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posted by Peaceandlove67
After losing my best friend, Barry, I slipped into a depression. My grandparents refused to see me. My less consistent 老友记 turned their backs on me. The only ones there for me were my aunt and uncle, my brother, Daniel, and my cousin, Barbara Ann. I had very little, if any, self-confidence. I didn't even try to confront Grandpa again, fearing he would beat me again. The only thing that brought me any happiness was music. I still enjoyed the Beatles above all others, but I liked to explore different bands as well. I overheard someone talking about a metal band called System of a Down, so I decided to check them out. I never listened to metal before. I picked up a CD titled, "Steal This Album!" I listened to it, and I fell in 爱情 with it. I felt a connection with some of the lyrics in the song, "Ego Brain".

"You see my pain is real
Watch my world dissolve
And pretend that none of us see the fall."

What I took from that lyric is this. The songwriter is experiencing a lot of emotional pain, and he's pretending that he's all right. It made me feel better knowing that somebody out there knew how I was feeling. I still wished I had some friends, but I was getting nothing but bullied. In life science, I learned that I was ugly, a loser, and a freak. In English, I learned that I don't belong. In mathematics, I learned that I was lame. Should I go on? No, I think I covered it well. One thing I didn't learn was why no one helped me. I went 首页 crying one day. Daniel said, "Hey, little sis. Are 你 okay?" I said, "No." He asked, "What's wrong?" I said, "It's nothing. Forget I 说 anything." He said, "No, it's okay. 你 can tell me." I said, "I'm a freak." He said, "Erin, 你 are not a freak." I then said, "And I'm a loser." He said, "No, Erin!" I said, "And I don't belong." He said, "Oh, my God! Where on Earth did 你 get ideas like that?" I said, "That's all I ever get told in school. No one ever helps me. Nobody cares." He said, "Erin, I had no idea all this was going on." I said, "Nobody loves me." He said, "That's bullshit, and 你 know it!" He told my aunt and uncle. My aunt said, "Erin, we all 爱情 你 very much." My uncle said, "That's right. Don't ever think 你 are not loved. If someone's picking on you, please tell us. We'll try to fix it." My aunt paid a visit to the school. The bullying slowed down, but I still wished I had friends. Everybody needs a least one friend.
posted by Peaceandlove67
Finding a Way to Unwind
Later that day, I was walking down the 街, 街道 with Allen. He did most of the talking. I mostly listened. He then said, "John, you're a little quiet. What's wrong?" I said, "Nothing." He said, "I know something's wrong." I told him about my nightmare and how it forced me to get up early. Allen said, "That's a terrible nightmare." I said, "I tell myself that I'm fine, but I'm not sure if I am." He said, "You're obviously traumatized from almost being killed." I said, "Yeah." He said, "You know what 你 need, a way to relax. Have 你 ever tried camping?" I said, "No." He...
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posted by Peaceandlove67
Why Do 你 Expect Me to Help You? Did 你 Forget What 你 Have Done to Me?
It was summer, and I was sitting outside with Allen, talking about nothing. Just then, Uncle Bob called for me to come inside. When I came in, he said, "Pastor Thomas is on the phone. He asked to speak with you." I said, "Tell him I died." Uncle Bob said, "I don't think he'd fall for that." Reluctantly, I picked up the phone. "Hello," I said. Pastor Thomas said, "Hello, John. Is that you?" I said, "Yeah. Who's to know?" He said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I need your help. Lately, I have been having trouble keeping...
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posted by Peaceandlove67
I Didn't Know We Go to the Same School
One day, I went to the local park, and I brought my 吉他 with me. I sang "Here Comes the Sun" 由 the Beatles. Then, somebody came up to me and started 唱歌 along. He had long hair like me, but he had a beard, and his hair was darker than mine. He appeared to be around my age, sixteen 或者 so. When I finished the song, I said, "You're a good singer." He said, "Thank you. You're quite good yourself." I said, "Thanks." He asked, "Did I disturb you?" I said, "Oh, no, no, no! I 爱情 it when people sing along." He smiled. After a moment of silence, he said,...
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posted by Peaceandlove67
First 日 of School
It was my first 日 at Redshore High School. 圣诞节 Vacation was officially over. I was a little nervous about my new school mates, fearing that I wouldn't be accepted, 给 my treatment in Devil's Garden. The kids of Redshore were friendly to me, 或者 so it seemed. At the end of the day, some of them said, "Hey, John, slide down the rails of the staircase." I was afraid that I would hurt myself, and I initially refused. One of them said, "Come on! It'll make 你 cool." Of course, I wanted to be cool, I mean, who wouldn't? I attempted it, but I unfortunately slipped off...
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posted by Peaceandlove67
Introduction
It was my first 日 in Redshore, California. It was December 26, 1987. Because of all the abuse I was taking in Devil's Garden, I decided to live with my uncle, Bob. Uncle Bob worked at the local bar, Alien Slim. It was usually just me in the house. Uncle Bob never married, never had children, and didn't even have a girlfriend. He never had pets, either, for he was allergic. Luckily, I didn't 移动 to Redshore empty-handed. I brought my 吉他 and my extensive record collection with me. Thanks to Pastor Thomas, I no longer had my dog, Beatle. My only solace was my record collection,...
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posted by Peaceandlove67
What a Way to Spend Christmas
It was 圣诞节 Day. It had snowed, and the ground was covered in snow. After 圣诞节 dinner, John decided to take his dog for a walk. Along the way, he encountered Pastor Thomas. John knew that Pastor Thomas saw him and politely said, "Hello." Pastor Thomas said, "Hello, John." John continued walking. Pastor Thomas asked, "What are 你 doing 由 yourself at this hour? Aren't 你 afraid someone will try to punish 你 for your sin?" John said, "No." Pastor Thomas said, "Well, 你 should be afraid, very afraid." John looked confused. Pastor Thomas reached in his...
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posted by Peaceandlove67
Go Cut Your Hair!
One day, John decided to go to the park to spark change in Devil's Garden. He thought that maybe his plan would work in the park. It obviously wasn't going to work at the church. With his mother's permission, he went to the park with his guitar. He stood near the statue of the town's founder and sang a song that he wrote called "Brainwashed 由 Corruption." Unfortunately, the song did not get any praise. His school mates, save for Randall, began throwing rocks at him. They even shouted, "Go cut your hair!" John begged them to stop. He cried out, "This is not a message of hatred!...
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posted by Peaceandlove67
What Do I Do When I'm Having a Bad Day?
On their way to one of their classes, Randall asked John how his plan worked out. John said, "Things didn't go very well." Randall noticed John's black eye. "Holy smokes!" He cried. "What happened to your eye?" John said, "Promise me that you'll keep this between us." Randall said, "I promise." John said, "My mom hit me with her purse." Randall said, "That's terrible. Does it hurt?" John said, "Yeah, it hurts." Randall said, "You really need to consider getting away from your mother." John said, "I don't really have anywhere else to go." Randall asked,...
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posted by Peaceandlove67
I'm Going to Change the Attitude of This Town
After school, John talked with his friend, Randall. John said, "Man, I had an interesting dream last night." Randall asked, "What was it?" John said, "John Lennon came to me and told me that I could change the world. I told him that I would start 由 changing the mentality of this town." Randall looked confused. "What are 你 going to do?" He asked. John said, "I'm going to change the attitude of this town. I'm going to 显示 them that rock and roll isn't so bad. I'll also promote peace and love." Randall's eyes got big. "Are 你 crazy?!" He cried....
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posted by Peaceandlove67
John's Dream
One night, John had a dream. He was sitting in his bedroom, all alone. He heard a knock on the door and went to answer it. He said, "Hi. Can I help you?" The man standing at the door said, "Hello, there. I'm John Lennon." Teenaged John laughed and said, "Yeah right!" Lennon stood firm. He said, "What 你 are seeing here is my spirit." John said, "If you're truly John Lennon, come in here and prove it." Lennon played the 吉他 and sang "Imagine." John said, "Okay, works for me." Lennon asked the boy his name. "John," he replied. After chatting for a few minutes, John said, "I knew...
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posted by Peaceandlove67
Outcast of Devils Garden
During the popularity of Christian rock in the 1980's, in a small town ironically called Devils Garden, lived a teen 由 the name of John Wilde. He was only sixteen, and he was totally into rock and roll. He was often shunned for his taste in music, for he was not into the 音乐 of the citizens of Devils Garden. The citizens of Devils Garden considered rock 音乐 "music for Satanists." John begged to differ, but he couldn't change their minds. His family was no help, either. He was a boy without a father, as his father had died in a car accident 年 earlier. John was...
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