "suite neighbor"Mr.Nichailo staring at me."Are 你 crazy?We are sick of all the noise!""Oh believe me,I am too."I replied.Mr.Nichailo looked confused."You'll have to forgive her.My wife is preganant.""Oh.Well 你 must really 爱情 her to stay and take care of her.I've known many men who've 给 up on their wives.I did to,and I 迷失 the 爱情 of my life.I was lucky enough to win her back,but don't give up in the first place."I nodded my head,said; "Thank you!","Good night.",and then went to go get Courtney's things.I came back two hours later,and when I opened the door Courtney ran into my arms crying."I WAS SO WORRIED 你 WERE DEAD!IT WAS JUST KJ JDSJLAE KKKEEEEE!!"Courtney finsished in flawless gibberish."WERE 你 WITH ANOTHER WOMAN??DO I SMELL PERFUME?YOU WERE!YOU WENT OUT WTH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE 你 WERE UPSET THAT I TOLD 你 THAT THE CHILD ISN'T YOURS AND 你 WANTED REVENGE!OH I HATE YOU!"She ran,plopped on the 床, 床上 and sobbed."Baby,I have perfume on because I bought 你 some."I 说 taking it ou of the bag.She was speechless.Courtney walked over to 吻乐队(Kiss) me,but I said;"You know that you're the only woman for me.I 爱情 你 so much."Then I kissed her."Now wanna watch a movie and eat 更多 破烂, 垃圾 食物 with me?"She asked smiling brightly."Honey,if I have anymore of your food,I'M gonna get fat!And I need sleep."She giggled and pushed me on the bed."Then watch until 你 fall asleep!"She took the bag from my hands,and spread all of the contents on the bed,ripping open the packages.Then she turned on the movie she was previously watching to watch with me.Yep,good vacation. PART EIGHTEEN IS COMING OUT SOON!IT'S GONNA GET SO AWESOME I'M NOT EVEN JOKING DUDES!SEEYA 下一个 TIME! By:Lydia Anderson