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posted by Bluekait
Your butt is wide, well mine is too
Just watch your mouth 或者 I'll sit on you
The word is out, better treat me right
'Cause I'm the king of cellulite
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right

My zippers bust, my buckles break
I'm too much man for 你 to take
The pavement cracks when I fall down
I've got 更多 chins than Chinatown

Well, I've never used a phone booth
And I've never seen my toes
When I'm goin' to the movies
I take up seven rows

Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on
(Fat, fat, really, really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, 你 know it
(Fat, fat, really, really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come...
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This is my gorgeous ,Beautiful, talented and inspirational hero Talia . Talia is a fighter .Talia was first diagnosed 6 years 以前 with with stage four neuroblastoma cancer, a tumor that develops from nerve tissue in infants and children, on Valentine's 日 in 2007.It was then that she first developed an interest in make-up .Now she has attracted over14million viewers to her video blog. Her make-up tutorials are amazing.She is always so positive and never loose hope. last summer Talia learned that she has neuroblastoma and leukemia 'at the same time' and the doctors were giving her only four...
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1. Dick Trickle

A NASCAR driver that sounds like he has symptoms of prostate problems. Yeah, this one definitely deserves the 最佳, 返回页首 spot on the list.

2. Rusty Kuntz
If he were a girl, it would possibly be number one on the list; nobody would want to mess with her.

3. Grant Balfour
Grant means “to give” and ball four represents a walk in baseball. Not exactly the best name for this Oakland A’s pitcher.

4. Pete LaCock
The capitalization of this name just makes it even worse. He gets the double whammy on the first and last name

5. Guy Whimper
He is a 6’5’’, 300lbs. offensive tackle for the Jacksonville...
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1.You jinx 3 people and they Owe 你 3 cans of your 最喜爱的 soda.
2. 你 find a four leaf clover

3. 你 are randomly exactly at the end of a rainbow.

4. 你 get over your phobia

5. Your crush says I 爱情 you.

6. 你 find $10 dollars on the ground

7. 15 people say your awesome

8. 100 更多 people followed 你 on twitter

9. 你 meet your fav celebrity.

10. 你 get a new car.



Yep! 10 things that 显示 你 have bad luck is coming soon!




10 things that 显示 你 have bad luck is coming soon!
A comedic spin on pop culture 吸血鬼 and scary 电影院 in general, tells the story of three teens who believe their new babysitter is a real bloodsucking creature of the night -- and it's now up to them to rid their sleepy little town of the menace.

I 爱情 this show, and for the parent freaking out over it being "inappropriate" they have a time on 迪士尼 channel for kids it goes to noon. Shouldn't be that hard to avoid a 显示 that airs late, and its not obscene, and she wasn't "making out" with anyone It was a peck like everything else on Disney. Do yourself a favor and switch to Disney.

Anyway I 爱情 this show! So no I guess its not only children that watch the 迪士尼 channel. I 爱情 the characters. It's interesting and funny, I 爱情 that its not a typical 迪士尼 comedy and I 爱情 that there's no annoying laughter in the background! Anyway I recommend it :)
I just made some up and put them all here-some are negative, positive and 语录 and sayings and others.

1. This is me. This is who I am. If 你 don’t like me-don’t stick around.
2. Challenge me. It will make no difference. Why? ‘Cause 你 are the one thats going to be dead in the end.
3. 你 think make-up and fashion is the solution to all your problems? Well thats a big laugh.
4. Beautiful doesn’t mean blonde 或者 skinny
5. Beauty comes from within-not from looks
6. Just because he/she is cute, doesn't mean they are made of 糖果
7. 你 can do anything-but not everything
8. 你 may be physically...
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posted by chillyneon
Use these on your friends. They are fun and awesome. Just like me :)))))))))

F = Friend M = Me

F = Do I need to lock the door?
M = Do I need to tell 你 a hundred times that were not going to have a zombie attack?

Robber = Wheres the money?
Me = In your mouth where your last girlfriend told 你 to put it.

F = How do I swim?
M = Just don't drown.

M = If 你 die, I call getting ALL of your awards for being a smart-alex.

The 流行的 girl = Your so stupid!
Me = At least I'm not wearing my 衬衫 on backwards.

Your friend is telling a long story. If 你 are getting annoyed say this.
Friend = Blah blah blah blah......
Me = I need some asprin

Some 随意 guy/girl = Is this 座位 empty?
你 = Yes and this one will be too if 你 sit here.

I'll write 更多 soon!!!
Hi my name is Amanda and this is how to service 7th grade. On the first 日 of 7th grade I was so excited to see my 老友记 after summer yay. Well the first 日 of 7th grade really sucked but at least I got to see my friends. Yes it’s time to leave school. But I did not see one of my 老友记 Hannah that sucks because she went to Luray middle. Well I’m 首页 and I just talked to Hannah on the phone. She 说 “I might come back to page 下一个 semester”. “Sweet school is so different without one of my best friends” I said. “If I don’t come back don’t be mad at me”. “I won’t...
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posted by adaug
Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so 你 guy will need a babysitter!


*10 分钟 later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!


*59 分钟 later*
Amber:I wuv 茶 parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are 你 doing?
Amber:Having a 茶 party!
Ashley:Can I...
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(there is no order)

1.Allen walker (d grey man)
2.Gaara (naruto/shippuden
3.Hatsuharu sohma (fruits basket)
4.Deidara (naruto shippuden)
5.Senri shiki (vampire knight)
6.Tsubasa otori (beyblade/metal masters)
7.Toushiro hitsugaya (bleach the movie)
8.Neji hyuga (naruto/shippuden)
9.Mystel (beyblade g revolution)
10.zelgardis breywords (the slayers)
11.hikaru (ouran highschool host club)
12.china (hetalia) (i think?)
13.hanabusa (vampire knight)
14.takama ichijo (vampire knight)
15.zaku (naruto) (deceased aka dead)
posted by pollydbookworm
This 鸭 walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do 你 have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the 鸭 leaves.

The 下一个 day, the 鸭 returns and asks, "Do 你 have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the 鸭 leaves.

The 日 after that, the 鸭 walks in the store again and asks "Do 你 have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told 你 no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if 你 come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...
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I'm putting two funny 文章 together in one, hope 你 enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I 爱情 deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would 你 know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what 你 need, and I'll tell you...
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previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy 熊 on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some 食物 while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the 厨房 and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the 厨房 was when Tina got 首页 she saw what the 厨房 was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their 首页 the Teddy 熊 was hiding in the 厨房 cupboard as it chuckled...
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15) They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

14) This is just a 15 分钟 power nap like they raved about in the last
time-management course 你 sent me to.

13) Whew! Guess I left the 最佳, 返回页首 off of the Liquid Paper.

12) I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

11) This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

10) I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

9) I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
Are 你 discriminating against people who practice yoga?

8) I was doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise...
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posted by kinga10111
..... 随意 Facts .....

If 你 have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, 你 have $1.19. 你 also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the 林肯 Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest 随意 speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...
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1.Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

2.Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

3.There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

4.The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

5.A 鲨鱼 is the only 鱼 that can blink with both eyes.

6.There are 更多 chickens than people in the world.

7.Two-thirds of the world's 茄子 is grown in New Jersey.

8.The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

9.On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

10.All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on...
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Barbra Streisand

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owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoo...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: I found these online, and they made me smile. As 你 can see, I clearly didn’t make them up. Thought of course, If I had, I wouldn’t be claiming they were someone elses…Never mind..

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
-A. Whitney Brown

When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.
- Stephen Wright.

Did 你 ever walk in a room and forget why 你 walked in? I think that’s how 狗 spend their lives.
–Sue Murphy

I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak...
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posted by TVD_rocks
10. Sing “Bad Touch” 由 the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

6. Whenever he complains 或者 argues, reply with “What are 你 gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

5.Ask him to be a gangsta with 你 for Halloween

4. 显示 him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile 或者 if it's just you.

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room 或者 says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” 由 Madonna.
Do-do-oo-oo
Yeah-Yeah-Yeah-Yeah
(Intro Music)
We wonder, are 你 ready to 加入 us now?
Hands in the air, we will 显示 你 how come and try caramell will be your guide (be your guide)
So come and 移动 your hips,
sing
Oa-ah-ah!
Look at your two, do it
La,la,la!
You and me can sing this melody
Oa-oa-ao

Dance to the beat,
wave your hands together
Come feel the heat,
Forever and forever
Listen and learn,
It is time for prancing
Now we are here with Caramelldansen
Oo-oo-oo-oa-oa
Oo-oo-oo-oa-oa-ao
Oo-oo-oo-oa-oa
Oo-oo-oo-oa-oa-ao
Fron Sweden to UK we will bring our song Austrailia,USA,and people of Hong Kong They have herd...
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