I wasn't sure where this was going at first. I've figured it all out now, hope people like it :)
I apologized to everyone and explained that Edward and I were going to go hunting. I had to tell Jasper that I would be back, and that I just needed to get away from the house for a while. He didn't want to let me go, but knew that this is what I needed right now. He sent a wave of 爱情 flowing over me, I smiled up at him and kissed his hand as I walked over to the doors.
"Don't worry, I will explain what I read as soon as I have time to process it all." I 说 to my loving family as I turned and ran out the back door looking back up at the 图书馆 where the book sat, wanting to go read 更多 but knowing that I needed to get away.
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Edward and I ran in silence, niether of us really hungry. He knew that what I needed at this point was to get away from the house, away from the family that we both loved emmensly.
I needed time to think over my past, 或者 what I knew of it at this point. I couldn't allow myself to think about it while running, not because I would run into anything. That wouldn't happen, running was something that I really enjoyed. More, I knew that if I allowed myself to think that I would begin to hurt again and I wasn't ready for that just yet.
We ran to the edge of Olympic National Park and slowed to a walk. I began kicking the bracken at my feet, not really looking around just kind of 迷失 in myself.
"Well, what are 你 in the mood for?" Edward asked in a concerned tone.
I looked up at him and smiled. I hadn't taken much time to spend with my "brother." We were closer then any of the other members of the family, yet with everything that had happened the last few weeks we hadn't spent much time together.
I smiled up at him while thinking about my response.
"Ummm I think it's your turn to pick, I chose the entre last time." I laughed, making 评论 about our meals made us all seem 更多 normal.
He smirked down at me and laughed, "Alright, my choice. Hmmm let's see, mountain lion with a side of 马骡, 骡子 deer?" He joked.
"Sounds good to me, with a 狐狸 for desert?" I joked as I ran past him letting my sense of smell take over.
We hunted together, suprising a mountain lion as it pawed at the ground trying to make it's self comfortable. When we finished that Edward sprang to his feet and ran off looking back over his shoulder thinking "I'll beat 你 to the deer."
I knew that he was trying to distract me, and at this moment I was actually enjoying myself and knew that he was faster then me but I was smaller and could menouver easier.
We both took off running west as fast as we could following the scent of a heard of deer that were grazing in a field. I took my dear down first, it wasn't the largest but I was very full and just wanted to win.
When I finished I moved over to a fallen 树 and sat on it playing with a 雏菊, 黛西 that was near my feet. I began pulling the petals off the 花 one 由 one, 更多 out of boredome then anything else. I was relaxing, wishing that I hadn't ate as much as I did when Edward moved infront of me.
"Bella's birthday is coming soon, what do 你 think we should do?" He asked as he kicked the leaves 由 his foot.
I knew he was distracting me, but at this point I was happy to have him here.
"I was thinking A LOT of pink. I know it's not her favorite, but it's been so long since we had a real birthday party." I 说 playing along.
"You realize that she is not going to like that at all, right?" He asked.
"She may not like it now, but she'll enjoy herself and it will be a party that she never forgetts." I 说 as I closed my eyes focusing on Bella's birthday party.
Since nothing was planned in stone, there wasn't much to see. I saw that the entire family would get together, and would spend the night celebrating Bella's birthday.
He shook his head thinking about how she would react, and laughed.
"Alright, 你 need to talk about this. I know 你 wanted your privacy, but we're out here for a reason and it's not Bella this time." He 说 as he sat 下一个 to me on the log.
I looked up at him and sighed.
"As 你 know I was in the Battle Creek Asylum, I was in solitary confinement a lot and that meant I was alone. It seems someone who worked there who just goes 由 "G" snuck me the journal so that I had a way to communicate." I 说 as I took the petal of the 雏菊, 黛西 and began twirling them and braiding them togeter.
"The first entry was about my family, apparently I saw a branch falling off the 树 that would have crushed my sister so I told her to move. She did and a few 秒 later the branch fell exactly where she was sitting. She ran to the house and told our mom all about what happened. I guess this wasn't my first vision, because I was affraid of when my father got home. I knew he would be mad." I was whispering at this point. The emotions were flooding through me, I was crushed, hurt, dejected, lost, and angry.
"You don't have to tell me Alice, none of this matters, 你 are who 你 are now not because of your past. It's who 你 made yourself, 你 are strong, loved, happy, sometimes annoying, kind of a pain." He joked as he smiled.
"Thanks for the encouraging words Edward." I 说 as I laughed at him. "I think it's helping to tell you, it's kind of like a weight is being lifted, I knew 你 wouldn't judge me. That's why I asked 你 to come with.
I smiled up at him and decided to continue my story.
"Well, father came 首页 and obviously wasn't happy about what happened. I mean he was happy that Cynthia wasn't hurt, but not that I was being diffrent and "seeing" things again. He was so worried about being accepted 由 his 老友记 that he knew that if someone knew I was "diffrent' that he wouldn't be accepted anymore. He made it very clear the he didn't want to hear about anything like this happening again."
I shook my head remembering the smudge marks on the paper that were left 由 the tears that I had cried.
"I tried to keep what I saw to myself. I knew that if I just kept quiet that we could continue the happy family that we were before I shared my visions.
About a 月 later we were all out as a family, my father and sister were flying a 风筝, 放风筝 when I had the most disturbing vision to that point. I saw mother walking 首页 and a man taking her and doing terrible things to her." I barely whispered.
"Alice, 你 don't have to talk if 你 don't want to, this has to be so hard on you." Edward 说 in a concerned tone.
"No, I need to continue. It helps to tell someone what I think I must have been feeling. I know Jasper would like to discuss all this, but I just can't hurt him with my past. He heard the entries, but not what I think about them. I'm sorry to burdon 你 with this." I 说 as I looked up at him.
"Anything for 你 Alice, 你 know I won't tell anyone. I'm always there to listen if 你 need me." He 说 as he hugged my shoulders.
"I wasn't going to say anything but the journal 说 that everytime I closed my eyes I saw the vision again. I couldn't keep that to myself, I was so afraid.
My father came over mocking me, asking stupid things like if I saw 花 growing in the wrong place, 或者 a storm. How could he mock me Edward? He was my father!" I said, wishing that I could cry. My heart, well where it would be felt like it was breaking.
How could someone who brought me into this world not 爱情 me no matter what? I didn't understand that.
"That's where I had to stop, I just don't understand how my own family could fear, well not fear but judge me. That is what hurt the most, I think maybe that's why I saw Carlisle and everyone. I knew that 你 wouldn't judge us, no matter how strange Jazz and I looked when we showed up." I smiled up at Edward.
He sat there thinking about everything that I just told him, processing it all. I knew that all of them would support me, and 爱情 me no matter what. I just couldn't understand why my family cound't.
I sat there for a few 分钟 enjoying the silence. Knowing that no matter what happened at this point that Edward and the rest of my family would accept me for who I was.
I stood up deciding that I needed to tell our family what the journal had said, and also that I was curious and wanted to know what happened to me next.
We sat there in silence for a few 分钟 when I suddenly stood up and smiled at my brother.
"I guess it's time to head back, I need to explain what I learned to everyone else, and I really want to read more." I admitted
He nodded and stood 下一个 to me wrapping one arm around my shoulders.
"Anytime 你 want to get it off your chest just let me know and we can go out to eat." He smiled as he 说 the last line.
I put my head on his arm and nodded up at him.
"Thank 你 for everything Edward, 你 know I mean that with all I am." I thought as we began walking to the edge of the woods.