Critical Analysis of Twilight Article: Heres the REAL reason why Jacob never answered Bella's calls.

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Heres the REAL reason why Jacob never answered Bella's calls.

posted by zanesaaomgfan

Jacob: Let me call Bella.*dials Bella's number*
Operator: I am sorry. This person is talking to (Bella's voice)Edward Cullen. Please leave a message after the tone.
*tone never comes up*
Jacob: OH C'MON!

The 下一个 day.

Jacob: I want Bella NAO!*calls Bella*
(Answering machine): The Swans are out right now, please leave a message after the beep.
[beep never stops]
Jacob: OH C'MON!

The 日 after that:

Bella: *makes a new answering machine*
Jacob: *calls*
[Machine]: Hi, its Bella. If its Jacob, stop leaving messages saying "OH C'MON!" and if your not a Cullen 或者 my dad, don't call me. At ALL!
*beep*
Jacob: NOOOOOO!
*beep*
Jacob: ?
*beep beep beep beep*
{This phone will self destruct in 3, 2, 1}
Jacob: OH C'MON!

[Check the TS spot to see who made it, its me. So don't kill me about 'You 偷了 this!'].

Maanda, AlxanderRfan and 3 others like this

AlxanderRfan Lol that was awesome :"D

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Twilight Funny Pictures

added by marthatsal

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My Letter to Stephanie Meyer

posted by TriaRose

Dear Ms. Meyer,

Hi. I’m Tria. It’s nice to meet you. As 你 have probably guessed, I am 写作 to 你 concerning your series known as “The Twilight Saga.” If you’ll forgive me for being rude, I’d like to be blunt.

You fail.

Again, apologies for my rudeness. If you’ll allow me, I’m going to back up this assumption of your literary failure.

Let’s start with the plots, looking at each book individually, and then the 图书 as a whole.
Twilight: Barely has a plot. The book is 300 或者 so pages of nothing happening besides mooning on about Edward and his eyes. Then 你 throw in three...

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Are the Cullens good heroes/heroines?

posted by MCRTS

After 阅读 the post "Bella as a heroine should be illegal" 由 bendaimmortal, it got me thinking. Obviously, no-one would consider Bella 天鹅 a heroine. If 你 do, 你 have got a really great deal of imagination, 或者 a warped sense of the world. Because, and I'm sure most Twilight 粉丝 would agree, the girl didn't do anything at all. Save being overly dramatic and being the damsel in distress.

What about the Cullens then? What about Carlisle, Alice, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett? What about He-Who-Sparkles-In-Broad-Daylight? Would they be considered heroes/heroines?

No.

I say that the Cullens...

The Twilight Saga as a Subconscious Retelling of a Family Drama: The Real Story

posted by songwave

Note: It’s important for me to communicate that I don’t know the 作者 of Twilight 或者 her family personally and I do not intend them any insult; this 文章 is purely academic speculation inspired 由 a story which will remain a timeless work of art. It is the emotional accessibility of the work which makes commentary such as this possible. I may be projecting the whole thing… But that’s exactly why Twilight is so successful, because it invites us so welcomingly into the story!

Every 粉丝 knows the story of the Twilight Saga.
There are many theories as to what makes the story such a pop-culture...

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Opinions in the Twilight fandom... And why I don't agree with them

posted by katiecain

As a 粉丝 of Twilight, I am part of a lot of related spots and discussions. However, as a Jacob & Bella fan, I often find myself disagreeing with most of the opinions of Twilight fans. In this 文章 I'll go through some 评论 I've read (slightly altered - don't want anyone out to get me!) and why I disagree with them. It's really just an informal rant. :P

'Edward & Bella have things in common unlike Jacob & Bella'

... What exactly? Let me guess: Classical music? Bella knows one song and suddenly they have something in common. They both read? When do we actually read of Bella reading...

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Bye Twilight. It was fun while it lasted.

posted by AliceHaleCullen

Soo, I read Twilight in 2005 and seriously thought it was the best thing I'd ever read, and never thought I'd read anything better. How young and stupidly naive I was!

When I first bought it, it was treasured, as were New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn & all the money wasting merchandise I purchased to. But over the past 2 years, I've seen the 粉丝 base grow and grow and GROW into something that is just pretty hectic and down right ridiculous.

I personally feel sorry for the cast, especially Robert Pattinson. Poor guy, can't even walk out his front door without being mobbed. There's such thing...

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Why being a Twi-vamp would be great, even if 你 hate them

posted by Asvini

As someone who liked 吸血鬼 before the fad started I'm one of the many people who dislikes the Twilight vampires. And thinks they should be reclassified as pixies. 或者 that at least Zombie Bram Stoker should go have a serious talk with Stephenie Meyer about vampires... What do 你 mean Bram Stoker hasn't risen as a zombie in protest to the Twilight vampires? Why don't 你 go prove it? I'll wait...

...

...They didn't come back, so I'm assuming Zombie Bram ate their brains. We'll have to carry on without them. Anyway, I must admit Meyerpires are an interpretation of the vampire myth I just don't...

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Six 最喜爱的 Twilight Characters

posted by OCFan123

Disclaimer: The 标题 of the 文章 may seem to be a bit strange, as most of my 文章 that I have 发布 on here are usually issues I have with the Twilight Saga, but I decided that myself as an anti, wanted to write about things I actually do like about the series. Guarantee, I actually do think Stephanie Meyer did create some characters in this series, and I just wanted to 列表 my 最佳, 返回页首 8. This will be in no particular order.
* * *
Jasper Hale

If hypothetically, I were to meet the Cullen, I would think that Jasper would be the only one I probably be remotely afraid of in any sort of way. Or...

Twilight Jokes

posted by KateKicksAss

I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b l o g s p o t.com

How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!

Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as 或者更多 beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!

How do 你 stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!

How do 你 irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Why...

1

Renesmee and Jacob in a Leaked Breaking Dawn Trailer (Parody)

added by KateKicksAss

A hilarious BD spoof. Jacob is hungry for Renesmee's love...and a McFlurry, :P

video

parody

funny

trailer

breaking

dawn

twilight

jacob

renesmee

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Twilight Saga- Take it off

added by maritina12345

video

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The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Review: Rotten Tomatoes 显示

added by fanfly

video

twilight

eclipse

movie

rating

review

rotten tomatoes 显示

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Twilight vs Dead Until Dark

added by Mallory23

Source: http://fuckyeahtwilightsucks.tumblr.com/

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The Twilight Saga: The Plot Holes That Never Were

posted by cassie-1-2-3

I’ve read many lists pointing out Twilight “Plot Holes”, but 更多 often than not, the lists aren’t very valid at all. Half of them are usually just complaints, pointing out something they don’t like about Twilight (Example:” Why would 吸血鬼 go to high school?”, 或者 “Why does Bella have so many friends?”). The rest are just factually incorrect, 或者 can be logically theorized. These are usually followed 由 “Stephenie Meyer obviously ditched history class”, 或者 “Hasn’t Stephenie ever heard of logic?”, 或者 my personal favorite, “I would know, I had a lesson about it...

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Hitler Was Not Dazzled 由 Breaking Dawn

added by sylar_rocks

Contains strong language. It's not an anti video if 你 don't mind the lulz.

video

twilight

funny

parody

hitler

破晓

斯蒂芬妮·梅耶

dazzling

criticism

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The Real Reason Bella "Couldn't" Get Over Edward

posted by nuxi

aagh! I accidentally deleted this when I was trying to 编辑 it. here it is again with a new title:

Bella could have gotten over Edward in New Moon and even had a real relationship with Jacob in time, but she wouldn't let herself. She felt that moving on would diminish 或者 discredit her twu wuv with Edward and the pain she felt after he left. She wants to believe she can't get over it because she wants to believe that what they had was extraordinary, not like any other teenage romance. She wants to believe no one else in the world can relate to what she's going through. She was alone because she...

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pic

added by Disaster

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Edward Body 枕头

added by nuxi

Source: etsy

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12 Ways to Annoy Crazed Obsessive Twilight Fangirls

posted by sapherequeen

*Most I made up, a few I admit I saw on a video but I stated these ways in my own words so it is therefore not plagiarism*

1) Tell a fangirl that you'll send her a T-shirt with rare pictures of Edward Cullen on the front and back in two days, make sure she gets extremely excited. When the two days go by, send her a T-shirt with pics of Hagrid from Harry Potter instead.
link
2) Tell the fangirls that all gay men sparkle.
3) Tell the fangirls that the Quielete 狼人 have major anger management issues if they turn into beasts when they got irritable...
4) Ask them for their Twilight merchandise,...

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10 Reasons No Sane Person Would 日期 Edward Cullen (watch 邪恶力量 instead)

added by samjhart

video

twilight

爱德华·卡伦

funny

criticism

critical analysis

贝拉·斯旺

斯蒂芬妮·梅耶

吸血鬼