THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC 秒 LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying 你 screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything 你 are not.
爱情 may be beautiful, 爱情 may be bliss,
But I only slept with 你 'cause I was pissed.
I thought that I could 爱情 no other --
That is until I met your brother.
玫瑰 are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the 玫瑰 are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I 爱情 your smile, your face, and your eyes –
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, 你 take my breath away.
What have 你 stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for 你 no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
