I 爱情 my mum. 更多 than anything but my dad has always been my favourite. It’s not that I 爱情 him 更多 than mum but he’s fun and understanding, he has wonderful 建议 and awful jokes. Two weeks ago, dad left. He left mum. He left me. Mum’s sad. She’s not up to much lately. I know she’s angry at him for leaving but she misses him. She’s unhappy and lonely.
Dad talked to me before he went. He told me to study hard, stay healthy and enjoy my life. He made me promise to look after mum. I think he’d be disappointed in me if he heard her crying at night. I feel terrible for not helping her feel better but I cant. How can I make mum feel better if I don’t feel better? Like mum, I spend most of my time in my room- sleeping, thinking, crying. I don’t cry as much as her anymore and I think, maybe, that’s worse.
For the first few days without dad, I couldn’t do anything but cry. My eyes were constantly red and puffy, I was so angry at dad. How could he leave us like this? Used tissues littered the floor around my over-flowing bin. Neither of us did anything for those days. We did eat, we didn’t talk, we hardly moved. The phone rand a lot but no-one answered it.
The house has changed; it used to be buzzing with activity, sunshine filled the rooms and dad played his ACDC albums every night. Now it’s empty, dull, miserable. We both stick to our bedrooms mostly, the kitchen, the bathroom at the back of the house. We’d have to walk past dad’s study to get to the main bathroom. Neither of us can do that. He spent a lot of time in there.
I’ve tried talking to mum a few times. I guess she’s not ready for a conversation. I got her to eat a piece of 烤面包, 吐司 this morning. She’s been eating reasonably well but I’m still worried about her like she’d stop easting as soon as I turn my back on her. Maybe I should be 更多 worried about me. I try to eat but nothing tastes good anymore. My 下一个 goal is to get mum out of her bedroom, at least onto the couch. Not yet, but soon. When she’s ready. Baby steps. I miss mum.
I used to tell her my problems, she was a good listener. I can’t do that now. She’s not coping without dad. I need to be strong for her. Maybe this is how it will be forever.
I’ve found an escape. Dad’s study. I go there during the 日 while mum’s in her room. I can close my eyes and pretend he’s sitting on the chair behind his desk. He came back after realising the way he left us and now he’s booking a 表 at that restaurant mum loves. He’s forgiven me for not looking after mum properly, he knows it was hard. He’s apologised and mum’s laughing like she did before. I’ll be eating properly again and we’ll be happy. Like before.
If dad really was here he’d know how to make me happy. He’d make me eat again. It would be okay. Everything would be okay. I really wish dad would come back to us. Mum gets 更多 and 更多 depressed everyday. I can barely look at her. Dad would make her get out of bed, he’d make her get dressed and go to a doctor. They give out pills for depression. They could help her. Dad would know how to get those. He’d take a look at the empty cupboards and help me 商店 for food. I miss him so much.
When the study gets too depressing I go back to my room each time promising myself I’d go for a walk. Last year, a girl in my class 迷失 her brother in a car accident. They were really close. She got really depressed and one 日 she jumped off the same bridge his car crashed on. I don’t ever want to be that way. Her 老友记 and family were so sad. I’m scared that if I stay in the house any longer I might get that way. So I promise myself I’m going for a walk tomorrow.
It’s been two weeks without dad. I stay in 床, 床上 for a while after I wake up. I can 心 mum in the 厨房 but I’m not hungry. I get up and drag my blanket into dad’s study. I spend a lot 更多 time in here than I used to but I’m also walking like I promised myself I would. I sit on the lounge hugging my legs. The cushions still smell like him so I close my eyes and wonder when I’ll stop feeling like this, everything reminds me of him. There’s a knock on the door but I keep my eyes closed. I feel the cushions 下一个 to me sink and I open my eyes to see my mum sitting 下一个 to me. She’s looking around as thought she’s never been in here before. We sit like this for a while. Her looking around, me looking at her. She doesn’t say anything, I don’t expect her to. Too soon after, she gets up and walks out. I stay only long enough to fix the cushions the way dad liked them before I go back to my room.
It takes me half an 小时 to shove on some clothes and brush my teeth/ I meet mum in the hall. She’s dressed today, in a simple 短裙, 裙子 and a 衬衫 dad claimed as his favourite. She hasn’t bothered with makeup but she grabs a pair of black sunnies to hide her red, swollen eyes. We head to the car and are driving away. The car is silent. Mum still isn’t talking. She’s still depressed and a 短裙, 裙子 and sunnies won’t change that. When we get there we take our seats in the front row. “We are gathered here today to remember the life of a loving father, adoring husband and caring son.”
The priest at the front says. I wasn’t really listening; I was thinking I heard parts of the speeches though.
‘Miss him…always remembered…beautiful wife and daughter…very sick”
It went on. People cried and quiet sobs sounded from every corner of the packed church. My father’s funeral was simple and elegant. There were 更多 people there than I could ever imagine, I hardly noticed it, I spent the whole time 由 my mothers side, in case she needed me. At the end when people started leaving my mum spoke to me for the first time in two weeks. “I 爱情 你 and I’m sorry for being so sad. It’s just us now; we’re going to look after each other. I’ll start cooking again if 你 start eating again. We’re going to talk and clean and shop. I 爱情 you.”
Tears roll down my cheeks. It will be okay, everything will be okay.
“I 爱情 你 mum, 更多 than anything.”
Dad talked to me before he went. He told me to study hard, stay healthy and enjoy my life. He made me promise to look after mum. I think he’d be disappointed in me if he heard her crying at night. I feel terrible for not helping her feel better but I cant. How can I make mum feel better if I don’t feel better? Like mum, I spend most of my time in my room- sleeping, thinking, crying. I don’t cry as much as her anymore and I think, maybe, that’s worse.
For the first few days without dad, I couldn’t do anything but cry. My eyes were constantly red and puffy, I was so angry at dad. How could he leave us like this? Used tissues littered the floor around my over-flowing bin. Neither of us did anything for those days. We did eat, we didn’t talk, we hardly moved. The phone rand a lot but no-one answered it.
The house has changed; it used to be buzzing with activity, sunshine filled the rooms and dad played his ACDC albums every night. Now it’s empty, dull, miserable. We both stick to our bedrooms mostly, the kitchen, the bathroom at the back of the house. We’d have to walk past dad’s study to get to the main bathroom. Neither of us can do that. He spent a lot of time in there.
I’ve tried talking to mum a few times. I guess she’s not ready for a conversation. I got her to eat a piece of 烤面包, 吐司 this morning. She’s been eating reasonably well but I’m still worried about her like she’d stop easting as soon as I turn my back on her. Maybe I should be 更多 worried about me. I try to eat but nothing tastes good anymore. My 下一个 goal is to get mum out of her bedroom, at least onto the couch. Not yet, but soon. When she’s ready. Baby steps. I miss mum.
I used to tell her my problems, she was a good listener. I can’t do that now. She’s not coping without dad. I need to be strong for her. Maybe this is how it will be forever.
I’ve found an escape. Dad’s study. I go there during the 日 while mum’s in her room. I can close my eyes and pretend he’s sitting on the chair behind his desk. He came back after realising the way he left us and now he’s booking a 表 at that restaurant mum loves. He’s forgiven me for not looking after mum properly, he knows it was hard. He’s apologised and mum’s laughing like she did before. I’ll be eating properly again and we’ll be happy. Like before.
If dad really was here he’d know how to make me happy. He’d make me eat again. It would be okay. Everything would be okay. I really wish dad would come back to us. Mum gets 更多 and 更多 depressed everyday. I can barely look at her. Dad would make her get out of bed, he’d make her get dressed and go to a doctor. They give out pills for depression. They could help her. Dad would know how to get those. He’d take a look at the empty cupboards and help me 商店 for food. I miss him so much.
When the study gets too depressing I go back to my room each time promising myself I’d go for a walk. Last year, a girl in my class 迷失 her brother in a car accident. They were really close. She got really depressed and one 日 she jumped off the same bridge his car crashed on. I don’t ever want to be that way. Her 老友记 and family were so sad. I’m scared that if I stay in the house any longer I might get that way. So I promise myself I’m going for a walk tomorrow.
It’s been two weeks without dad. I stay in 床, 床上 for a while after I wake up. I can 心 mum in the 厨房 but I’m not hungry. I get up and drag my blanket into dad’s study. I spend a lot 更多 time in here than I used to but I’m also walking like I promised myself I would. I sit on the lounge hugging my legs. The cushions still smell like him so I close my eyes and wonder when I’ll stop feeling like this, everything reminds me of him. There’s a knock on the door but I keep my eyes closed. I feel the cushions 下一个 to me sink and I open my eyes to see my mum sitting 下一个 to me. She’s looking around as thought she’s never been in here before. We sit like this for a while. Her looking around, me looking at her. She doesn’t say anything, I don’t expect her to. Too soon after, she gets up and walks out. I stay only long enough to fix the cushions the way dad liked them before I go back to my room.
It takes me half an 小时 to shove on some clothes and brush my teeth/ I meet mum in the hall. She’s dressed today, in a simple 短裙, 裙子 and a 衬衫 dad claimed as his favourite. She hasn’t bothered with makeup but she grabs a pair of black sunnies to hide her red, swollen eyes. We head to the car and are driving away. The car is silent. Mum still isn’t talking. She’s still depressed and a 短裙, 裙子 and sunnies won’t change that. When we get there we take our seats in the front row. “We are gathered here today to remember the life of a loving father, adoring husband and caring son.”
The priest at the front says. I wasn’t really listening; I was thinking I heard parts of the speeches though.
‘Miss him…always remembered…beautiful wife and daughter…very sick”
It went on. People cried and quiet sobs sounded from every corner of the packed church. My father’s funeral was simple and elegant. There were 更多 people there than I could ever imagine, I hardly noticed it, I spent the whole time 由 my mothers side, in case she needed me. At the end when people started leaving my mum spoke to me for the first time in two weeks. “I 爱情 你 and I’m sorry for being so sad. It’s just us now; we’re going to look after each other. I’ll start cooking again if 你 start eating again. We’re going to talk and clean and shop. I 爱情 you.”
Tears roll down my cheeks. It will be okay, everything will be okay.
“I 爱情 你 mum, 更多 than anything.”
I needed more, more! I threw the book across the dimly lit, wooden attic. The book hit a stack of old newspapers. I tore open yet another book. Nothing would give me my answers.
Why did I feel the need to care for Lucy? Why could I not get Alexander out of my head?
There were pages, and pages of the thought process, but nothing to explain what I felt! Why could no one manage to capture these feelings, and explain them?
A knock on the door interrupted me. “What?” I snapped.
“It is past midnight, Damien. Come to bed,” 说 Grey through the door.
“I’ll come when I want to. Now, go away!” Could she not understand I was confused, and angry? She possessed such naivety.
“Fine!” Grey yelled. I heard her storm down the steps. Then I heard her bedroom door slam. I let out a puff of air.
Then I threw another book against the wall. I kicked the whole stack of books, and watched as they toppled over. I threw myself onto the floor, and began crying.
Why did I feel the need to care for Lucy? Why could I not get Alexander out of my head?
There were pages, and pages of the thought process, but nothing to explain what I felt! Why could no one manage to capture these feelings, and explain them?
A knock on the door interrupted me. “What?” I snapped.
“It is past midnight, Damien. Come to bed,” 说 Grey through the door.
“I’ll come when I want to. Now, go away!” Could she not understand I was confused, and angry? She possessed such naivety.
“Fine!” Grey yelled. I heard her storm down the steps. Then I heard her bedroom door slam. I let out a puff of air.
Then I threw another book against the wall. I kicked the whole stack of books, and watched as they toppled over. I threw myself onto the floor, and began crying.
upset
and so many thoughts
circling around
your head,
你 try to make
this right,
to find the best way
so 你 could feel better,
so 你 could be free.
Pain will never
go away,
it always stays
to remember you
that life is not a dream,
life is unpredictable.
Endless questions,
so many "Why",
but the answer
we will
never find!
The strength within
will not let us crack,
life is unpredictable,
who's to say?
Today you're happy,
and yet
despair waits
stealthily
to engulf you.
But,
你 need to be prepared.
Not only bad things
happen to bad people.
Unfortunately,
so many pure,
honored hearts
have been broken for
so many times,
in so many pieces,
and yet
they live,
they live with
their agony,
they live with
their groan,
but they live,
tho their eyes are
always sad,
their hearts are
still softly.
Therefore
they know...
Therefore
they are...
The brightest star
that shines
in the dark,
that spark of hope
for all of us
who deserve better.
When 你 look at the night sky, what do 你 see?
In my eyes,
I see the moon as a peaceful spirit,
watching over me.
When 你 stop and listen to the wind, what do 你 hear?
In my eyes,
The wind sings to me and tells tales.
When 你 feel the sun on your back, what do 你 think?
In my eyes,
The sun reaches out and gives me a warm smile.
When 你 hear a flowing stream, how does it sound?
In my eyes,
The stream is floating in my 心 and soul, drifting on and on.
When 你 look at me, what do 你 see?
In my eyes,
I see an average girl who is silently struggling inside.
But that's all in my eyes.
In my eyes,
I see the moon as a peaceful spirit,
watching over me.
When 你 stop and listen to the wind, what do 你 hear?
In my eyes,
The wind sings to me and tells tales.
When 你 feel the sun on your back, what do 你 think?
In my eyes,
The sun reaches out and gives me a warm smile.
When 你 hear a flowing stream, how does it sound?
In my eyes,
The stream is floating in my 心 and soul, drifting on and on.
When 你 look at me, what do 你 see?
In my eyes,
I see an average girl who is silently struggling inside.
But that's all in my eyes.
Hi people. well im starting up an 建议 column for those people who need 建议 through situations and questions. If 你 yourself find your stuck in a problem 电子邮箱 my account at dearannie_advice@hotmail.co.uk. this is my special account i use for people needing help. Dont worry anything 你 say will never be told to anyone else, thats my promise. If 你 dont think 你 trust me then send it to my 潮流粉丝俱乐部 account. im here to help those stuck.
please if 你 need advice, just try it.
the new Dear Annie
xxxxx
please if 你 need advice, just try it.
the new Dear Annie
xxxxx