1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks 你 To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your rubbish bin On Your 台, 办公桌 And Label It 'In.'
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks
Once Everyone is Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your cheques, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'
7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever 你 go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A 诗歌 Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put 蚊子 Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Have Your colleagues address 你 由 Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
16. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'
17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The car park, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'
18. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of 你 Go.'