I was out hiking in the woods with a few 老友记 of mine, when we all got 迷失 and accidentally 分裂, 拆分 up. Unfortunately, I got myself into the middle of the forest, and now I have NO idea how to get home.
For about an 小时 或者 so, I sat on a stump, praying that my 老友记 would find a chopper and pick me up.
Pfft. Some 老友记 I have.
Suddenly, a dark figure was walking toward me. She had beautiful, long black hair, and was wearing a 短裙, 裙子 that went over her knees--bad clothing for the forest.
I took my notepad out of my backpack and set it on my knees.

Me: You're Pocahontas, right?

Pocahontas: *nodding* Yes. Are 你 lost?

Me: *sighing* Yes, but I don't want to waste time. Do 你 mind if I interview you?

Pocahontas: *sitting down on the ground* Sure 你 can.

Me: *flipping through notepad* From my research, I hear that 你 like jumping off cliffs. Are 你 suicidal?

Pocahontas: *gaping* No, never! I jump for the fun of it. I 爱情 the wind in my hair!

Me: If 你 hadn't gotten married, would 你 consider being a daredevil?

Pocahontas: Well, my father won't allow it.

Me: *writing* Ooh, you're a daddy's girl, aren't you?

Pocahontas: Of course. I 爱情 my father very much.

Me: *scoffs* I barely see mine.

Pocahontas: *clicking tongue* That's sad.

Me: Why did 你 marry John Rolfe when it was JOHN SMITH whom 你 fell in 爱情 with?

Pocahontas: I guess things change.

Me: But why would 你 leave a hot, blonde man that loves the thrill of adventure for a goody-two-shoes?

Pocahontas: It's hard to understand. Sometimes 你 爱情 someone, but then 你 meet someone else and 爱情 them even MORE.

Me: *muttering* Glad I'm not in a relationship.

Pocahontas: 你 don't believe in the power of love?

Me: No....

Pocahontas: *grabbing me 由 the shoulders and starts to shake me* Are 你 MAD? There's nothing 更多 powerful than LOVE!

Me: *screaming* WHY ARE 你 SHAKING ME?!

Pocahontas: *letting go* Sorry, sometimes I go so overboard, I hardly notice.

Me: *glaring* Do the other princesses ever visit 你 here?

Pocahontas: Well, the only one who's ever visited me here was Mulan, because she wanted to be in a peaceful place for her fighting.

Me: Are 你 ever jealous of the other princesses because they have a house and 你 don't?

Pocahontas: *shaking head* Nope. I'm perfectly happy right now.

Me: Wow. I can NOT be happy living out in the woods.

Pocahontas: *frowning* Why not? The forest is very beautiful.

Me: How could 你 stand the 熊 droppings all around? And how 你 don't have a bathroom? And what about those freaky demon squirrels who watch 你 when 你 sleep?

Pocahontas: 你 watch too many scary movies, don't you?

Me: Yes, yes I do. Would 你 ever agree if someone called 你 a hippie?

Pocahontas: Well, yes, because hippies believe in peace and so do I.

Me: 由 far, you're the hippiest princess ever.

Pocahontas: Why, thank you.

Me: That wasn't a compliment.

Pocahontas: *starting to walk away* Good luck getting out of here.

Jeez, was it something that I said? These princesses need a reality check, like pronto.

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