T-T wow what an attention seeking 文章 name it basically screams out: "READ ME cuz it has the word secret in the name"... also its written in my diary T-T
Well yeah, the reason I had chose that name is because honestly I didn't know what to name the 文章 *shrugs* I decided to write out my feelings... but why post it? Well, because I want other's opinions and just the fact that once somethings on the web it doesn't feel so lonely anymore, the main problem is once someone see's it, 你 can't really take it back anymore :/
I might regret posting this, ssh shut up wolfcat, you're gunna talk yourself into not posting it. *my inner me starts beating up my outer me, and my brain fights along, not sure if its stupid 或者 smart X3*
I mean like, if I don't want people to see it why do I post it O-O good question, time to have a 心 to 心 talk with myself about figuring out whats wrong with me.
here goes *holds thumb that no one reads this*:
________________________________________
Diary Page of A. C. Terblanche (wolfcat343) 25 June 2014
----------------------------------------------------------------
I've kept 你 a secret so long,
I've hidden away from you(not the person the feeling), because I know if anyone else knows. me= dead person
I kept telling myself. "Its just a phase, its not real"
and then 更多 recently a friend sort of caught me off guard speaking things out loud and figuring out my secret.
My secret is that I like 'you' (random anonymous person NOOOOONE needs to know, not even my best friends, sorry guys :/ ) and I knew it all along
I type, but shiver, always thrilled at your reply.
Sometimes I cry so much feeling such hurt and lies
and all those desperate cries of people living their painful lives.
Your words 隆起, 隆升 me, every one of them, just seems to gleem off the screen, yeah I'm blushing like a freaky radiant beam.
If I look at you, its not through any outer appearance
but I see a beautiful yet such a broken 心 that needs some patches.
If it were for the medical care, I wish I could be there to heal your emotional and physical wounds.
Theres so many I don't know where to begin, but I'll be here for you.
Everyday that goes by, I'd sit looking up at the sky, 或者 sitting hugging my 枕头 tight that it'd burst wishing I could confess
but I can't 更多 或者 less
yeah I'm just a mess
I'm not afraid of being judged anymore
The only problem would be
if I confess...
would I lose something 或者 gain something
if I could, I'd tell 你 how much I loved you, but thats just stupid, I'm too afraid I'd lose you.
I plugged in my keyboard and started playing this one specific song, I couldn't stop, until my mom came in wondering why I only play this song over and over.
and man I don't know, maybe its because thats how I feel.
I'm not going to say much anymore, this is all to real
and I'll just spend this night, thinking in my head how to stop myself from my stupid mistake.
________________________________________
eyup so thats what I wrote
bored out of my mind, I have alot 更多 to this secret, but I keep my diary so limited in fear that someone would find it, I know my one friend likes to battle me to read it, and then this one time she shoved my off the 长椅, 沙发 and read it aloud to a couple of other friends, so eyup, I try my best to not make me get in trouble.
Well yeah, the reason I had chose that name is because honestly I didn't know what to name the 文章 *shrugs* I decided to write out my feelings... but why post it? Well, because I want other's opinions and just the fact that once somethings on the web it doesn't feel so lonely anymore, the main problem is once someone see's it, 你 can't really take it back anymore :/
I might regret posting this, ssh shut up wolfcat, you're gunna talk yourself into not posting it. *my inner me starts beating up my outer me, and my brain fights along, not sure if its stupid 或者 smart X3*
I mean like, if I don't want people to see it why do I post it O-O good question, time to have a 心 to 心 talk with myself about figuring out whats wrong with me.
here goes *holds thumb that no one reads this*:
________________________________________
Diary Page of A. C. Terblanche (wolfcat343) 25 June 2014
----------------------------------------------------------------
I've kept 你 a secret so long,
I've hidden away from you(not the person the feeling), because I know if anyone else knows. me= dead person
I kept telling myself. "Its just a phase, its not real"
and then 更多 recently a friend sort of caught me off guard speaking things out loud and figuring out my secret.
My secret is that I like 'you' (random anonymous person NOOOOONE needs to know, not even my best friends, sorry guys :/ ) and I knew it all along
I type, but shiver, always thrilled at your reply.
Sometimes I cry so much feeling such hurt and lies
and all those desperate cries of people living their painful lives.
Your words 隆起, 隆升 me, every one of them, just seems to gleem off the screen, yeah I'm blushing like a freaky radiant beam.
If I look at you, its not through any outer appearance
but I see a beautiful yet such a broken 心 that needs some patches.
If it were for the medical care, I wish I could be there to heal your emotional and physical wounds.
Theres so many I don't know where to begin, but I'll be here for you.
Everyday that goes by, I'd sit looking up at the sky, 或者 sitting hugging my 枕头 tight that it'd burst wishing I could confess
but I can't 更多 或者 less
yeah I'm just a mess
I'm not afraid of being judged anymore
The only problem would be
if I confess...
would I lose something 或者 gain something
if I could, I'd tell 你 how much I loved you, but thats just stupid, I'm too afraid I'd lose you.
I plugged in my keyboard and started playing this one specific song, I couldn't stop, until my mom came in wondering why I only play this song over and over.
and man I don't know, maybe its because thats how I feel.
I'm not going to say much anymore, this is all to real
and I'll just spend this night, thinking in my head how to stop myself from my stupid mistake.
________________________________________
eyup so thats what I wrote
bored out of my mind, I have alot 更多 to this secret, but I keep my diary so limited in fear that someone would find it, I know my one friend likes to battle me to read it, and then this one time she shoved my off the 长椅, 沙发 and read it aloud to a couple of other friends, so eyup, I try my best to not make me get in trouble.
Mourning souls of the disappearing
Slowly thoughts fill my mind
As my end seems to be nearing
I knew this 日 would come someday
But why right here and now?
And leaving soon, to my dismay
As tears streak down my face
I finally whisper good-bye
As i feel like a rose, clocked in black lace
As I tried to cover my depression
In which I truly lacked
It's very hard to break
Something that has already been cracked
As if my sadness came alive
I still have 更多 to dread
They always 说 "Time will heal all wounds"
But what if I'm already dead
Slowly thoughts fill my mind
As my end seems to be nearing
I knew this 日 would come someday
But why right here and now?
And leaving soon, to my dismay
As tears streak down my face
I finally whisper good-bye
As i feel like a rose, clocked in black lace
As I tried to cover my depression
In which I truly lacked
It's very hard to break
Something that has already been cracked
As if my sadness came alive
I still have 更多 to dread
They always 说 "Time will heal all wounds"
But what if I'm already dead
Beautiful
Angle
Hurt
Pain
Love
Heartbroken
Shine
Peace
Harmony
Joy
Truth
Death
Silence
Hate
Gay
Care
Kind
Forget
Forgive
Amazing
Potential
Interests
Changing
Violent
Alone
Corruption
Crime
Disappointed
Rejected
Loveless
Feared
Hunted
Inspired
Twisted
Life
Memories
Jerk
Heartless
Hell
Heaven
Never
Leave
Hope
Abused
Cracked
Kiss
Tired
Fat
Harm
Scared
Fear
Murder
Killer
Tears
Blood
Scars
Nothing
Gone
Lost
Forever
Ended.
What do these words mean to you?
What do they make 你 fell?
Do 你 know pain?
Because I do.
And what gives 你 the right to say that 你 have when 你 haven't?
Because real pain is hard to get over?
If you'd felt pain you'd know how I fell...
Fierce & Love
Poem Girl
Angle
Hurt
Pain
Love
Heartbroken
Shine
Peace
Harmony
Joy
Truth
Death
Silence
Hate
Gay
Care
Kind
Forget
Forgive
Amazing
Potential
Interests
Changing
Violent
Alone
Corruption
Crime
Disappointed
Rejected
Loveless
Feared
Hunted
Inspired
Twisted
Life
Memories
Jerk
Heartless
Hell
Heaven
Never
Leave
Hope
Abused
Cracked
Kiss
Tired
Fat
Harm
Scared
Fear
Murder
Killer
Tears
Blood
Scars
Nothing
Gone
Lost
Forever
Ended.
What do these words mean to you?
What do they make 你 fell?
Do 你 know pain?
Because I do.
And what gives 你 the right to say that 你 have when 你 haven't?
Because real pain is hard to get over?
If you'd felt pain you'd know how I fell...
Fierce & Love
Poem Girl
Slowly
Steady
Drip and Drop
My blood falls from
My Arm
心 Break
心 Ach
Dreams slowly begin to disappear
As my head fells dizzy
And my mind is clear
All my thoughts and fellings are but aside
To see what it fells like on the other side.
Slowly
Steady
The light begins to fad away
From my purple blue eyes
Memories haunt me
Never letting go
Promise's are broken as tears fall on the floor
Slowly
Steady
I see the end is coming soon...
Slowly
Steady
I fear no light lives on the side I'm going to...
Slowly
Steady
I promise not to forget to say I 爱情 you...
Slowly
Steady
I mit be dark yet light and confussing but please don't give up on me...
Drip...
Drop...
Drip...
Drop...
Steady
Drip and Drop
My blood falls from
My Arm
心 Break
心 Ach
Dreams slowly begin to disappear
As my head fells dizzy
And my mind is clear
All my thoughts and fellings are but aside
To see what it fells like on the other side.
Slowly
Steady
The light begins to fad away
From my purple blue eyes
Memories haunt me
Never letting go
Promise's are broken as tears fall on the floor
Slowly
Steady
I see the end is coming soon...
Slowly
Steady
I fear no light lives on the side I'm going to...
Slowly
Steady
I promise not to forget to say I 爱情 you...
Slowly
Steady
I mit be dark yet light and confussing but please don't give up on me...
Drip...
Drop...
Drip...
Drop...