After losing my best friend, Barry, I slipped into a depression. My grandparents refused to see me. My less consistent 老友记 turned their backs on me. The only ones there for me were my aunt and uncle, my brother, Daniel, and my cousin, Barbara Ann. I had very little, if any, self-confidence. I didn't even try to confront Grandpa again, fearing he would beat me again. The only thing that brought me any happiness was music. I still enjoyed the Beatles above all others, but I liked to explore different bands as well. I overheard someone talking about a metal band called System of a Down, so I decided to check them out. I never listened to metal before. I picked up a CD titled, "Steal This Album!" I listened to it, and I fell in 爱情 with it. I felt a connection with some of the lyrics in the song, "Ego Brain".
"You see my pain is real
Watch my world dissolve
And pretend that none of us see the fall."
What I took from that lyric is this. The songwriter is experiencing a lot of emotional pain, and he's pretending that he's all right. It made me feel better knowing that somebody out there knew how I was feeling. I still wished I had some friends, but I was getting nothing but bullied. In life science, I learned that I was ugly, a loser, and a freak. In English, I learned that I don't belong. In mathematics, I learned that I was lame. Should I go on? No, I think I covered it well. One thing I didn't learn was why no one helped me. I went 首页 crying one day. Daniel said, "Hey, little sis. Are 你 okay?" I said, "No." He asked, "What's wrong?" I said, "It's nothing. Forget I 说 anything." He said, "No, it's okay. 你 can tell me." I said, "I'm a freak." He said, "Erin, 你 are not a freak." I then said, "And I'm a loser." He said, "No, Erin!" I said, "And I don't belong." He said, "Oh, my God! Where on Earth did 你 get ideas like that?" I said, "That's all I ever get told in school. No one ever helps me. Nobody cares." He said, "Erin, I had no idea all this was going on." I said, "Nobody loves me." He said, "That's bullshit, and 你 know it!" He told my aunt and uncle. My aunt said, "Erin, we all 爱情 你 very much." My uncle said, "That's right. Don't ever think 你 are not loved. If someone's picking on you, please tell us. We'll try to fix it." My aunt paid a visit to the school. The bullying slowed down, but I still wished I had friends. Everybody needs a least one friend.
"You see my pain is real
Watch my world dissolve
And pretend that none of us see the fall."
What I took from that lyric is this. The songwriter is experiencing a lot of emotional pain, and he's pretending that he's all right. It made me feel better knowing that somebody out there knew how I was feeling. I still wished I had some friends, but I was getting nothing but bullied. In life science, I learned that I was ugly, a loser, and a freak. In English, I learned that I don't belong. In mathematics, I learned that I was lame. Should I go on? No, I think I covered it well. One thing I didn't learn was why no one helped me. I went 首页 crying one day. Daniel said, "Hey, little sis. Are 你 okay?" I said, "No." He asked, "What's wrong?" I said, "It's nothing. Forget I 说 anything." He said, "No, it's okay. 你 can tell me." I said, "I'm a freak." He said, "Erin, 你 are not a freak." I then said, "And I'm a loser." He said, "No, Erin!" I said, "And I don't belong." He said, "Oh, my God! Where on Earth did 你 get ideas like that?" I said, "That's all I ever get told in school. No one ever helps me. Nobody cares." He said, "Erin, I had no idea all this was going on." I said, "Nobody loves me." He said, "That's bullshit, and 你 know it!" He told my aunt and uncle. My aunt said, "Erin, we all 爱情 你 very much." My uncle said, "That's right. Don't ever think 你 are not loved. If someone's picking on you, please tell us. We'll try to fix it." My aunt paid a visit to the school. The bullying slowed down, but I still wished I had friends. Everybody needs a least one friend.
September 8, 2011
I am feeling much better today. I don't feel great, but I feel much better than I did a few days ago. I was able to go to school today. Michael, Sabrina, and Bridget helped me get caught up in my classes. I'm lucky to have such good friends. Of course, I did feel a bit tired after finishing my homework. I took a nap for a while. When I woke up, it was almost 6:00 pm. I didn't realize I had slept that long. When 晚餐 time came, I ate really well. I didn't feel like eating much for the past couple of days. My appetite has returned. I think I will go to 床, 床上 early tonight. I'm feeling pretty tired right now. I'm not completely better, but I'm close to it.
I am feeling much better today. I don't feel great, but I feel much better than I did a few days ago. I was able to go to school today. Michael, Sabrina, and Bridget helped me get caught up in my classes. I'm lucky to have such good friends. Of course, I did feel a bit tired after finishing my homework. I took a nap for a while. When I woke up, it was almost 6:00 pm. I didn't realize I had slept that long. When 晚餐 time came, I ate really well. I didn't feel like eating much for the past couple of days. My appetite has returned. I think I will go to 床, 床上 early tonight. I'm feeling pretty tired right now. I'm not completely better, but I'm close to it.
June 11, 2011
Summer Vacation has been great so far. While I've been enjoying school 更多 since I've gained a couple of friends, it's nice to have a break from it. I also received some exciting news. On July 9, I am going to be in Chicago to see The Devil Wants Peace in concert! I was so excited when my uncle told me he was able to afford the tickets. I later told my friend, Michael, "You should have seen me when my uncle told me the good news. I was jumping up and down, crying tears of joy." Normally, I'm not that excitable, but The Devil Wants Peace is one of my 最喜爱的 bands. Since I was six, I dreamed of seeing them live, and now, I can stop dreaming. This dream is becoming a reality. I don't know if I'll be lucky enough to meet them, but the fact that I'm lucky enough to see them is great.
Summer Vacation has been great so far. While I've been enjoying school 更多 since I've gained a couple of friends, it's nice to have a break from it. I also received some exciting news. On July 9, I am going to be in Chicago to see The Devil Wants Peace in concert! I was so excited when my uncle told me he was able to afford the tickets. I later told my friend, Michael, "You should have seen me when my uncle told me the good news. I was jumping up and down, crying tears of joy." Normally, I'm not that excitable, but The Devil Wants Peace is one of my 最喜爱的 bands. Since I was six, I dreamed of seeing them live, and now, I can stop dreaming. This dream is becoming a reality. I don't know if I'll be lucky enough to meet them, but the fact that I'm lucky enough to see them is great.