2. We like to be called pretty often. Tell it to us 或者 someone else will.
3. We 婊子, 子 about EVERYTHING. Let us rant for a little while.
4. If 你 won't hold our hands in public, forget us blowing 你 in private.
5. There can never be too much spooning. Bitches 爱情 Cuddling.
6. There's nothing we like 更多 than 你 hugging us from behind and whispering something in our ear.
7. Foreplay is not an option….. it's a prerequisite.
8. OPEN THE DOOR FOR US.
9. Make us feel like the only girl in the room, no matter where we are.
10. Please us in bed, 或者 your friend will.
11. We fake orgasms.
12. The concept of premenstrual syndrome was invented 由 a woman in Iowa who was trying to come up with a way to call her husband shit-for-brains without repercussions. MEANING we have an excuse once a 月 for being a complete asshole, 你 don't.
13. Send us 花 for no apparent reason.
14. If 你 cry 更多 than we do thats a major no no.
15. 你 can think girls are hot but don't let us know.
16. We most likely have snooped through your phone at least once… 或者 twice.
17. Talk dirty to us in bed.
18. Girls are much better liars than boys so when your lying we can probably tell.
19. Manicures, our hair and jewelry are a few of our 最喜爱的 things.
20. If 你 don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria's Secret models.
21. Don't act differently towards us in front of your friends. Treat us better than 你 usually do.
22. Make out with us in front of people 你 know. It makes us feel special and wanted.
23. 你 are most likely never going to have a threesome with us so 你 might as well give up.
24. We go to the bathroom in groups to talk about you…. 或者 to do coke.
25. We talk about sex way 更多 than 你 do.
26. Shaving is a major bitch. But if we do it, 你 better do the same.
27. Don't flirt with our friends.
28. Rest assured, we may not have “liked” your picture, but we definitely saw it.
29. We can be dirt poor but still find the money for new shoes.
30. We understand 你 don't care what we're wearing but complaint it anyway WE CARE WHAT WE'RE WEARING.
31. Being pale to us is social suicide.
32. When 你 break up with us, that means it's over, and we will only sleep with 你 two 或者 three 更多 times.
33. No matter who 你 are 或者 what 你 look like, it's always flattering when 你 hit on us.
34. It's a proven fact that girls get colder than guys hence why we want to cuddle after sex.
35. 你 look sexiest in a tux.
36. Girls can take selfies, men most certainly can not.
37. If we 爱情 you, there is nothing so filthy that 你 can't say it in bed.
38. When we say, 'I don't like to play games,' it's because we are very experienced at playing games.
39. "You aren't the only one who thinks that two women having sex is hot. If we haven't tried it, most of us have at least imagined what it would be like to 吻乐队（Kiss） a pair of shiny red lips." - Maria Bello.
40. 你 ALWAYS have to side with us.
41. We like when 你 feel comfortable telling us little things about you.
42. We 爱情 good morning texts from you.
43. We need 你 to be reachable at all times, but we don't always pick up our phones when 你 call. We realize this seems like a double standard.
44. Bad breathe is the biggest turn off.
45. Our enemies better not be your friends.
46. When we ask 你 how your 日 was we expect an answer a little longer than just "fine."
47. We understand if we ask 你 whats wrong and 你 say nothing but we will keep trying to get something out of you.
48. "Women are interested in A-list things: A designers, A vacations, A orgasms." -Kim Cattrall
49. Comfort us and try to make us feel better when we're upset.
50. We always want half of your dessert… but will never order it. So men, ORDER IT.
51. We have stalked your exs on 脸谱 and Instagram.
52. We want 你 to make the first move.
53. We 爱情 cheesy romantic comedies.
54. 你 want us skinny, we want to see a six pack.
55. Do not try too hard to make sense of the strange dynamics of female friendships. We can hate our 老友记 one 日 and 爱情 them the next.
56. If we go down on 你 we expect 你 to return the favor…. and please guys don't use your teeth while you're down there.
57. The trashier the reality TV 显示 the better.
58. We know 你 watch porn.. And that's fine, watch all the porn 你 want as long as you're not physically having sex with anyone then we are fine.
59. Our beauty routine takes time. Be patient.
60. We only go down if 你 keep your 草 cut.
61. We want to take cheesy couple pics so we can 显示 the world how cute we look.
62. No part of us wants to know how much your mom loved your ex.
63. Us watching 你 play video games does not count as spending quality time together. In fact, we hate watching 你 play video games ever.
64. 你 are required to like our best friend and if 你 don't, fake it.
65. We want to meet your family and for them to like us.
66. Wine is the quickest way to get a girl talking.
67. Women always win in arguments. Give up.
68. We hate your taste. We will never agree who 你 drool over, unless it's Megan Fox.
69. We like 你 to be jealous.
70. We are constantly on our iPhones. We're not bored it's just habit.
71. We can have guy friends, this does not mean we are having sex with them.
72. "I was drunk" is not an excuse for cheating, 或者 being an asshole. Two can play that game.
73. Include us in things.
74. 塔科, 炸玉米饼 钟, 贝尔 或者 any fast 食物 restaurant is not an acceptable place to take us on a date… EVER.
75. 50 shades of Grey changed the sex world for us all. Tie us down and use props.
76. We don't want to hear about your ex girlfriend.
77. We most definitely do not want to watch the sports game.
78. We are emotional and cry a whole lot.
79. This is how we see it, don't call = don't care.
80. We expect 你 to remember our anniversary. Game over if 你 forget.
81. Don't take too long to reply to our texts, we aren't as patient as 你 men.
82. We can be late, 你 can't.
83. Way to tell if you're being an asshole… Would 你 like it if a guy treated your sister that way? Didn't think so.
84. We like PDA and don't care if 你 don't.
85. We still stalk our exes regularly… this doesn't mean we still have feelings for them but as long as social media exists we will continue keeping tabs on their lives.
86. How to satisfy a women is easy. Cuddle with her.
87. The silent treatment is indication that 你 did something wrong.
88. We 爱情 when 你 have a nickname for us that only 你 use.
89. Even if 你 think it is cool to burp, fart, 或者 emit other strange gases from your body, it is not.
90. We 爱情 it when 你 ask for our advice.
91. At the end of the 日 we would pick a guy with a fantastic personality who can make us laugh over a guy with a hot body no matter how much we tell our 老友记 otherwise…
92. Never 显示 up to a bar in athletic shoes/attire…. Speaking of appropriate attire "wife beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
93. Don't seem too needy but also don't seem to distant.
94. Thanks to DIsney, we all believe in fairy tale endings and expect 你 to provide us with one. Don't disappoint.
95. We may order salads in front of 你 but trust me our mouths are watering for that cheese burger 你 ordered.
96. Take us on the craziest 日期 你 can think of. We are bored of the traditional movie and 晚餐 dates.
97. Our future weddings already planned out in our heads. Don't think we're psychotic thats just what us girls do.
98. Play with our hair and massage us. We will 爱情 你 for it.
99. If we really 爱情 you, we will do anything in our power not to let 你 go.
100.We couldn't 爱情 anything 更多 than when 你 tell us "I 爱情 you."
Just 阅读 some of the 《终结者》 语录 through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash 日 tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. 你 might get annoyed 由 it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash 日 tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. 你 might get annoyed 由 it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
This is a My Little 小马 粉丝 fiction. If 你 do not like talking 马 that come in different colors, run for your life.
Song: link
France, 1938
Two stallions were walking to a warden at a jail. They were outside, near the exit where all the prisoners were lined up.
SeanTheHedgehog Presents
Pierce Hawkins as....
Papillon
Police 小马 54: All present, and accounted for sir.
Warden: Thank you.
Also starring Dragonaura15's Metal Gloss
Police 小马 95: *Playing drums for five seconds*
Warden: As of this moment, 你 will all be transferred...
continue reading...
Song: link
As the green lines come closer, so do the words.
France, 1938
Two stallions were walking to a warden at a jail. They were outside, near the exit where all the prisoners were lined up.
SeanTheHedgehog Presents
Pierce Hawkins as....
Papillon
Police 小马 54: All present, and accounted for sir.
Warden: Thank you.
Also starring Dragonaura15's Metal Gloss
Police 小马 95: *Playing drums for five seconds*
Warden: As of this moment, 你 will all be transferred...
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.
On May 27, 2016, a war was started 由 a Hungarian named Gergely Szórád. He started this war on a website on the internet called Fanpop. He replaced an icon, using a picture that had Starlight Glimmer in it. Gergely also threatened to kill anyone that opposed the new 图标 he created. This angered millions, and 分裂, 拆分 the My Little 小马 fandom into two. The S.G. Bronies, (the bad guys), and the Anti S.G. Bronies, (the good guys.) This war also created a new law in April 12, 2018, all forms of entertainment...
