都市传说

one 日 i was sleeping over at my 老友记 house ( this happened last Saturday/Sunday) so there was 5 boys and 5 girls ( if 你 include me) and there where no parents, and we where all really hyper so, i heard something down in the basement and everybody was really loud so of coarse i screamed to get there attention a couple of min. later we are all in the basement i went to go look in the closet, and there standing in there was maskey and he 说 " cheesecake?" then he just walked out of the house saying bye and i'm like "WTF, just happened"

EJ: problem, how are we supposed to get there?

Masky: easy! *takes out phone*

SE: Hello 你 have reached hell, please hold

Masky: Seed Eater! We need 你 to make us a portal to the abandoned SCP facility!

SE: I'm sorry Masky but I work for Zalgo...

Masky: 你 and I both know 你 don't really agree with his ideals

SE: fine... But if Zalgo sends Rake then I blame you!

Masky: ok, we are in Maine

SE: a little 更多 specific

Masky: in a forest

SE: a little 更多 Masky...

Masky: near black pond

SE: will send it right away!

Zalgo: Seed Eater, have you've seen my glasses?

SE: will send it in a few minutes!

PL: lord Zalgo Demands we strike the proxys on the run... We 移动 once the purge starts

Purger: yes sir!

*meanwhile*

Masky: man... I'm running out of pills

Hoody: we will get 你 some bro

EJ: the Purge will start in a few Hours... What should we do?

Jeff: they have no business with us

Johnny: they work for Zalgo...

Jeff: Fuc*

Masky: ... Aha!

All: what?

Masky: the abandoned SCP building!

EJ: it's stupid and crazy but what other choice do we have

Johnny: being killed?

Jeff: worst choice ever

*2 weeks later*

Slender: breakfast is ready!

Johnny: awesome!... just because 你 don't trust me doesn't mean 你 have to stalk me...

Hoody: I'm not stalking you...

Johnny: bullshi*

Lucius: how the hell did 你 learn how to cook?

Slender: I had a daughter...

Lucius: cool

Porter: I wonder what Zalgo is doing...

*swoosh*

Zalgo: ...

Lisa: ...

Zalgo: FUC-

*swoosh*

Masky: we are clearly out numbered... so we must devise a plan

Lucius: well... we should gather people that are not apart of Zalgo's Army 或者 supporters of it

Johhny: and if 你 let me go I could get my guys to help you...

All but Lucius: NO!

Lucius: do we have a choice?

All but Lucius: NO...

????: hello my dear

???: *screaming*

???: 你 are a sick, sadistic, maniac!

????: to bad... I AM a killer now...

???: do 你 feel any guilt?

????: every single 日 I feel guilt... I killed my family, friends, and my first love!

???: but why did 你 kill them?

????: I was sick and tired of being the last guy that helps every one life's while mine gets miserable!... the wicked and the sinners had the good life... while what ever I did to help they laugh and think I'm the bad guy! so I decided, why be the little model student? be the guy that makes the problems instead of solving them!

???: 你 are crazy!

????: well thank 你 captain obvious!... now if 你 excuse me, I have to meet the devil! take care of the place for me... oh wait 你 can't, 你 are tied up! *sadistic laughing*

???: 你 are in better place Mr. snuggles...

Solonik: ok... its time to make my comeback

Henry: that might wait Mr. Solonik

Solonik: what? how did 你 get in here?!

Henry: it pays to not leave the society before Lumar starts teaching stealth

Solonik: wait wait, let me guess why 你 are here... Demon Lord and Absent Face are fighting?

Henry: yes... WE would like 你 to rejoin, 你 are the weapons expert...

Solonik: thanks but no thanks, I will have a big reputation and clients soon

Henry: there will be none of that if 你 don't help!

Solonik: ...

Henry: fine then... *walks away*

Solonik: wait... let me clean my guns...

Henry: welcome back

Society of Killers

Guard: 你 have a visitor Lecter

Lecter: ...

Guard: 你 talk about every thing but when there is someone that ACT- *flop*

Lecter: hello Henry

Henry: hello Mr. Lecter

Lecter: so... what is your business here?

Henry: well... 你 are the smartest of the killers and would be the most civil if it was not for your... skin diet...

Lecter: they broke the treaty?

Henry: exactly

Lecter: well then... may 你 open the door for me?

Henry: yes sir Mr. Lecter

*opens door*

Henry: welcome back

Society of Killers

*meanwhile*

Henry: sorry Mr.Kage but-

Kagekao: it is ok... Henry... I have another job for you...

Henry: yes master... what is it?

Kagekao: gather the team...

Henry: yes sir!

*back to the story!*

Lucius: hey! what happened to Toby?

Slender: I sent him to my brother

*TV 显示 swoosh*

Splender: Toby, would 你 like some 更多 tea?

Toby: yes!

Splender: Mr. Fluff, would 你 like some 更多 tea?

Mr.Fluff [Toby]: yes I do!

Audience: *laughing*

* "everybody hates Chris" commercial break song *

Zalgo: hmmmm...

Observer: hmmmm...

SL: hmmmm...

Lisa: hmmmm...

Targeter: hmmmm...

Pyris: hmmm...

BVRV: pika...

Zalgo: I got it!

All: what is it?

Zalgo: ok so someone knocks Slender out...

Observer: and?

Zalgo: then we bring him here and chain him to the wall...

Targeter: and?

Zalgo: then we capture his proxys and torture them so he gives up!

Observer: but wouldn't he just "Slender walk" out of the chains and warn them?

Zalgo: ._.

All: ._.

Zalgo: fuc*

Slender: Observer, 你 are in charge

Observer: yes sir...

Slender: train the new proxy for me *slender walks*

*Ding Dong*

Masky: yes? *opens door*

???: contract for 你 sir

Masky: thanks seedy

SE: 你 are welcome masky

Masky: Who is your friend?

SE: His name is Porter... he is a rouge SCP

Lucius: ok lets add that to the what the hell is that list...

Sonic.EXE: now is my chance to get out of here!

Lucius: *shoots tazer*

Sonic.EXE: jnhjhbjanjkbneailoveKFCgjablaeamnsjn *faints*

Lucius: I win

???: Shadow Lurker... what the hell took 你 so long?

SL: I am greatly sorry, lord Zalgo... but I did get some info about the new proxy!

Zalgo: like?

SL: his name is Lucius and he has a smg...

Zalgo: and?

SL: thats all...

Zalgo: ._.

SL: sir?

Zalgo: ...

SL: ummmmmm...

Zalgo: THATS ALL

SL: im sorry sir! but Slenderman did tell me to say to meet him at the grave yard at 7:30

Zalgo: WHY 你 - wait, did 你 say slender wanted me to meet him at the grave yard?

SL: yeah?

Zalgo: take care of the 黑夜传说 for me!

*going through portal*

SL: wait what? don't 你 have to take care o-

Zalgo: sorry cant hear you, i'm going through a portal!

*portal closes*

SL: *sigh* time to play some League of Legends

Porter: 嘿 guys *hanging from foot on tree*

Slender: what the heck is going on? who is this guy?

Lucius: he is a rouge SCP apparently, 嘿 HOW DID 你 NOT SEE THAT ROPE TRAP!

Porter: well 你 were to busy chasing sonic 你 didn't listen to me when I 说 I was blind

Slender: good, he doesn't know I don't have a face

Porter: 你 don't have a face?

Slender: shi*

ToTheArk: where are we going to live?

Jeff: well...

Slender: no!

Jeff: he owes us!

Slender: no we are not living with Laughing Jack!

Jeff: do we have any other options?

Slender: fine...

Lucius: who is this "Laughing Jack"?

Slender: I will tell 你 later *unties rope*

Porter: *flop* ow...

cRYPT: Boots! Trevor! Caller!

Trevor: yes?

Caller: yes?

Boots: ... (yes?)

cRYPT: I have a task for you...

Trevor and Caller: what is it?

Boots: ... (like 你 can't do it)

cRYPT: I want 你 to take down the other Proxys

Trevor: but Zalgo says-

cRYPT: i d0NT cAR3 wHAT zALLG0 sAYS? i wANT sL3ND3R t0 sUFF3R?

Boots: ... (dam*it, he is going cryptic again)

Caller: we are on it sir!

All: *all leave*

cRYPT: Jane!

Jane: yes?

cRYPT: take down RED... we are having war on both sides...

Jane: bu-

cRYPT: g0?

Jane: yes sir! *teleports*

cRYPT: *sigh*

Slender: LUCIUS! JEFFRY!

Both: *run in* yes?

Slender: we ran out of milk

Both: ._.

*intermission*

Lucius: ok... we got Slenderman the 牛奶 and 你 a toy

Jeff: yay!

Lucius: but due to me being broke we can't afford to even get on a bus

Jeff: aww

*crash*

Lucius: huh? who's there?!

Johnny: HAIL LUMAR! *charges at lucius*

Lucius: *steps to the right*

*flop*

Johnny: *stands up* oww... I shall kill 你 Zalgo demons!

Lucius: we don't work for Zalgo buddy

Johnny: LIES! *charges at Lucius*

Lucius: *steps to the left*

*flop*

Johnny: dam*it!