VP

Now Suri, 你 must study your dianetics book.
But I don't wanna!

Millions of years ago, the alien, Xenu
Collected all his people, and then
He threw them all around a 火山 bring bombs in his machines,
And blew them all to smithereens

Your dad 说 你 must wear a blanket 或者 an opaque veil
Over your faces so 你 will stay pale
You must remember its not funny,
Stay away from where its sunny,
Or else he'll dangle 你 over an eighty-foot balcony

Break it down now

You know Hollywood is such a mess
All the drama goin' down with celeb train wrecks
They even stopped wearing bloomers under their dress
It makes me...

Ouch.....Ouch....Ouch...
It's time for me to say this addressing all 你 guys.

Except for all the drag queens, who deserve a Nobel Prize.

But the straight guys-
they don't realize
what we go through everyday
and it's a lot


And now it's time for
all us females
to remind 你 in case
you all forgot
The seven things guys don't have to do:

1.Shave legs
2.Give birth
3.Aunt Flo
4.Wears skirts
5.Wax armpits
Hey it hurts!
6.Wear pantyhose
7.And paint your toes too
8.High heels
9.Pluck brows
10.Skip meals
11.Count pounds
12.Come girls have to carry heavy mounds
...We're way past seven now
but I keep going anyhow.
13.Uncomfy thongs...