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posted by Annacrombie
This is a true story that happened to me moments ago
____________________________________________________

I sat in my room, twenty past 11 trying to find 更多 crap on the internet
I herd a loud noise downstairs, then a crash, a slam of door and some slurred words
My parents were outta town and my lil sis was at a sleep over, what the hell was going on?
I put my laptop down and grabbed the nearest item, which was a lamp,
My brother Luca, aged 21, walked into my room, i could smell the acahol in his breath
"Who da sexiest lil sod in the world? 你 are!" He pointed at me before colapsing on the floor, this could be fun
"Your drunk" I said
"Your Sexy" He replied
"Okay who let 你 watch family guy again...oh wait me"
"IM THE BLOODY KING OF ENGLAND AND I CANT DO AS I DAMN WELL PLEASE 你 GIT!"
"Stop pissing me off im hungry"
"NEVEH!" Luca shouted before runnig downstairs and garding the fridge, i followed
"Let me get some pizza" I comanded
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
"SINCE WHEN ATE 你 A DOG!"
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
I sighed and did the only thing i could think of, i tied some rope around his neck and tied him to the bin, he bit through
"IMMA LAMA NOW!"
"Aw fu-"
"HAVE 你 SEEN THE 松饼 MAN THE 松饼 MAN THE 松饼 MAN"
I went to my last resort i had left, i ran upstair and threw on my police fancy dress, which happened to have a short skirt, my bro would be turned on which was not my plan, i also grabbed a water pistol
"FREEZE!" I shouted, jumping into the kitchen
Luca freezed who was now in his underwear whith two grapes up his nose
"BAM! 你 BAD LITLE SOD!" Luca shouted attacking the toaster, he ignored me
I pointed the gun at him "COME WITH ME 或者 I'LL SHOOT"
I (eventuly) handcuffed him and led him to the his room
"I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!" Luca shouted repeatedly,
Now 17 mins past midnight I had Luca chained woth fake handcuff's to my bed, he was asleep
Adn that my 老友记 is the reason why we shall not give alcahol (or sugar in my case) to British people
Now if 你 will excuse me Luca is bititng my toe and i wanna sleep
-A.C.
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WatchMojo
EPISODE ONE:

Spike: [snoring]

Twilight: Let's go through this one 更多 time.

Rainbow Dash: [sighs] We've been over it like a million times, Twilight! We found all six keys, defeated Tirek, and got this sweet castle! End of story!

Twilight: Yes, but why?

Applejack: I dunno, sugarcube. Maybe it's just your new house and there ain't nothin' 更多 to it than that.

Rarity: I must say, speaking strictly on aesthetics, there really doesn't need to be 更多 to it. It's all simply divine!

Fluttershy: I agree with Twilight. And Rarity. And Applejack. And 彩虹 Dash. And Pinkie Pie. Oh, and probably Spike.

Spike:...
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posted by Feathershine
TRUTH

Who do 你 have a crush on?

If 你 had to 日期 anyone here right now, who would it be?

Name one celebrity 你 would want to make out with

Name five people 你 hate and why 你 hate them

Name all the people you've had a crush on before

Have 你 ever embarrassed yourself in front of everyone in school? If 你 did, what did 你 do?

What embarrassing thing has a parent done to you?

Have 你 ever cheated on your girlfriend/boyfriend?

Have 你 had your first kiss, if 你 have, were was it and who was it with?

Have 你 ever seen a parent naked?

Have 你 ever seen 动物 reproducing?

Have 你 stalked anyone,...
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posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, 你 answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, 你 answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, 你 answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, 你 say “is that so?”
5. If 你 so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher 你 did not turn in your homework because 你 were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...
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Sweetie
Sweetheart
My love
Lover
Pumpkin
Baby
Darling
Sweetie Pie
Baby Doll
My Little Cabbage (French)
Love of my Life
Angel
Beloved
Dear
Dearest
Dear one
Deary
Flame
Heart’s Desire
Honey Bun
Poubelle
Honeybunch
Lamb
Jewel
Loveling
Pearl
Pet
Precious
Princess
Prince
My Sweet
Sugar
Treasure
True Love
Beautiful
Beauty
Gem
Saint
Light of my Life
Object of my Affection
Angel Face
Babe
Buttercup
Button
Cherub
Chica
Dumpling
Little Angel
Little Darling
Little Doll
Number One
Prize
Tootsie
Doll Face
My Idol
My Everything
My Life
Object of My Affection
True Love
One and Only
Inamorata
Inamorato
My Passion
Valentine
Dove
Honey Bunny
Smoochy
Babycake
Dream Girl
Dream...
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added by seethesunset
link

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┊╱╲╳¯– —≡჻░▒▓ ▤▥▦▧▨▩█ ▌▐▀▄ ◠◡╭╮╯╰ │┤╡╢╖╕╣ ║╝╜╛ ┐ └┴┬├─┼
╞╟╚╔╩╦ ╠═ ╬╧╨╤ ╥╙╘╒╓ ╫╪┘┌
{。^◕‿◕^。} (◕^^◕) ✖✗✘♒♬✄ ✂✆✉✦✧♱ ♰♂♀☿❤❥ ❦❧ ™®©♡♦ ♢♔♕♚♛★ ☆✮ ✯☄☾☽ ☼☀☁☂☃☻ ☺☹ ☮۞۩ εїз☎☏¢ ☚☛☜☝☞☟✍
✌☢☣☠☮☯ ♠♤♣♧♥ ♨๑❀✿ ψ☪☭♪ ♩♫℘ℑ ℜℵ♏ηα ʊϟღツ回...
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added by BiteMeCullen107
added by Quirnechia
added by crisy93
added by Twilight_Dream
added by ilovehinder
okay im gonna write in a special way

girls that are goth
they hate jocks
they hate it when u talk about sports
they hate it when u talk to much
they never want to do anything when their in a mood
they dont watch american idol
they dont like u to talk about american idol
they hate it when u say "why do u always wear black?"
they hate it when u bring them flowers
they hate it when u try to "make moves"
they hate it when u bring them to parties with people she doesn't know

girls that are smart
they like it when u say "your smartness is cute"
they hate it when u defer her smartness
they dont like it when u...
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posted by Cantwait4book5
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn 你 说 the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely, 独角兽

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because 吸血鬼 are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, The 泰坦尼克号

Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your 图书 are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely, Anonymous


Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Boyfriend,
I can make...
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posted by karpach_13
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. 你 have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin


Even if happiness forgets 你 a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert


If 你 want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy


Happiness is never stopping to think if 你 are. ~Palmer Sondreal


Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain


If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton


Happiness...
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10. Blind People Dream

People who become blind after birth can see 图片 in their dreams. People who are born blind do not see any images, but have dreams equally vivid involving their other senses of sound, smell, touch and emotion. It is hard for a seeing person to imagine, but the body’s need for sleep is so strong that it is able to handle virtually all physical situations to make it happen.

9. 你 Forget 90% of your Dreams

Within 5 分钟 of waking, half of your dream if forgotten. Within 10, 90% is gone. The famous poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, woke one morning having had a fantastic...
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1. paint everything in your sisters room black see what happens

2. get your sister 或者 brother a drink put pepper in it....

3. play all your 音乐 really load

4. blackmail them O.o

5. act like a cow.

6. lick them O.o

7. give them a 面包 三明治

8. set their alrm for two in the morning

9. bite them

10. flush the toilet when their in the shower

11. ding ding ditch their room

12. eat their food

13. be right in their face when they wake up

14 sit on them

15. put your cat 或者 dog on their face see if the animal farts in their face XD
How is it going, everyone. Welcome back to Watching Outside Your Xbox Window While 你 Rant at Night. I’m your host, TatsMojo, and today, we’ll be taking a look at the strangest video games that 你 have never heard of. Number 10: Katamari Damacy. This strange little gem was made on the weird side of the world, Japan. You’ve probably never heard of this (What the fuck am I doing?)
In all seriousness, when I hear about these weird games and the whole, “What were these developers doing? Snorting LSD and drinking PSP and doing funny weed?” is a mindset that just screams that 你 really...
continue reading...