Lmao! it's just hilarious:


Dorata: Miss Blair, 你 no longer held hostage 由 evil Prince Louis.
Blair: Oh yay! Now I can really get my hands on that wild forest atop my boyfriend's head!
Chuck: I don't think you're ready for this jelly.
Nate: No one is ready for that jelly. Why can't I have a onesie?
Chuck: Cause you're not Chuck Bass.
Nate: Wah, problems with Lola.
Chuck: I have a 袋鼠 tattoo.
Nate: ...........
Serena: What are 你 gonna do now that you're free of the French Terminator?
Blair: Screw your ex, DUH!
Serena: Oh right, I'm happy for you. Too bad 你 can't be a princess anymore.
Blair: Wait! HOLD UP, BITCH! I didn't think this through!
Serena: I don't wanna be loved 由 anyone so I'm gonna force Lola to take my place as New York's most famous person that's famous for being slutty and blonde.
Blair: Yea, sure.
Lola: Hi friend from Florida who's only plot point is to be cougar bait for Diana Payne.
Aiden: Oh, hi.
Nate: Funny running into 你 here.
Lola: Diana Payne.
Nate: I gotta go.
Lola: I think Nate's in 爱情 with Diana Payne.
Dan: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blair: That's nice. I'm busy. Go away.
Dan: Blah?
Dorota: I write songs with Vanya!
Dan: Give me Blair's divorce papers even though they're none of my business.
Dorota: Ugh, fine. I don't feel like doing my job today anyway.
Dan: Blair didn't sign her divorce papers?? I must ask Chuck's best friend/my best friend Nate what to do about Chuck's girlfriend/my girlfriend Blair!
Rufus: Give Ivy all your mom's money so we can 移动 back to UES and 你 can STFU.
Lily: No.
Rufus: I'll wear 更多 plaid.
Lily: Ugh, fine.
Andrew Tyler P.I: I found your mom again. Not the one 你 had in first season who was addicted to Paxil. 或者 the one that died when she gave birth to you. But the one who told 你 she wasn't your mom when she is. 或者 maybe she's not. I found that one.
Chuck: Cool. What should I do?
Andrew Tyler P.I: Talk to Blair, of course.
Chuck: She hates me because of reasons.
Andrew Tyler P.I: But 你 paid her dowry.
Chuck: Shut your hole!
Andrew Tyler P.I: My b....but no seriously, talk to Blair.
Chuck: Ugh, fine.
Serena: Look, I get 《内衣少女》 named after me for no apparent reason.
Lola: Cool.
Serena: Put it on! I've always wanted to see my cousin in her underwear!
Lola: No.
Serena: DO IT!
Lola: AYE!
Serena: Sorry you're in your skivvies, 轻解罗裳 but I pulled the 火, 消防 alarm.
Lola: Oh gee.
Diana: The Spectator is mine.
Nate: No it's mine.
Diana: It's mine!
Nate: NU UH MINE!!!
Diana: NO! OH BTW, what this place needs another party.
Nate: Well, obvi.
Dan: Why isn't Blair divorced yet?
Nate: I'm gonna tell 你 this cause I suck at being Chuck's friend. Chuck paid Blair's dowry.
Dan: THAT 鼠, 大鼠 BASTARD!
Nate: No, he's just a good guy.
Dan: HE'S A RAPIST! AN ARSONIST! A DAMN SCALLYWAG!
Nate: Okay....hey I'm throwing a party.
Dan: Well, obviously it's Monday.
Dorota: What is wrong with 你 Miss Blair?
Blair: Not telling.
Dorota: Witty Banter.
Blair: Retaliate the witty banter.
Dorota: Witty Banter once again!
Blair: I'm stupid that's why. I wanna keep playing pretty pretty princess.
Chuck: Oh 耶稣 what am I doing here?
Blair: OH GOD WHY SO PERFECT?!
Chuck: My mommy saved my life. Should I talk to her?
Blair: Why are 你 here?
Chuck: Because you're clearly a sane person. What should I do?
Blair: 你 want back into my La Perla's!
Chuck: Uhhh....
Blair: 你 evil spawn of Satan! Clearly you're using a sensitive subject for 你 to get laid!
Chuck: You're fucking insane.
Blair: Am I wrong?
Chuck: ..................what is my life?
Blair: Time for me to walk away from 你 for the 400th time.
Serena: What's up brother from another mother?
Chuck: Don't say mom right now, I'm sensitive.
Serena: Why are 你 here?
Chuck: Because I hate myself.
Serena: Clearly.
Chuck: Should I talk to my mommy?
Serena: I say GO FOR IT!
Chuck: Gee, thanks sis!
Dan: CHUCK LEFT BLAIRS?!!! MUST JUDGE!!!!
Blair: Yea he did, who cares. I crushed his soul again.
Dan: He paid your dowry.
Blair: Floppy haired muppet say what?
Dan: Oops.
Blair: Must find Chuck! I'm not done murdering his soul!
Dan: Well, fuck.
Lawyer: Ivy left the penthouse. Your wife screwed her over.
Rufus: SHOCK AND AWE!
Serena: 你 should model underwear for everyone to see in the middle of a party! Come on it's totally normal. I do it in the living room for my dad all the time!
Lola: No, I'm good.
Serena: Nate's going with Diana.
Lola: I'm there.
Rufus: Lily 你 lied to me! That never happens!
Lily: Rufus, shut up and make waffles.
Rufus: It's 威化饼, 华夫饼 for one now! Be gone evil wench.
Lily: Are 你 for serious?
Lola: Oh hi, Nate and Diana. Remember my friend who is now important to the storyline?
Nate: Welcome dude.
Diana: I'll snack on him later. Ta!
Nate: 你 still wanna piece of dis.
Diana: Pashaw!
Nate: Don't 你 wish your boyfriend was hot like me? DONT CHA!
Diana: I'm totally sane and normal. Watch me 吻乐队（Kiss） this total stranger that Lola brought.
Blair: Oh good, I found you!
Chuck: I'm lost.
Blair: Did 你 pay my dowry?
Chuck: No comment.
Blair: ROAR YOU'RE BUYING ME!! I'M GONNA INEXPLICABLY BRING UP THE HOTEL INCIDENT THAT I FORGAVE 你 FOR A LONG TIME AGO!
Chuck: ..........seriously, what is my life?
Blair: 你 want me so bad 你 paid millions of dollars for this ass!
Chuck: Nope. I just hate myself and want 你 to be free to be with Dan.
Blair: 你 RAPIST ASSHOLE!
Chuck: Alright, I'm done.
Dan: Sorry for breathing down your neck.
Blair: Chuck's done one bad thing to me. Chuck's never done anything good.
Dan: That's what I'm saying.
Diana: Let me eat you, guest star!
Nate: Lolz, filmed it.
Lola: We sure showed her, honey!
Serena: Wait, 你 lied to me when I was lying to 你 to come to a party where I was trying to force 你 into being an It girl when 你 don't want to be just to scheme with your boyfriend and set up his ex?
Lola: Basically.
Serena: SLUT!
Lola: It girl thing, not for me.
Serena: I MUST STAY IT GIRL FOREVER!!!
Chick: Uh, take off that lingerie, you're not an It girl anymore.
Serena: Well, shit.
Diana: Here, 你 keep the Spectator.
Nate: Gee, thanks.
Diana: P.S. I 爱情 you.
Andrew Tyler P.I: Elizabeth Fisher is a nun. Not your mom.
Chuck: 公牛 shit.
Andrew Tyler P.I: No seriously. Nun. Not mom.
Chuck: If I laced this scotch with 鼠, 大鼠 poisoning do 你 think I'll die.
Andrew Tyler P.I: How many moms are 你 on now dude?
Chuck: I 迷失 count.
Blair: Why am I in this terrible dress?
Dan: Because of reasons.
Blair: I hate my life.
Dan: Makes sense.
Blair: Your hair is staring at me.
Dan: This crown is fake.
Blair: KILL ME NOW!
Dan: Shut up and do what I say.
Blair: Oh okay, I 爱情 you.
Dan: Pretty pretty princess.
Chuck: Why didn't I die on the streets of Prague?


all credit goes to beelieve at tumblr