哈利·波特与暮光之城 Club
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PART FOUR:

Okay. Okay. I am a perfectly calm boy yes. That’s it. I will make myself forget what has just happened. There. All good. I forgot. (OH HERE LET ME HELP: HARRY, 你 JUST SET A SNAKE ON THAT JUSTIN FLICKEY KID AND NOW THE ENTIRE SCHOOL THINKS YOURE THE AIR OF SLYTHERIN!!!! ) Oh yeah. Thank 你 Emily. (YOURE WELCOME ) anyways because Emily is so eager to talk I should just let her share her point of view on things. Oh and Emily, its spelled h-e-i-r not a-i-r. A-i-r is what your head is full of. ( FINE, AND BTW 你 OWE ME A GALLION FOR THAT SMILEY. ANYWAYS, PEACE IS 表演 FUNNY, SHES ALL "HEY ARENT WE GOING TO HAVE DINNER?" AND IM ALL "WE JUST ATE" IT’S REALLY STRANGE. SNAPES A JERK. I DONT KNOW I JUST FELT LIKE 写作 THAT. ANYWAYS I HAVE A FEELING THAT PEACE IS BEHIND THE ATTACKS, BUT EVEREYTIME I ASK HER, SHE DENIES IT. BUT I KNOW BETTER. SHE GOT A NEW NOTEBOOK.QUIDDICH TOMORROW.) Oh yeah I forgot. Help! Help! The team did something that they are really are really going to regret: they made Emily a beater! I know your thinking "oh good Emily’s on the team" but it isn’t! 你 see, they trusted Emily with a bat for two hours straight! That is suicide! (YEAH...... and if that bludger goes anywhere near harry, they are going to need a new bludger ANYWAYS BYE!!!!!)
(EMILY! ) and harry








I MISSED DINNER. I MISSED DINNER. I swear. I was right on time. I woke up in the slytherin common room, felt hungry, walked down stairs, and bumped in to Emily. I 说 "where are 你 going." "Our common room." "Aren’t 你 coming to dinner?" "We just ate dinner." 说 harry. Emily added. "Its over." "ITS OVER" I yelled. And now I am back here feeling sorry for my self. Do 你 feel sorry for me tom? Do 你 tom? TOM?!?!?!?!

Yes.
Good. Because I am uber angry. I skipped lunch because I wasn't hungry. Now I am Soooo hungry. 你 wouldn't like me when I am hungry. GAAAA!!!! I need food.
Sorry.

Why are 你 sorry? 你 don’t need to be sorry its not 你 fault.
I had the impression it was.
Why?
Because 你 were with me before that.

OH YEAH.
Yep.
Well in that case I am not talking to you.
Dear diary,
me and Draco kissed a lot today. I talked to tom today. I hate tom. Tom is a jerk. HE MADE ME MISS DINNER.

<3
~peace.
<3
I am hungry.
GAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!










(HELP!!!!! HELP!!!!!!! OK, OK, BE COOL EMILY. BE COOL. OKAY NOT COOL! OKAY, SO HERMIONIE WAS HEADING TO THE LIBRARY, AND I WAS JUST TALKING TO HER, AND SHE FORGOT HER MIRRIOR!!! SO OBVIOUSLY, I WENT AFTER HER, AND AS I ROUNDED THE CORNER I BUMPED INTO ROSALIE HALE AND SHE WAS ALL "HEY COOL A MIRRIOR" AND SHE WONT GIVE IT BACK TO ME AND IM FREAKIN OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




OH NO. I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO. AW DANG HERMIONIE IS SO GOING TO OWE ME. WHY OH WHY DO I HAVE TO BE MUGGLE BORN? I MEAN I REGRET IT HERE, I REGRET IT IN THE SEVENTH-OH CRAP HERE COMES THE SNAKE "HEY NO LEGS, OVER HERE!" OH GOD I HOPE I CAN RUN FAST.

EMILY)







Dear tom (STILL IGNORING YOU),
I bumped into Emily and Rosalie in the hallway... Emily looked mad. She was yelling, "GIVE ME BACK MY MIRROR!!!" Rosalie was like, "no way. We evil slytherin brats need to know how good we look. So I continued walking to the ghost’s (sorry I forgot her name) bathroom. Then Emily ran to me and asked. "Where are 你 going." so I 说 what I was doing. (I never lie >=]) "I am going to meet tom in the bathroom." then she was all like, "WHATT!!!!" then she choked me. And strangled me. And then Draco came!!!!(Jealous much?) He hit Emily and knocked her out. The he kissed me. Then he took the mirror from Rosalie and stared into it for a long time. Then I ran to the bathroom because nobody was watching. I blacked out again. When I came back Rosalie was 《冰雪奇缘》 and so was granger-girl. Emily was balled up in a corner crying and Draco was in fetal position rocking back and forth in shock. I screamed and ran to Draco. I fell head over heels tumbling towards him. I blacked out again. Is it just me 或者 do bad things happen whenever I go to the bathroom to meet you? Is this all my fault? What is going on?
Peace. 你 are doing this. Go to Hagrid’s hut today. Kill all of his chickens. Put the blood in a bottle. Bring it back to me. Then we will write on the walls a ransom note. We will rule the wizarding world Peace. Me and You. I Tom Riddle. I lord Voldemort!!! MWAHAHAHA...
Whoa. What? Lord Voldemort? OMG I have always wanted to meet you. I will do what ever 你 want your highness.
Well then do what I said. And uh. Hurry.
KK BYE!!!!





( Draco's dead. Peace is deader. I will kill them both. NOBODY knocks me out and lives. I was so right. Go me. And the worst part is, I CANT TELL ANYBODY! I am depressed. When peace blacked out, I kicked Draco in the head and he blacked out to. I will make a pact right now that says that a Malfoy ((or anything related )) will never knock me unconscious EVER again. And if they try, I will kill them. Now I g2g get Harry and Ron to come down to the chamber with me. I am taking Edward.

EMILY)




Kill chickens: check
Go to bathroom: walking there
.
.
.
HERE!
Do 你 have the blood?
Yes. But-
Now walk out of the bathroom
Done and-
Now what I tell you.
What?
I'm thinking!
...
Write 'Her body will rot in the chamber forever.'
Ooo! That’s catchy how did 你 come up with that? Who is 'Her'?
你 will soon find out now write. And come back I will be waiting for you.







Okay, harry here, so first l will fill 你 in on Aragog. In Hagrid’s hut Emily actually came in with Dumbledore with the excuse of ’I’m his assistant' the minister of magic actually fell for it. (FAIL!!! ) Yes thank 你 Emily. Anywa- (OOH OOH I WANT TO TELL THIS PART!!!! OKAY, SO WHEN LUCIUS SAYS "I HAVE NO PLEASOURE BEING IN YOUR-YOU CALL THIS A HOUSE?" K, SO 你 KNOW I CAN’T TAKE THAT LYING DOWN, SO I SAID: "YEAH, WELL I DONT HAVE ANY PLEASURE BEING IN YOURS EITHER. NICE DUNGON 由 THE WAY." WASNT THAT GREAT???!!! AND THE BEST PART WAS THAT HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS SAYING!!!! OH I JUST KILL MYSELF!!!! ) Yeah, woot woot. Anyways, turns out that Emily is almost as scared of spiders as Ron is! (AM NOT!) Are too. (AM NOT!!) Are too. (AM NOT!!!) Look spider! (AAH! WHERE?) Ha. (I HATE YOU. ) get in line. (JUST FOR THAT YOURE GOING DOWN IN THE CHAMBER BEFORE ME ) oh yeah, they took peace 由 the way. (YEAH AND WERE GOING DOWN TO GET HER) yup. And I think we have to go. (BYE)
Harry and (EMILY!!!! )






OH MY GOD TOM IT IS SO COOL DOWN HERE!!! What is the snake's name?
Um it’s a basilisk.
Whatevs. But what’s its name?
It doesn't have one.
Can I name it?
Sure.
Um.
.
.
Rosalie. The snake reminds me of a friend





EW, EW, EW, EW, this is so gross down here. We slid down a tunnel in le bathroom and now we are in a place with human skulls everywhere. Emily doesn't seem to mind though. (I AM SO PSYCHED TO MEET THE SNAKE. WEEEEEEEEE! ) yeah. Weee. Okay, we have just walked into the cavern. And.....peace is standing 下一个 to some dude. (HOLY CRAP PEACE IS IN LEAGUE WITH TOM RIDDLE) who's he? (ER-) shh he’s talking. Detailed 描述 starting now brought to 你 by: harry potter:

Peace: hi guys!
Emily\me: Ummmm..............hi?
Tom: hello harry potter-who are you?
Emily: names Emily. I don’t like you.
Tom: gee that's friendly. Oohhhhhh I know you. You’re that mudblood girl who the snake wont go near aren't you?
Emily: k, guess so.
Peace: oh, this is so exiting! What are we here for anyways?
Emily: 嘿 peace, hate to break it to you, but he is going to set a giant snake in us and kill us all.
Peace: cool can I watch?
Emily: I hate you.
Me (harry): wait- what? Why would he try to kill us?
Emily\peace: he’s lord voldemort!
Me: WHAT? Really?
riddle\peace\Emily: duh.
Emily: so.....now what?
Riddle: I guess I’m supposed to set the snake on 你 now.
Emily: k, 你 do that.

Well, we battled the snake, sort of.
Me: EMILY GET THE SWORD!!!!
Emily: noooooooo, swords are heavy and pointy. Can’t I just battle the snake with my dagge- 嘿 wait a minute! You’re supposed to be battling the snake!
Me: I know but you're sooooooo much stronger.
Emily: flattery will get 你 somewhere
So, Emily battled the snake instead of me, so I was happy, but the snake bit Emily AND me!!!!
Emily: awwwww look what 你 made me do
Riddle: HA!! Now 你 will both die, I will regain my true form, and lord voldemort-
Peace: uh tom?
Riddle: shut up I’m gloating
Peace: yeah but I really think 你 should know that-
Riddle: BE QUIET!! Now as I was saying, lord voldemort will rise again! BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!
Emily (quietly): I just got bit 由 a giant poisonous snake.
Peace: uh-oh
Riddle: what? What’s wrong?
Peace: that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. When she sees something ironic she-er-flips.
Emily: yeah, but 你 forgot one thing
Riddle: yes, but she only has 分钟 before the poison takes her
Peace: oh yeah, that’s another thing-
Me: oh no, we're all going to die here from the poison-EMILY ARE 你 EMO????!!!
(Emily looks up from sucking on her arm) Emily: no
Riddle: what are 你 doing?
Emily: using irony to my advantage
Peace: that looks cool can I try?
Emily: shut up I’m mad at you
Riddle: this doesn’t make any sense; 你 should be dead 由 now
(Edward walks in)
Edward: Emily are 你 making fun of me again?
Emily: no I just got bit 由 a giant snake. 嘿 would 你 do me a favor and run this sword through that diary?
Edward: sure, no problem
Peace: NO I LIKE HIM!!!!
Emily: yeah, so did Victoria but look what happened to her
So Edward ran the sword through riddle and we went upstairs.
added by KateKicksAss
Source: Polyvore
posted by RavenclawRocks
First of all, this is MY opinion. If 你 don't agree, that's fine. If 你 do, well great! So here I go.

Bella is a shallow bitch. Why? Well, Edward looks at Bella and thinks "she smells nice" Bella looks at Edward and thinks "OMG He's so hot!" So they're in love. Sorry, I mean they are in lust. It's not love! It's just they enjoy being in love. Bella would 日期 Santa Clause if he was hot!
And then there's the fact when Edward leaves Bella, she goes straight for Jacob who is the 秒 hottest guy in town after moping for four fricken months! I mean moping for 4 weeks is ok. But 4 months...
And...
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Credit for the first 11 goes to mugglenet.com

11 Ways to Use Harry Potter to Annoy a Twilight Fan
Guaranteed to start a shouting match of fantastic proportions...


1. Steal their copy of Twilight and replace it with one of your Harry Potter 图书 in a Twilight dust jacket.

2. Tell them that Edward is a "hand-me-down" because the Twilight 电影院 got him after the Harry Potter 电影院 were finished with him.

3. 列表 other "hand-me-downs" from the books, like the last names of Black and Clearwater...

4. State that 你 think Edward would be hotter if he had a lightning scar on his forehead.

5. "Accidentally"...
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posted by teamsalvatore98
Hello, everyone. It's me, teamsalvatore. (Salvy)

So this club is Potter vs. Twilight, Rowling vs. Meyer, Wizards vs. Vampires. I, personally, my opinion, think that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. BUT I think that there are some redundant things in Twilight. And remember, these are ust my opinions:

-Bella's weakness; She's helpless, and turning girls everywhere into weak, spineless idiots. She's making girls everywhere think they need a guy like Edward to protect them.
-Edward's obvious self-hate; He's a non-cutting emo, for crying out loud! A wannabe! We get it, Eddy, 你 don't like yourself....
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hers ther link

link

51. Your reason made no sense at all, I think 你 probably tried to say that it isnt that good

52. This is not a reason, this is just a bunch of harry potter people having dialouge

53. This person is not really saying anything except that they shouldn't be compared and the person just likes the book but she doesnt think that harry potter is better

54. They just dissed twilight and they don't think that harry potter is better

55. Ilike 5 different guys at the same time too: fred, lupin, harry, ron, arthur
anyways just b/c u lik the guys doesnt make it beter, wat do u mean fall in...
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Okay. I know what 你 are all thinking. Oh no not another Harry Potter vs. Twilight 文章 but yes I am making one because I can. I just want my opinion to be heard. So first off let me 列表 the reasons why children, teens and adults can 爱情 Harry Potter and the good messages that Harry Potter gets across. Harry Potter first of all teaches people about the very special bond between people called friendship. Harry, Hermione and Ron are a perfect example of friendship. They are all with Harry until the very end like they promised. They risk their lives for each other and even though they fight,...
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posted by TeamSiriusBlack
    Ok, well I’m getting pretty tired of people saying that Bella and Edward’s relationship is love. It’s not. It’s just lust. Let’s look at the clues:
-She sees him and thinks he’s gorgeous.
-He likes her smell.
-He’s a vampire.
    Now, before I start 写作 about these points, I would like to compare the relationship to that of Snape and Lily. Yes, they have never gone out but they didn’t need to. Snape met Lily when they were little. He probably thought she was pretty and developed a crush on her which bloomed into love. When Snape found...
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posted by Sophia21
Realised the points have little to do with plot, thus changed the 标题 to errors.

My apologise to Twilight 粉丝 if I'm a little too harsh, but I have reread the 图书 like twice this 月 and it was a little exasperating. Not to worry, I'm currently rereading Harry Potter, so a plothole 列表 on it will be added soon =)

Ok, let's get started:

1.A hundred years of...nothingness?
Explanation: I don't expect science fiction 图书 to be scientifically accurate. But if 你 plan your main character to live 100 years studying in prep forever at the age of 17, make the whole book plausible. No, just saying...
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Before 你 start 阅读 please understand that this is all based on MY opinion and not everyone can think the same.If 你 are a Twilight 粉丝 你 don't have to start a fight,just say 你 disagree and tell us why.


Before,i 发布 an 文章 from someone who made a few reasons on why Harry Potter is better but it got flamed(I'm guessing because it was too direct.) so i decidet to point out my main 5 reaons on why i think Harry Potter is better.




1.Harry Potter character are more..alive.

Harry Potter characters have so much personality,they are interesting because of it.I can tell 你 so much about...
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posted by woofbark
Okay, I'm going to give reasons why each book is better in this article. Then, comment, argue/contradict my points, and start a reasonable 辩论 (not a fight) on the 评论 board, please!
PRO TWILIGHT
I'm not a big Twilight fan, but I can try to come up with some reasons:
1.Bella's emotions are described in depth, leaving no area unexplored. We know exactly how she feels at every second, whether she is gazing at Edward 或者 making noodles. (this could also be a drawback-you can't have a story be completely emotion and no story)
2.Love? Well, Edward and Bella are in a relationship where they...
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posted by FredWRules
-harry’s hormones went overdrive when he saw this spankin’ hot qurl from the ravenclaw quidditch team.

-being the teenage boy he is, he didn’t make a 移动 until it was the yule ball and it turns out that this d00d cedric asked her out.

-then this d00d died and cho was all “bawwww cedric” but somehow she managed to get over all that because of harry’s eternal glory the strategically placed mistletoe. so they kissed.

-then they dated on valentine’s 日 in hogsmeade and cho wanted to be all “baww cedric” in front of harry. but harry, being the hormone-driven infatuated teenager he is, was all ears.

-then it ended when harry 说 he was meeting hermione, because apparently cho’s the only one allowed to talk about someone else in their relationship.
added by Gred_and_Forge
Source: Tumblr
added by TeamSiriusBlack
added by nati30
Source: Once again, another pic I found in the C.A.T. spot
I made a 列表 of combined and possible plot holes about Harry Potter. Some of them I came up with myself, and some of them I got from different places online. If 你 can give explanation answering the 问题 ,do it please.
I purposely put in a few really really picky 问题 because there are a lot of 文章 about Twilight like this, so I want to see how Harry Potter 粉丝 respond to the ridiculously picks questions. I'm not going to tell 你 which ones they are, but they should be easy to pick out.





1.    Why do the founders of Hogwarts have surnames? Family names weren’t...
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posted by BedIntruder
95 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks
Opinion 由 BedIntruder 发布 4 hours 以前


1. Bella is a perfect character (“Mary Sue”), which Meyer hides 由 calling her clumsy.
2. Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.
3. She can’t do anything without Edward.
4. And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.
5. Meyer is living out her own fantasies 由 写作 about Bella, who is clearly herself.
6. The 图书 aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.
7. All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken 由 the end of the...
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added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
added by kenzichu
link


116. "BTW Twilight is the bestest film ever" I get really frusterated when soomebody compares the films instead off the movies. And whats worse is that 你 arent giving any reasons. "Stop hating, pick-up Twilight, actually read it and 你 will 爱情 it and stop hating Twilight". Has it ever occurred to 你 that twilight haters have read the whole series? Like me? "HP is all around boring and it is made for younger children". I dont understand how Harry Potter can be so boring. Maybe 你 didnt keep up with the amount of action and romance and magic and the mystery. 或者 maybe 你 didnt read...
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posted by lucius_malloy
So, once there was this girl - well, actually that girl still is - but anyway, this girl who we'll call Emma, for the purposes of now. (Well, actually, we'll call her that because it's her name. But 你 get the point.)

Around two, two and a half years ago, when Emma was in sixth grade, one of her 老友记 - let's call her K, if she must have a name - was 阅读 a book that looked rather interesting. It was black, with a shiny hard cover, and had an 苹果 on the front. It was called Houkutus, which translates to Temptation. Emma liked the name and thought it might prove an interesting read, but...
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