#1:
Nappa stops in mid-air.
Nappa: Vegeta!
Vegeta: What is it, Nappa!?
Nappa: I can fly.
Vegeta: (stammering) ...Yes, Nappa, yes 你 can.
#2:
Vegeta: Nappa, what are 你 doing?
Nappa: It's his turn, Vegeta. I have to wait for him.
Vegeta: Wha... I... uh... (nose starts to bleed)
Nappa: 你 okay, Vegeta?
Vegeta: Yes... just... just having an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity.
Nappa: Wow. (beat) Didn't think 你 were that stupid, Vegeta.
Vegeta: AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHGHHHH!!!!!
#3:
Vegeta: (loudly screams out of frustration) I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!! I WILL NOT BE HUMILIATED 由 A LOW-CLASS WRETCH!!!
Goku: Awww, sounds like somebody's got an ice cream headache...
Vegeta: THAT'S IT! EVERYONE DIES! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR PLANET KAKAROT!!
Goku: Hey, that's not very nice!
Vegeta: OF COURSE NOT, I'M FUCKIN EVIL!!
#4:
Krillin: 你 think 你 can kill all of our 老友记 and threaten our lives, and just leave?!
Vegeta: ... Would 你 be surprised if I 说 "yes"?
#5:
Vegeta: You... 你 cut through my armor! This was a gift from my father!
Yajirobe: (frantic) I'm sorry! I'm sure your father was a great man!
Vegeta: I HATED my father!
Yajirobe: Oh well, then I'm sure your father was a total prick.
Vegeta: (punches Yajirobe square in the face) HOW DARE 你 TALK ABOUT MY FATHER LIKE THAT!?!
#6:
Vegeta: Tell me something, which is your 最喜爱的 internal organ?
Doctor Lizard: What a odd question! But if I had to choose I guess I have to say my liver.
(Vegeta's shadow walks over him and cuts away while the doctor screams in agony as Vegeta doubtlessly removes 说 liver)
Vegeta (in head): 你 know, it's the simple things in life.
#7:
Vegeta: I-am-here-for-it.
Krillin: For what?
Vegeta: Dragon...ball. I...need...that-Dragonball. Give it to me. The-one-you-took. I need my wish.
Krillin: (scared) Are... 你 okay?
Ghost Nappa: I think your rage broke Vegeta.
Vegeta: SHUT UP GHOST OF NAPPA!
Krillin: What was that?
Vegeta: I'MNOTCRAZY!! YOU'RE CRAZY! Especially YOU, Nappa!
Ghost Nappa: Eeeeey!
Krillin: Who are 你 talking t—
Vegeta: Dragonball! Hand now, please!
Krillin: Um… I don't… really… have it…
(A blood vessel bursts in Vegeta's right eye, making it turn red)
Vegeta: No...
Krillin: What?
Vegeta: (weeping Tears of Blood) No...
Krillin: Uh...
Vegeta: (bearing down on Krillin) Noooo…
(Vegeta feels Guru powering up Gohan in the distance.)
Vegeta: (snaps back to reality) Huh—ha! Where am I? (notices Krillin) Why are 你 here? (Beat) Where's Nappa…?
Krillin: Didn't 你 kill him?
Vegeta: (quickly) YES. OF COURSE I DID. He's dead.. Forever.
#8:
Vegeta: Alrght 你 two. (close up to his mouth, and voice lowers) Strip
Krillin: What!?
Vegeta: I got 你 some armour.
#9:
Vegeta: esus, I overslept. It's already night...for the first time since I got here...on a planet with three suns." (Alarm clock in his head ticks, then goes off after several seconds, equaling the moment he realizes what happened) "Oh 你 motherFU-(cut back to the dragon)-CKERS!
#10:
Gohan: Wow dad? How did 你 get so strong?
Goku: Well I did train in Well, I did train at 100x normal gravity.
Vegeta: FUUUUUUUUUUUU
#11:
Vegeta: Oh my god! If he used that wish for immortalty. On himself! I'M GONNA MURD-... That. Bastard!
#12:
Dr Briffs: 你 want to train 100x earth's gravity? That's very dangerious.
Vegeta: Yes, I'm very hyped. Look at my nipples!.. (powers up angrily) LOOK AT THEM!!
#13:
Bulma: 你 说 你 were wearing protection!
Vegeta: I was! I was wearing my armor!
#14:
Gohan: How are Super Saiyan!?
Vegeta: (calmly) Oh, trust me. There's 更多 than one way to realize the legend.
(cue flashback)
Vegeta: (tears streaming down his face) I wanna! I wanna be a Super Saiyan! I wanna! (pounding the ground like a spoiled child) IwannaIwannaIwannaIwannaIwanna—
(back in the present)
Vegeta: Pushups, situps and plenty of juice.
#15:
Goku: (weakly) Hey, Vegeta...
Vegeta: Kakarot, 你 idiot. What are 你 doing?
Goku: Dying, mostly.
Vegeta: Idiot.
#16:
18: How quickly bravado goes out the window when you're flat on your a**. That's pretty sad.
Vegeta: (charges) Sad for YOUUUU-
(18 kicks Vegeta, breaking his arm)
Vegeta: (calmly walks to out of the fight zone, and falls too his knees) ... FUUUUUUU-
#17:
Vegeta: Okay, what the hell am I sensing? Is that the Namekian? Is that ME?! IS THAT ME STRONGER THAN ME?! I'LL FUCKING KILL ME!!
#18:
Vegeta: The fuck's a Kami?
Krillin: Basically, God.
Vegeta: BUT I'M STILL HERE!
Trunks: Do 你 really believe your own hype that much?
Vegeta: I AM THE HYPE!
#19:
Vegeta: HAH! your dad's dead!
Piccolo: So's yours!
Vegeta: HAH!
#20:
Vegeta: That's right Goku. And 你 wouldn't believe just how much I trained. 你 see, while I was training back there, I looked deep within myself, and-
(All 悟空 is hearing: Blah, blah, blah, pride! blah, blah, blah, prince of all! blah, blah. blah. Super Saiyan! Blaw, blah, blah!)
Vegeta: And through all of that, I have ascended! That's right, I have reached a new level! That's right, I'm finally! Stronger than you!
Goku: Neat!
Vegeta: FUCK YOU!!
#21:
Cell: I WANT TO BE PERFECT! I WANNA! I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA—(gets kicked face down into the ground) I WANNA! (muffled whimpering)
Vegeta: Excellent; I've broken both your body and your spirit. Time to die.
#22:
Vegeta: Boy, don't make me come up there and be a parent!
Trunks: First time for everything!
Vegeta: Oh-ho-ho!
#23:
Vegeta: They called me crazy. They ALL called me crazy!.. For letting him achieve his perfect form! Well, guess what! When I'm going to get out of here, I'm going to be so much stronger. No one will be able to stop me! Especially Cell! Right, Nappa?!
(cut to a 排球 with a crude drawing of Nappa's face on it holding on a 扫帚 which falls down)
Vegeta: How... HOW DARE YOU!! (goes super saiyan) AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
#24:
Krillin: Who here just thought of Freeza with boobs?
(awkward silence)
Krillin: Really? I'm the only one?
Vegeta: Yes! (thinking) He must never know.
#25:
[Cemmerical]
ACTOR 1: Hey, man. Is that the last Hetap?
ACTOR 2: Yeah, and it's all mine! (a gunshot is heard) Ahh! Ahh! Oh, God! Oh, Jesus! Why?! (another gunshot is heard)
NARRATOR: Hetap. Come on, (low, evil voice) you've killed for less.
Vegeta: (thinking) That's not UNtrue...
#26:
Yamcha: So where's Vegeta during all of this, anyway?
Krillin: Oh, I'm sure he's off somewhere…
(cut to Super Saiyan Vegeta standing in the middle of a wasteland)
Vegeta: GOD! DAMN IT! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!
(wasteland explodes before cutting back to Krillin)
Krillin: …coping.
#27: (not sure if this a real one, but it would fit).
Vegeta: Anyone else tired of this shit!?
Krillin: Yeah, I agr-
Vegeta: NO! SHUT UP!!
Nappa stops in mid-air.
Nappa: Vegeta!
Vegeta: What is it, Nappa!?
Nappa: I can fly.
Vegeta: (stammering) ...Yes, Nappa, yes 你 can.
#2:
Vegeta: Nappa, what are 你 doing?
Nappa: It's his turn, Vegeta. I have to wait for him.
Vegeta: Wha... I... uh... (nose starts to bleed)
Nappa: 你 okay, Vegeta?
Vegeta: Yes... just... just having an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity.
Nappa: Wow. (beat) Didn't think 你 were that stupid, Vegeta.
Vegeta: AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHGHHHH!!!!!
#3:
Vegeta: (loudly screams out of frustration) I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!! I WILL NOT BE HUMILIATED 由 A LOW-CLASS WRETCH!!!
Goku: Awww, sounds like somebody's got an ice cream headache...
Vegeta: THAT'S IT! EVERYONE DIES! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR PLANET KAKAROT!!
Goku: Hey, that's not very nice!
Vegeta: OF COURSE NOT, I'M FUCKIN EVIL!!
#4:
Krillin: 你 think 你 can kill all of our 老友记 and threaten our lives, and just leave?!
Vegeta: ... Would 你 be surprised if I 说 "yes"?
#5:
Vegeta: You... 你 cut through my armor! This was a gift from my father!
Yajirobe: (frantic) I'm sorry! I'm sure your father was a great man!
Vegeta: I HATED my father!
Yajirobe: Oh well, then I'm sure your father was a total prick.
Vegeta: (punches Yajirobe square in the face) HOW DARE 你 TALK ABOUT MY FATHER LIKE THAT!?!
#6:
Vegeta: Tell me something, which is your 最喜爱的 internal organ?
Doctor Lizard: What a odd question! But if I had to choose I guess I have to say my liver.
(Vegeta's shadow walks over him and cuts away while the doctor screams in agony as Vegeta doubtlessly removes 说 liver)
Vegeta (in head): 你 know, it's the simple things in life.
#7:
Vegeta: I-am-here-for-it.
Krillin: For what?
Vegeta: Dragon...ball. I...need...that-Dragonball. Give it to me. The-one-you-took. I need my wish.
Krillin: (scared) Are... 你 okay?
Ghost Nappa: I think your rage broke Vegeta.
Vegeta: SHUT UP GHOST OF NAPPA!
Krillin: What was that?
Vegeta: I'MNOTCRAZY!! YOU'RE CRAZY! Especially YOU, Nappa!
Ghost Nappa: Eeeeey!
Krillin: Who are 你 talking t—
Vegeta: Dragonball! Hand now, please!
Krillin: Um… I don't… really… have it…
(A blood vessel bursts in Vegeta's right eye, making it turn red)
Vegeta: No...
Krillin: What?
Vegeta: (weeping Tears of Blood) No...
Krillin: Uh...
Vegeta: (bearing down on Krillin) Noooo…
(Vegeta feels Guru powering up Gohan in the distance.)
Vegeta: (snaps back to reality) Huh—ha! Where am I? (notices Krillin) Why are 你 here? (Beat) Where's Nappa…?
Krillin: Didn't 你 kill him?
Vegeta: (quickly) YES. OF COURSE I DID. He's dead.. Forever.
#8:
Vegeta: Alrght 你 two. (close up to his mouth, and voice lowers) Strip
Krillin: What!?
Vegeta: I got 你 some armour.
#9:
Vegeta: esus, I overslept. It's already night...for the first time since I got here...on a planet with three suns." (Alarm clock in his head ticks, then goes off after several seconds, equaling the moment he realizes what happened) "Oh 你 motherFU-(cut back to the dragon)-CKERS!
#10:
Gohan: Wow dad? How did 你 get so strong?
Goku: Well I did train in Well, I did train at 100x normal gravity.
Vegeta: FUUUUUUUUUUUU
#11:
Vegeta: Oh my god! If he used that wish for immortalty. On himself! I'M GONNA MURD-... That. Bastard!
#12:
Dr Briffs: 你 want to train 100x earth's gravity? That's very dangerious.
Vegeta: Yes, I'm very hyped. Look at my nipples!.. (powers up angrily) LOOK AT THEM!!
#13:
Bulma: 你 说 你 were wearing protection!
Vegeta: I was! I was wearing my armor!
#14:
Gohan: How are Super Saiyan!?
Vegeta: (calmly) Oh, trust me. There's 更多 than one way to realize the legend.
(cue flashback)
Vegeta: (tears streaming down his face) I wanna! I wanna be a Super Saiyan! I wanna! (pounding the ground like a spoiled child) IwannaIwannaIwannaIwannaIwanna—
(back in the present)
Vegeta: Pushups, situps and plenty of juice.
#15:
Goku: (weakly) Hey, Vegeta...
Vegeta: Kakarot, 你 idiot. What are 你 doing?
Goku: Dying, mostly.
Vegeta: Idiot.
#16:
18: How quickly bravado goes out the window when you're flat on your a**. That's pretty sad.
Vegeta: (charges) Sad for YOUUUU-
(18 kicks Vegeta, breaking his arm)
Vegeta: (calmly walks to out of the fight zone, and falls too his knees) ... FUUUUUUU-
#17:
Vegeta: Okay, what the hell am I sensing? Is that the Namekian? Is that ME?! IS THAT ME STRONGER THAN ME?! I'LL FUCKING KILL ME!!
#18:
Vegeta: The fuck's a Kami?
Krillin: Basically, God.
Vegeta: BUT I'M STILL HERE!
Trunks: Do 你 really believe your own hype that much?
Vegeta: I AM THE HYPE!
#19:
Vegeta: HAH! your dad's dead!
Piccolo: So's yours!
Vegeta: HAH!
#20:
Vegeta: That's right Goku. And 你 wouldn't believe just how much I trained. 你 see, while I was training back there, I looked deep within myself, and-
(All 悟空 is hearing: Blah, blah, blah, pride! blah, blah, blah, prince of all! blah, blah. blah. Super Saiyan! Blaw, blah, blah!)
Vegeta: And through all of that, I have ascended! That's right, I have reached a new level! That's right, I'm finally! Stronger than you!
Goku: Neat!
Vegeta: FUCK YOU!!
#21:
Cell: I WANT TO BE PERFECT! I WANNA! I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA—(gets kicked face down into the ground) I WANNA! (muffled whimpering)
Vegeta: Excellent; I've broken both your body and your spirit. Time to die.
#22:
Vegeta: Boy, don't make me come up there and be a parent!
Trunks: First time for everything!
Vegeta: Oh-ho-ho!
#23:
Vegeta: They called me crazy. They ALL called me crazy!.. For letting him achieve his perfect form! Well, guess what! When I'm going to get out of here, I'm going to be so much stronger. No one will be able to stop me! Especially Cell! Right, Nappa?!
(cut to a 排球 with a crude drawing of Nappa's face on it holding on a 扫帚 which falls down)
Vegeta: How... HOW DARE YOU!! (goes super saiyan) AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
#24:
Krillin: Who here just thought of Freeza with boobs?
(awkward silence)
Krillin: Really? I'm the only one?
Vegeta: Yes! (thinking) He must never know.
#25:
[Cemmerical]
ACTOR 1: Hey, man. Is that the last Hetap?
ACTOR 2: Yeah, and it's all mine! (a gunshot is heard) Ahh! Ahh! Oh, God! Oh, Jesus! Why?! (another gunshot is heard)
NARRATOR: Hetap. Come on, (low, evil voice) you've killed for less.
Vegeta: (thinking) That's not UNtrue...
#26:
Yamcha: So where's Vegeta during all of this, anyway?
Krillin: Oh, I'm sure he's off somewhere…
(cut to Super Saiyan Vegeta standing in the middle of a wasteland)
Vegeta: GOD! DAMN IT! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!
(wasteland explodes before cutting back to Krillin)
Krillin: …coping.
#27: (not sure if this a real one, but it would fit).
Vegeta: Anyone else tired of this shit!?
Krillin: Yeah, I agr-
Vegeta: NO! SHUT UP!!
There was a boy called Jake who always got teased at school he got because he was different one 日 he he cme back to school it looked like a normal 日 but while everyone walked around Jake acted himself like every normal 日 but when the 钟, 贝尔 rang for clas he got a 44 火, 消防 arm he shot lot's of the kids teacher too so 你 let that be a lesson for 你 if 你 had not teased him he would have been fine who knows 你 could have even saved his life.
Afew days past and Jake was dead he had decided to shoot himself in the head many people blammed it all jake when really it was there own fault at take.
Afew days past and Jake was dead he had decided to shoot himself in the head many people blammed it all jake when really it was there own fault at take.
M R snakes.
M A no snakes.
O S M R snakes.
CDBDI's?
O S! M R snakes!
AAAAAAAAAA!
-My dad told me this one years and years ago. I'd almost forgotten it until tonight. Here's another one:
Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and liddlamszy divy.
-The answer: Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.
And an old knock-knock joke:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
香蕉 who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
香蕉 who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
香蕉 who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
橙子, 橙色 who?
橙子, 橙色 你 glad I didn't say 香蕉 again?
Hope 你 had fun!
M A no snakes.
O S M R snakes.
CDBDI's?
O S! M R snakes!
AAAAAAAAAA!
-My dad told me this one years and years ago. I'd almost forgotten it until tonight. Here's another one:
Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and liddlamszy divy.
-The answer: Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.
And an old knock-knock joke:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
香蕉 who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
香蕉 who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
香蕉 who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
橙子, 橙色 who?
橙子, 橙色 你 glad I didn't say 香蕉 again?
Hope 你 had fun!
It was around 12:30 and I was at the grocery, I was busy getting some apples when a teenage boy goes over to me and hands me a cold bottle of water and a magazine. I thanked him, but apon 阅读 the magazine it was full of lies. It was trying to convert me to Christianity, so before I drank the water, I threw the ice-cold water in his face, dropped the magazine, and 说 "If your so-called "God" exsisted, why didn't he stop me from doing that?" The boy simply replied "Because your denying his love". Right away, I replied "Oh please, If there was a God, I bet 你 he'd rather prefer a good honest Athiest than a preacher on Televison going around lying about his healing powers". He was angered "And how do 你 know who God would prefer?!" If it was even possible at the time, I was calmer than before and answered. "The very same way the bible was made". I smiled warmly as I saw him stomp away with anger.
