I found this and found it hilarious:
"The Metric System
"Walks like a foot, talks like a foot, but it's really 30.48 centimeters."
Admit it: America is really screwed up when it comes to measuring anything. We waste a ton of time in school learning our totally whack system. And of course nobody ever remembers how it all works. Who (besides me) knows:
How many ounces in a gallon? (128)
How many inches in a mile? (63,360)
How many acres in a square mile? (625)
How many scruples in a pound? (288)
How many minims in a pint? (7,680)
Okay, those last two were kind of cheating. They don't even try to teach 你 about scruples and drams and pecks in school. (But just so 你 know, there are 24 grains to a pennyweight.)
They do try to teach the metric system. But everyone acts like it's some kind of commie thing that only French people 或者 scientists would use. This ignores the fact that everyone else in the whole world is down with it. Even the English, who invented our whack system and then ditched us with it.
Now, this is all fine with me. If we used the metric system, any normal daylight dweebhead could do the math:
How many grams in a kilogram. (Duh. 1000)
How many meters in a kilometer. (Duh. 1000)
How many milliliters in a liter? (Duh. 1000)
How many femtoliters in a yottaliter? (Um . . . )
Okay, that last one's tricky. But not that tricky. It's a one with 39 zeros after it. At least in metric, the answer's ALWAYS a one with zeros after it.
Now, of course, this would be no fun for math-heads like me, who in our whacko-US system rule the world like a colossus. We know all the 答案 while the math-impaired struggle with how many teaspoons in a tablespoon. (Um, oh crap. Four?)
Anyway, I was ranting about all of this to my Social Studies teacher, Mr. Ortega, and he let me in on this hilarious secret: In the United States we actually DO use the metric system. Not just when we buy a liter of 可乐 或者 a gram of whatever, but ALL THE TIME. We've been using it secretly since 1959.
Here's what happened. 由 the 1950s, the rare but powerful smart people of the USA had gotten really tired of us being the measurement retards of the entire world. Everywhere else was happily being metric, but whenever anything crossed our borders it had to be converted from metric to USA-whacko units. And the very real problem with that was this very weird fact: Two different measurement systems can NEVER be converted between exactly.
Huh?
Sorry to frazzle your brain, but it's true. Before 1959, when someone 说 that there were 2.5 centimeters to a US inch, they were just faking it. So was it 2.54? Still not exactly. 2.5417362519? Close but no cigar. In fact, 你 could have gone on adding a million digits past the decimal point and 你 wouldn't ever get there. It's like pi; 你 may get closer and closer, but 你 will never reach the cigar. Weird, huh? But true.
So in 1959, the good old USA surrendered to the French commie metric system. In the middle of the night, probably, President Eisenhower signed this law that changed the foot we'd been using up until then into something called "the international foot." This foot looks like a foot, talks like a foot, walks like a foot, but it's actually metric. It is EXACTLY 30.48 centimeters. The same quietly signed law redefined all our other measurements in metric terms as well.
That was that. The commies won, we lost.
Of course, we Americans still have to remember that there are 5280 feet in a mile. Only it's a metric mile now. Even if nobody knows it.
Suckers."
LOL.
"The Metric System
"Walks like a foot, talks like a foot, but it's really 30.48 centimeters."
Admit it: America is really screwed up when it comes to measuring anything. We waste a ton of time in school learning our totally whack system. And of course nobody ever remembers how it all works. Who (besides me) knows:
How many ounces in a gallon? (128)
How many inches in a mile? (63,360)
How many acres in a square mile? (625)
How many scruples in a pound? (288)
How many minims in a pint? (7,680)
Okay, those last two were kind of cheating. They don't even try to teach 你 about scruples and drams and pecks in school. (But just so 你 know, there are 24 grains to a pennyweight.)
They do try to teach the metric system. But everyone acts like it's some kind of commie thing that only French people 或者 scientists would use. This ignores the fact that everyone else in the whole world is down with it. Even the English, who invented our whack system and then ditched us with it.
Now, this is all fine with me. If we used the metric system, any normal daylight dweebhead could do the math:
How many grams in a kilogram. (Duh. 1000)
How many meters in a kilometer. (Duh. 1000)
How many milliliters in a liter? (Duh. 1000)
How many femtoliters in a yottaliter? (Um . . . )
Okay, that last one's tricky. But not that tricky. It's a one with 39 zeros after it. At least in metric, the answer's ALWAYS a one with zeros after it.
Now, of course, this would be no fun for math-heads like me, who in our whacko-US system rule the world like a colossus. We know all the 答案 while the math-impaired struggle with how many teaspoons in a tablespoon. (Um, oh crap. Four?)
Anyway, I was ranting about all of this to my Social Studies teacher, Mr. Ortega, and he let me in on this hilarious secret: In the United States we actually DO use the metric system. Not just when we buy a liter of 可乐 或者 a gram of whatever, but ALL THE TIME. We've been using it secretly since 1959.
Here's what happened. 由 the 1950s, the rare but powerful smart people of the USA had gotten really tired of us being the measurement retards of the entire world. Everywhere else was happily being metric, but whenever anything crossed our borders it had to be converted from metric to USA-whacko units. And the very real problem with that was this very weird fact: Two different measurement systems can NEVER be converted between exactly.
Huh?
Sorry to frazzle your brain, but it's true. Before 1959, when someone 说 that there were 2.5 centimeters to a US inch, they were just faking it. So was it 2.54? Still not exactly. 2.5417362519? Close but no cigar. In fact, 你 could have gone on adding a million digits past the decimal point and 你 wouldn't ever get there. It's like pi; 你 may get closer and closer, but 你 will never reach the cigar. Weird, huh? But true.
So in 1959, the good old USA surrendered to the French commie metric system. In the middle of the night, probably, President Eisenhower signed this law that changed the foot we'd been using up until then into something called "the international foot." This foot looks like a foot, talks like a foot, walks like a foot, but it's actually metric. It is EXACTLY 30.48 centimeters. The same quietly signed law redefined all our other measurements in metric terms as well.
That was that. The commies won, we lost.
Of course, we Americans still have to remember that there are 5280 feet in a mile. Only it's a metric mile now. Even if nobody knows it.
Suckers."
LOL.
CAALLIIOOPPEE CHHAANNEELL!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's me your host Invader Calliope ^^
Can 你 believe were already on our ninth episode!
TIME SURE FLIES!Welcome to another happy episode of Calliope Channel! Well today were gonna bring another character out! And it's.....Lardnard!
Invader Calliope:SO COME OUT!
Lardnard:Oh *falls*
Invader Calliope:You sound like some nerdy turtle.
Lardnard:Well umm i'm here.
Invader Calliope:FINALLY THINGS ARE PICKING UP AROUND HERE!
Lardnard:Yeah!
Invader Calliope:Yeah.That's how 你 respond.
Lardnard:Umm is there a problem.
Invader Calliope:Ohhh nothing! Oh NO WERE OUTTA TIME BYE ME!
The End!
It's me your host Invader Calliope ^^
Can 你 believe were already on our ninth episode!
TIME SURE FLIES!Welcome to another happy episode of Calliope Channel! Well today were gonna bring another character out! And it's.....Lardnard!
Invader Calliope:SO COME OUT!
Lardnard:Oh *falls*
Invader Calliope:You sound like some nerdy turtle.
Lardnard:Well umm i'm here.
Invader Calliope:FINALLY THINGS ARE PICKING UP AROUND HERE!
Lardnard:Yeah!
Invader Calliope:Yeah.That's how 你 respond.
Lardnard:Umm is there a problem.
Invader Calliope:Ohhh nothing! Oh NO WERE OUTTA TIME BYE ME!
The End!
CCAALLIIOOPPEE
CCHHAANNEEL!
HIA EVERYONE WELCOME TO CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS NICE TO SEE 你 AGAIN!
I WILL BE GIVING 你 120 PERCENT!
TODAYS SPECAIL GUEST 星, 星级 IS....
Dib:DIIIB!
Invader Calliope:HEY!
Dib:What?
Invader Calliope: DON'T 你 EVER CUT ME OFF AGAIN!
Dib:I'M SORRY!
Invader Calliope:THIS IS'NT KIDS PLAY! SO 你 BETTER HANDLE YOUR SELF 或者 I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR OFF INVADER ZIM!
Dib:I'm sorry! I'm really very sorry!
Invader Calliope:Ok because Dib was so horrible I will end the 显示 earlyer!Bye!
The End
CCHHAANNEEL!
HIA EVERYONE WELCOME TO CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS NICE TO SEE 你 AGAIN!
I WILL BE GIVING 你 120 PERCENT!
TODAYS SPECAIL GUEST 星, 星级 IS....
Dib:DIIIB!
Invader Calliope:HEY!
Dib:What?
Invader Calliope: DON'T 你 EVER CUT ME OFF AGAIN!
Dib:I'M SORRY!
Invader Calliope:THIS IS'NT KIDS PLAY! SO 你 BETTER HANDLE YOUR SELF 或者 I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR OFF INVADER ZIM!
Dib:I'm sorry! I'm really very sorry!
Invader Calliope:Ok because Dib was so horrible I will end the 显示 earlyer!Bye!
The End
Today i am going to make up a crazy story about me going to the beach!
Characters:
Me::InvaderCalliope*
InvaderGore: *my sister*
Mom: *my mother*
Dad: *My dad*
Brother: *my brother*
Gus: *my ferret*
Time to start!
*At home*
InvaderCalliope:*reading manga*
InvaderGore:*watching tv*
Gus:*sleeping*
Mom:KIDS WE ARE GOING TO THE BEACH!
Dad:what about me
Mom:Sorry but your staying 首页 and watching the fish!
Gus:YAY I'M GOING!
InvaderCalliope:Well this will be intresting.
InvaderGore:What are we riding?
Mom:WE ARE GOING 由 TRAIN!
Everyone elese:O_O
InvaderCalliope:Why don't we just go 由 car.
Mom:BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA GO BYE CAR!
InvaderCalliope: Ok,Ok
On Train
Now at the beach!
InvaderGore:Were finally here!
InvaderCalliope:Let's have some fun!
Gus:YEAH!
The End!
Characters:
Me::InvaderCalliope*
InvaderGore: *my sister*
Mom: *my mother*
Dad: *My dad*
Brother: *my brother*
Gus: *my ferret*
Time to start!
*At home*
InvaderCalliope:*reading manga*
InvaderGore:*watching tv*
Gus:*sleeping*
Mom:KIDS WE ARE GOING TO THE BEACH!
Dad:what about me
Mom:Sorry but your staying 首页 and watching the fish!
Gus:YAY I'M GOING!
InvaderCalliope:Well this will be intresting.
InvaderGore:What are we riding?
Mom:WE ARE GOING 由 TRAIN!
Everyone elese:O_O
InvaderCalliope:Why don't we just go 由 car.
Mom:BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA GO BYE CAR!
InvaderCalliope: Ok,Ok
On Train
Now at the beach!
InvaderGore:Were finally here!
InvaderCalliope:Let's have some fun!
Gus:YEAH!
The End!
i 爱情 cereal yes i do
i 爱情 cereal how bout you
coco pufe
ceriose
cookie crisp
wasting cerial is a risk
i 爱情 cerial yes i do i 爱情 cerial 你 better to
it is breakfast
most important meal
if 你 can't have crealeal
do not steal
i 爱情 creal yes we do i 爱情 ceral 你 should to
it is healfy
for your brain
for test math and englesh
even frech and science
i 爱情 ccerale yes i do
i 爱情 crealy how about you
me and my firend made this up what are some 随意 songs 你 made up plz commet
i 爱情 cereal how bout you
coco pufe
ceriose
cookie crisp
wasting cerial is a risk
i 爱情 cerial yes i do i 爱情 cerial 你 better to
it is breakfast
most important meal
if 你 can't have crealeal
do not steal
i 爱情 creal yes we do i 爱情 ceral 你 should to
it is healfy
for your brain
for test math and englesh
even frech and science
i 爱情 ccerale yes i do
i 爱情 crealy how about you
me and my firend made this up what are some 随意 songs 你 made up plz commet
2.if u r on your peroid 或者 nawt!!
3.Who 你 talk 2 on the phone
4.THat 你 are super jelous 或者 other girls (or boys)
5.That 你 hate most of his family.
6.THat when a crisi comes up 你 will run to him
7.What yuor style is!!
8.That like to watch scary movies(LOL)
9.That 你 have an internet profile.
10.AND the last your cell number!! OMG they practliy break the phone!!!
11.How smart 你 are at fixing things.
GIRLS STAY KEWL,BEAUTYFUL, and if any guys try to break tht BREAK THEYRE FACe!!!!
esah
because he's a stupid perverted boy. I was having a normal conversation with him then he out of the blue accused me of "wanting to be with him" of not being a virgin. Repeatedly insulted me(i wont repeat what he said) and tried to "seduce" me. And now hes trying to flirt with me
Yes K5-HOWL has 迷失 her mind because of the sick bitches in this world,
This is just a simple warning thing. This is not to be cruel just to warn fellow fanpoppers of who to stay away from.
-___- He just gave his phone number, that ticks me off. I will post 更新 if 你 want :)
because he's a stupid perverted boy. I was having a normal conversation with him then he out of the blue accused me of "wanting to be with him" of not being a virgin. Repeatedly insulted me(i wont repeat what he said) and tried to "seduce" me. And now hes trying to flirt with me
Yes K5-HOWL has 迷失 her mind because of the sick bitches in this world,
This is just a simple warning thing. This is not to be cruel just to warn fellow fanpoppers of who to stay away from.
-___- He just gave his phone number, that ticks me off. I will post 更新 if 你 want :)
when that 天使 sits on my shoulder
whispers into my 心
a peace , a harmony
a bliss feeling of out of control
the 天使 appears to 你 in form of desire
你 float along with the force of ...
woooooooooooooooo
你 jump about
cos 你 cant sit down
the power of jolly drunk without the drink
the power to make others happy
this 天使 with her good intensions
will make 你 fly
the 天使 will make 你 cry
the 天使 will make 你 feel how others feel
so 你 can empathise
and be ver wise in emotionial terms
theres an internal war
between the 天使 and the death
they fight feroususly
but they dont even relise
they have both already 迷失
whispers into my 心
a peace , a harmony
a bliss feeling of out of control
the 天使 appears to 你 in form of desire
你 float along with the force of ...
woooooooooooooooo
你 jump about
cos 你 cant sit down
the power of jolly drunk without the drink
the power to make others happy
this 天使 with her good intensions
will make 你 fly
the 天使 will make 你 cry
the 天使 will make 你 feel how others feel
so 你 can empathise
and be ver wise in emotionial terms
theres an internal war
between the 天使 and the death
they fight feroususly
but they dont even relise
they have both already 迷失
"I promise my dear that i will tell no one of what 你 will tell me today " 说 the man .
"Alright but 你 will not like what i tell 你 .' 'I do not know where to begin ."
"Just start with your name I am willing to listen " 说 the man " i am doctor after all."
"ok , my name is Melody Willgrove and i am a werewolf "
alright if 你 want hear 更多 . tell me because that was just a prologue .sorry if it bored u