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posted by yoj123
I was walking 首页 from walmart when a carrot fell from the sky and started talking to me then an air raid siren went off and flying pigs were dropping sausage rolls that blew up into smiley faces when they hit the ground then a 鲸, 鲸鱼 drove 由 in his sedan and 说 happy 万圣节前夕 to me then micheal Jackson did the moonwalk on the moon with a cow.


I was like wow I went 首页 and played wit my xbox, PIE!

And a cat grew a 鱼 tail and swam away from a basketball

Watch out CHAINSAW MONKEY!


Gggggvgggghfgjsfkfxhjcbkfzhjvxhjxgjcftafhvcihgfxbvzgcdgfgvff
posted by McDreamyluva
Here's the famous 'Best Divorce Letter' 由 Dan to Connie, pretty hilarious, definitely a must read! xD



Dear Connie,

I know the counselor 说 we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

The 日 你 left, I swore I'd never talk to 你 again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first on to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always 你 who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you....
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Source: 谷歌
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Source: Smarthphowned.com
added by Mallory101
As a proud visitor of forty-four of the fifty United States, I am a bit of a self-taught expert in amusing oneself on long rides in motor vehicles. Whether 你 are the driver, riding shotgun, 或者 sitting in the back, there is a plethora of ways to make 说 drive go 由 much faster.
One way to take a long, boring drive across the never changing flatness of Nebraska 或者 Oklahoma, and mold it into an enjoyable spending of one’s time is to engage in a physical fight with a sibling. This works best when 你 are driving and the sibling is in the back seat. It does not matter if the 说 sibling is...
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added by liridonarama96
added by gkazeuishida
posted by NatalieSunshine
1.Run with her on the beach.
2.Give her your sweater when she’s cold.
3.Never talk about other girls infront of her.
4.Learn to play the 吉他 for her.
5.Comfort her when she’s scared.
6.Watch the sunset with her.
7.If she can’t sleep read her a bedtime story.
8.If 你 get in a fight with her and she starts crying,just stop and hold her.
9.Never force her to do anything.
10.Call her beautifull,especially when she least expects it.
11.Never let her walk alone.
12.Play with her hair when she’s laying on your chest.
13.Always make the first move.
14.Never lie to her she’ll find out.
15.Kiss her when...
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