Why did 你 kill this person Carl?

I do not kill people. That is my least favourite thing to do.

Because I had a rumbly in my tummy that only hands could satisfy.

I WAS HUNGRY! *sobs in corner* Carl was so FAT and FULL of blood....dont yell at me...a Vamp must eat!

Because She PEED On Me!!! O.o

Because he was being a bitch. >:U

What's it to ya?

His names is like mine but without a letter xd

Because he 偷了 my mother f*cking cookie..and 你 KNOW how i get without my cookie...

because I am the very model of a modern major general.

Well he uh,he was taking all the crescent rolls.

I didn't! I've been set up! It was all that damn swordfish's fault. He promised me a wish because I saved him from Nosferatu and his evil band of vampire 鼬, 雪貂 men, so I wished that I would never have to take a blood test again. So he gave me a magical energy 星, 星级 fridge of blood to give to the doctor when I was supposed to take a blood test. And when I asked him where it was from, he told me, and then he just turned into a fart 云, 云计算 and left.

I went to find poor Carl's body to give him a proper burial, and as I was carrying the body to take it to the police, Lady GaGa and 凯莎 got into a catfight 下一个 to me. One of the paparazzi got a picture of me holding dead Carl, and now I'm wanted for MURDER.

DAMN YOU, 你 SWORDFISH BASTARD! *shakes fist while looking at the sky, although nothing is there*

Listen, Sloppy Joe promised me 1000 甜甜圈 if I committed the murder! I had too. Besides, Carl was my friend that kept dying anyway. I might as well finish the job. And with Carl's luck he'll probably come back to life again then die. Then the cycle will repeat.