ABC's of ex girlfriends
A
is for Arteries.
你 know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for 你 你 twit she was only after your money and could have 给 a shit about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when 你 took her out and she 说 "I'm not hungry" so 你 figured 你 could take her to a nice place because 你 were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate 更多 than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So 你 flip the bill and are broke for the 下一个 two weeks and she wonders why 你 were unable to call her that week and go see movies.

F
is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if 你 can even stand to look at her.

G
is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period.

H
is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, 你 figure it out.

I
stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors.

J
stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to 日期 her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.

K
stands for Kill.

L
is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon 由 both parties.

L
is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love.

M
stands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for.

N
stands for Necropheliac. She didn't 移动 very much, did she?

O
is for On top. When on 最佳, 返回页首 she has another O word.

P
is for Pill. She 说 she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing 你 for a few hundred bucks a month.

Q
is for Quitter. She couldn't last.

R
is for Rich little Bitch. She bought my 爱情 but I paid for it.

S
stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do.

T
is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured 你 with the truth. She also tortured 你 with lies.

U
is for Understatement. Saying 你 hate that 婊子, 子 is an understatement.

V
is for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason 你 were dating her in the first place.

W
stands for Whine. She was a pro at this.

X
is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.

Y
stands for 你 suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.

Z
stands for ZIPPER. This is what 你 got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!"

.
stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to 你 about taking what P stands for. It also means 你 won't get any for a week.