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posted by Joe1996
1. When 你 get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why 你 were speeding, tell him 你 wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend 你 are deaf.

4. If he asks if 你 knew how fast 你 were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if 你 can see his gun.

6. When he says 你 aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why 你 were speeding, tell him 你 had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him 由 his first name.

11. Pretend 你 are gay and ask him out.

12. When he says no, cry.

13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.

14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.

15. If he asks 你 to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.

16. When he asks 你 to spread them, tell him 你 don't go that way.

17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me 晚餐 first"

18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause 你 don't like ink on your fingers.

19. After 你 sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."

20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.

21. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.

22. When he goes to read 你 your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"

23. Trip and fall into him.

24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes 你 away.

25. Before 你 sign the ticket, pick your nose. 你 have to sign with his pen.

26. Chew on the pen, nervously.

27. Clean your ear with the pen.

28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.

29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....

30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.

31. Act like 你 are retarded.

32. When he's telling 你 what 你 did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.

33. Mumble to yourself.

34. When he tells 你 to stop, say what are 你 talkin about, DUDE?

35. Drive to Dunkin 甜甜圈 and say hmmm....only 5 of 你 here tonight.......

36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.

37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!

38. Ask if he watches Cops.

39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.

40. Giggle if he did.

41. Talk to your hand.

42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five 最喜爱的 Friends.

43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.

44. When he frisks you, say 你 missed a spot, and grin.

45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.

46. Try to sell him your car.

47. Ask if 你 can buy his car.

48. If he takes 你 to the station, Ask to sit in front.

49. Play with the siren.

50. If 你 know him, say 你 had his wife for dinner.

51. If 你 don't know him, ask if 你 can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner

52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.

53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.

54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.

55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.

56. When 你 are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.

57. Turn your head and whistle.

58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what 你 gonna do with that.

59. If 你 are female, say I don't do that on the first date.

60. If he sticks 你 in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.

61. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"

62. Tell him 你 like men in uniform.

63. Ask if 你 can borrow his uniform for a 万圣节前夕 party
Christian quotes...

"No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God."
- George H.W. 衬套, 布什

"ATHEISTS, AGNOSTICS AND NON BELIEVERS ARE THE TRUE CRIMINALS OF THE WORLD COMMUNITY" - tencommandments.org

"How can there be peace when drunkards, drug dealers, communists, atheists, New Age worshipers of Satan, secular humanists ... and homosexuals are on top?"
- Pat Robertson

"... atheism is none other than raw depravity - the diabolical principle at work in people who dishonor their parents, murder, lie and commit...
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posted by karpach_13
28 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew

1.. We’re not as big of perverts as 你 think we all are.

2.. No matter what 你 say, your ex-boyfriend is an asshole

3.. We like 你 to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.

4.. Don’t argue with us when we call 你 beautiful.

5.. Don’t treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.

6.. We know you’re pretty, that’s one of the reason’s we’re going out with you.

7.. Don’t go into detail about your period. It scares us.

8.. If 你 have cramps and we ask 你 what’s wrong, just tell us it’s that time of the 月 and nothing more.

9.. If 你 really...
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posted by karpach_13
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten 分钟 intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people 你 can get
to 加入 in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department 由 sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as 你 see fit.

9. When there are...
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Questions:
Do 你 think Eggs are disgusting?


Are 狗 cute?


Do 你 fish?


Are 你 at the age where 你 can drink?


Is eating a Popsicle dangerous?


Do 你 have a boyfriend 或者 girlfriend?


Do 你 know who Hayley Steele is?


Have 你 ever watched Good Luck Charlie?


Ever taken a sponge bath?


Do 你 have your ears pierced?


Ever broken your butt?


茶 is…?


Ever READ Twilight Saga?


Ever burnt 浓情巧克力 in the microwave?


Ever wanted to die before?


Any siblings?


浓情巧克力 Pie is Gross?

Do 你 have a cat?


Do 你 have a dog?


Have 你 ever had a baby?


Are 你 father 或者 a mother 或者 nothing?


Do 你 write stories?


Your best friend’s name is…?


If 你 had a catch phrase what would it be?


最喜爱的 singer?


Is Robert Pattinson hot 或者 what?


Yes 或者 No?


Black 或者 White?


How to post 答案 with 问题 Title:
For example:
Random....Questions:Moolah(your name)
posted by MiizLadiDiime
Some of the many things the dumb 21 faced bitches say in my class i am in 年 8 yeah i 说 it 年 eight they act like deh 18 或者 sumtin most of dem will become prozies

1. oh look at us were so bad cuz we smoke weed..WTF
2. so did u 吻乐队(Kiss) 或者 snog 吻乐队(Kiss) oh ur boringgg
3. rememba my so called friend gave blahblah a blow job she was serious she told me nt 2 tell bt im tellin EVRi 1
4. i 爱情 你 i wanna be wid u 4 eva oh yh me 2 吻乐队(Kiss) kisssy... UR 12!!!
5 oh im gonna bang 你 oh come 巢穴, den, 书房 fight fight fight oh no i broke a nail oh did u im sorry friend yh 4eva bfff
7. i 迷失 my virginty ooh yh she abused...
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Guy's point of view

(Here's the take on relationships from a guy's POV. NOT MINE)
From a guys point of view:

We don't care if 你 talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're 老友记 with other guys.

But when you're sitting 下一个 to us, and some 随意 guy walks into the room
 and 你 jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah.

It doesn't help if 你 sit there and talk to him for ten 分钟 without
even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a
 little concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it...
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1. Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

2. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go.

3. When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her.

4. Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her 你 爱情 her.

5. Call her before 你 sleep and after 你 wake up

6. Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

7. Tease her and let her tease 你 back.

8. Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

9. Watch her 最喜爱的 movie with her 或者 her 最喜爱的 显示 even if 你 think its stupid.

10. Give her the world.

11. Let her wear your clothes.

12. Let her know she's important.

13. Kiss...
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added by azkaban
added by Moosick
added by Nuri__
So let me start this 文章 off 由 saying I’m a fucking idiot. A few years ago, I made an 文章 called 最佳, 返回页首 Ten Japan-Only Games, back when I did this horrible thing called 最佳, 返回页首 tens, and I truly was the Watchmojo of this website. On that list, I included a little Konami game called Shadow of Memories for the Xbox, stating that it did come to Europe, but not to America. Well it turns out it did. Only the Xbox version never came to America. But the PS2 version did, under a new title, Shadow of Destiny, for some reason. Why was it changed from Memories to Destiny? I don’t know. Point is,...
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I was really not looking 前锋, 期待 to this game. 鸭, 德雷克 of the 99 龙 is infamous for being a broken, buggy, glitchy mess… 更多 so than the games I’ve played thus far. It was a game that was heavily advertised when it came out, having boasted about having the team that worked on Batman: The Animated series. Published 由 Majesco and developed 由 Idol FX, 鸭, 德雷克 of the 99 龙 was meant to be the start of a massive franchise, with 鸭, 德雷克 of the 99 龙 getting a comic book franchise and even an animated TV show. But due to the game being 鸭, 德雷克 of the 99 Dragons, it was dead on arrival....
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posted by windwakerguy430
Well, this is a first of many, I feel. Fray, a game 由 the studio Brain Candy, an indie team that had passion for this game, this online multiplayer that anyone could get into. Fray was a game set in 2098 in a cyberpunk setting, 你 play as one of three giant corporations that want complete control over the Earth’s virtual communication system, and hire four soldiers to take out the other companies. Cyberpunk settings were always some of my favorite, so I was interesting in playing this game. So how is it? Well… It’s nothing. 你 can buy this game off Steam right now, but I wouldn’t...
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Ah yes, Jenga, the fun childhood pastime of playing with a set of wooden blocks, because someone was just that bored. I never played much of the board game when it was at its peak of popularity. I was 更多 of a CandyLand kid. Aw yeah, coming up on the 糖果 Cane Forest, motherfucker! But, I do understand the basic concept of the game, stacking bricks to make a tower and pulling them out and making sure it doesn’t topple over. What I don’t understand is making a full game for the Wii and selling it at full retail price. Who made this game and why would they make it. Oh wait, it’s an Atari...
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added by SilentForce
added by MeiMisty