辛普森一家
辛普森一家 All The 评论 Bart Has Put On The Blackboard
nikaitla posted on Apr 13, 2012 at 09:32AM
7G08 None - Christmas Special
7G02 I will not waste chalk 7G03 I will not skateboard in the halls 7G04 I will not burp in class 7G05 None 7G06 I will not instigate revolution 7G09 I will not draw naked ladies in class 7G07 I did not see Elvis 7G11 None 7G10 I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes" 7G13 Garlic gum is not funny 7G12 They are laughing at me, not with me 7G01 I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom 7F03 I will not encourage others to fly I will not fake my way through life 7F02 Tar is not a plaything 7F04 None - Halloween Special 7F01 I will not Xerox my butt 7F01 It's potato, not potatoe This was used for the third airing of 7F01 (a reference to Dan Quayle's gaffe while visiting a school) 7F05 I will not trade pants with others 7F08 I am not a 32 year old woman To put it another way, Nancy Cartwright is not a 10-year-old boy 7F07 I will not do that thing with my tongue 7F06 I will not drive the principal's car 7F09 I will not pledge allegiance to Bart 7F10 I will not sell school property 7F11 I will not cut corners It actually looks like this: I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS " " " " " " " " " " " " 7F12 I will not get very far with this attitude 7F13 I will not make flatuent noises in class 7F15 I will not belch the National Anthem 7F16 I will not sell land in Florida 7F14 Repeat of 7F10 7F17 I will not grease the monkey bars 7F18 I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment 7F19 None 7F20 I will not do anything bad ever again 7F21 I will not show off This was written in an "Olde English"-style font 7F22 I will not sleep through my education 7F24 I am not a dentist 8F01 Spitwads are not free speech 7F23 Nobody likes sunburn slappers 8F03 High explosives and school don't mix I will not bribe Principal Skinner 8F04 I will not squeak chalk Bart squeaks the chalk while writing this 8F05 I will finish what I sta This appears on one line; the rest is blank 8F02 None - Halloween Special 8F06 "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender 8F07 I will not fake rabies This never appeared in original airings in the USA, but did in Canada 8F08 Underwear should be worn on the inside 8F09 The Christmas Pageant does not stink 8F10 I will not torment the emotionally frail 8F11 I will not carve gods 8F12 None 8F14 I will not spank others 8F16 None 8F13 I will not aim for the head 8F15 I will not barf unless I'm sick I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty Lisa has a blackboard punishment of sorts during the episode; she has to clap erasers 8F17 I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge 8F19 I will not conduct my own fire drills 8F20 Funny noises are not funny 8F21 I will not spin the turtle 8F22 I will not snap bras 8F23 I will not fake seizures 8F24 This punishment is not boring and pointless 8F18 My name is not Dr. Death 9F01 I will not defame New Orleans New Orleans complained about the opening song in "Oh, Streetcar!" 9F02 I will not prescribe medication Originally, the FOX showings had no chalkboard for 9F01 and the New Orleans one for 9F02, while Canadian showings had them as listed 9F04 None - Halloween Special 9F03 I will not bury the new kid During the episode, Marge writes "I will try to raise a better child" 9F05 I will not teach others to fly 9F06 I will not bring sheep to class 9F07 A burp is not an answer 9F08 Teacher is not a leper 9F09 Coffee is not for kids Each line becomes less and less legible; the last line is a scrawl 9F10 I will not eat things for money 9F11 I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call 9F12 The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee 9F13 I will not call the principal "spud head" 9F14 Goldfish don't bounce 9F15 Mud is not one of the 4 food groups 9F17 No one is interested in my underpants 9F16 I will not sell miracle cures 9F18 I will return the seeing-eye dog 9F20 I do not have diplomatic immunity 9F19 I will not charge admission to the bathroom 9F21 I will never win an Emmy This was the first episode after 1992-93 Emmy nominations were announced, the first time the show was eligible for "Best Comedy Series", but it wasn't nominated (the show had won "Best Animated Show" Emmys in the past) 9F22 The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy 1F02 None 1F01 None 1F04 None - Halloween Special 1F03 None 1F05 None 1F06 None 1F07 All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy This is probably a reference to The Shining, especially as this quote was not written "line by line" like the others 1F08 I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause 1F09 I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers 1F11 My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man A reference to "The Fugitive" 1F10 I will not go near the kindergarten turtle 1F12 None 1F13 None 1F14 I am not delightfully saucy 1F15 Organ transplants are best left to the professionals 1F16 The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan 1F18 I will not celebrate meaningless milestones This was first used for the 100th new episode 1F19 There are plenty of businesses like show business 1F21 I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball 1F20 Five days is not too long to wait for a gun 1F22 Beans are neither fruit nor musical 1F17 Repeat of 9F17 2F33 I will not use abbrev. 2F01 I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr. 2F02 None 2F03 None - Halloween Special 2F04 I will not send lard through the mail 2F05 I will not dissect things unless instructed 2F06 I will not whittle hall passes out of soap 2F07 Repeat of 1F11 2F08 Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough 2F09 Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal 2F10 "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice 2F11 Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does 2F12 Next time it could be me on the scaffolding 2F13 I will not hang donuts on my person 2F14 I will remember to take my medication 2F31 None 2F15 I will not strut around like I own the place 2F18 The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far 2F19 I do not have power of attorney over first graders 2F32 Nerve gas is not a toy 2F21 I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface 2F22 The First Amendment does not cover burping 2F16 This is not a clue...or is it? In this episode, there are clues that are supposed to reveal who shoots Mr. Burns 2F20 I will not complain about the solution when I hear it In this episode, the shooter (see 2F16) is revealed 2F17 "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism 3F01 No one wants to hear from my armpits 3F02 I am not a lean mean spitting machine 3F03 The boys room is not a water park 3F04 None - Halloween Special 3F05 Indian burns are not our cultural heritage 3F06 None 3F08 Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things 3F31 I will only do this once a year ...which is once a year too many for clip shows 3F07 I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist 3F10 I am not certified to remove asbestos 3F09 None 3F11 None 3F12 None 3F13 None 3F14 None 3F16 None 3F15 None 3F17 None 3F18 None 3F19 None 3F20 None 3F21 None 3F22 None 4F02 None - Halloween Special 3F23 I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten 4F03 I am not my long-lost twin 4F05 None 4F06 None 4F04 None 4F01 None During the episode, Lisa writes "I will not be a snickerpuss." (complete with period) 4F07 None 3F24 None 3G01 The truth is not out there A reference to "The X-Files" 4F08 I am not licensed to do anything 4F10 None 3G03 I will not hide the teacher's Prozac 4F12 None 4F11 None 4F14 None 4F13 I will not lie in front of the school bus with ketchup on my face Actually, this episode had no blackboard opening; Jason Fox drew this in the comic strip "FoxTrot" on the day this episode premiered - I just want to see who is "borrowing" my lists while removing things like the notes (and my name) (Earlier editions of this list say that the strip appeared when 4F11 premiered; however, it actually appeared March 2, 1997, when 4F13 first aired) 4F15 None 4F09 None 4F16 A fire drill does not demand a fire 4F17 None 4F18 None 4F19 None 4F20 None - Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase 4F21 None 4F22 None 4F23 None 3G02 I no longer want my MTV 5F02 None - Halloween Special 5F01 Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story 5F03 I did not invent Irish dancing 5F04 None 5F05 I will not tease Fatty 5F06 There was no Roman god named "Fartacus" 5F07 Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related 5F24 None 5F08 None 5F23 Shooting paintballs is not an art form 5F11 None 5F10 Pain is not the cleanser 5F12 Silly String is not a nasal spray 4F24 None 5F13 I was not told to do this 3G04 My butt does not deserve a website 5F14 I will not demand what I'm worth A reference to the holdout of the cast for more money 5F15 None 5F09 I will not mess with the opening credits This appeared in place of the couch opening; the rest of the family runs into the classroom 5F16 None 5F17 I am not the new Dalai Lama 5F18 I was not the inspiration for "Kramer" This was first shown three days after the last episode of "Seinfeld" 5F20 None 5F21 I will not file frivolous lawsuits 5F22 None AABF01 The Simpsons Halloween Special IX This was painted on the board in blood with a large brush 5F19 "butt.butt" is not my E-mail address Originally, "butt.com" appeared in place of "butt.butt", but it was changed as butt.com is an actual web site address; however, "butt.com" still appeared in Canada AABF02 No one cares what my definition of "is" is Which is not quite true in President Clinton's case AABF03 I will not scream for ice cream AABF04 I am not a licensed hairstylist AABF05 "The President did it" is not an excuse This was first shown the day after President Clinton became the first elected President to be impeached (Andrew Johnson, the only other President to be impeached, became President because he was Vice-President when Lincoln was killed) AABF06 My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld AABF07 Sherri does not "got back" AABF08 I will not do the Dirty Bird The "dirty bird" is the "celebration dance" of the Atlanta Falcons, one of the teams in the 1999 Super Bowl AABF09 No one wants to hear about my sciatica AABF11 Hillbillies are people too AABF10 Grammar is not a time of waste AABF12 Repeat of 9F20 AABF13 It does not suck to be you AABF14 I cannot absolve sins In the Moses story, Bart carves "I Will Not Deface" (actually, "I Well Knot D-Face") in hieroglyphics AABF15 A trained ape could not teach gym AABF16 Loose teeth don't need my help AABF17 I have neither been there nor done that AABF18 Repeat of 3F01 AABF20 I'm so very tired AABF23 Fridays are not "pants optional" AABF22 Pork is not a verb AABF21 I am not the last Don BABF01 None - Halloween Special AABF19 I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize BABF02 I won't not use no double negatives BABF03 Repeat of 3F05 BABF05 I can't see dead people A reference to the movie "The Sixth Sense" (coincidentally, Haley Joel Osment, who played the boy in the movie who could see dead people, was at one time the voice of Curly on "Hey Arnold!", which was created by Matt Groening's brother-in-law) BABF07 I will not sell my kidney on eBay Unlike most, if not all, of Bart's other blackboard quotes, this one was not all caps (the "e" in "eBay" was small); also, Lisa writes "I will not do math in class" during the show BABF04 I will not create art from dung A reference to an art exhibit in New York City that included a portrait of the Virgin Mary splattered with dung BABF06 I will stop phoning it in BABF08 Class clown is not a paid position BABF09 Substitute teachers are not scabs BABF10 My suspension was not "mutual" BABF11 A belch is not an oral report BABF12 Dodgeball stops at the gym door BABF13 "Non-Flammable" is not a challenge BABF14 I was not touched "there" by an angel BABF16 I am not here on a fartball scholarship BABF15 I will not dance on anyone's grave BABF18 I cannot hire a substitute student BABF19 I will not obey the voices in my head BABF21 None - Halloween Special BABF20 I will not plant subliminal messagores The parts in green appeared in green on the show A reference to the "subliminal message" claim during the 2000 USA Presidential Election campaign; during a Republican commercial, the word "RAT" appeared briefly while Democrats were being mentioned BABF17 I will not surprise the incontinent CABF01 I am not the acting President A reference to the 2000 USA Presidential election, whose winner had still not been determined when this episode first aired CABF04 I was not the sixth Beatle CABF02 I will only provide a urine sample when asked CABF03 The nurse is not dealing CABF06 Science class should not end in tragedy During the episode, Principal Skinner writes "I ain't not a dorkus" BABF22 Network TV is not dead CABF05 I will not "let the dogs out" CABF08 I will not hide the teacher's medication CABF07 I will not publish the Principal's credit report CABF10 The hamster did not have "a full life" CABF12 I will not buy a Presidential pardon A reference to ex-President Clinton granting Presidential pardons to people who made donations/payments, which might be "a conflict of interest" CABF09 "Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap A reference to a Fox television series where couples were sent to an island filled with singles to test their commitment CABF11 I will not scare the Vice President A reference to USA Vice-President Dick Cheney being in the hospital with a heart condition CABF13 I will not flush evidence CABF14 Fire is not the cleanser CABF15 Genetics is not an excuse CABF16 Today is not Mothra's day Originally aired on Mother's Day (May 13), 2001 CABF17 I should not be twenty-one by now He would be 21 in the 12th season if he was 10 in the first season, which ended in 1990, and he aged normally CABF19 None - Halloween Special CABF22 Nobody reads these anymore CABF20 A burp in a jar is not a science project CABF18 Fun does not have a size CABF21 I am not Charlie Brown on acid DABF02 I do not have a cereal named after me When this episode first aired, he did - Bart Simpson Peanut Butter Chocolate Crunch (along with Homer's Cinnamon Donut Cereal) DABF01 None DABF03 None DABF05 None DABF04 I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers Probably a response to a gag in DABF03 when Butterfingers (which featured commercials with the Simpsons in them at one time) were thrown into a fire but wouldn't burn, and the response was "Even the fire doesn't want them" DABF06 The giving tree is not a chump DABF07 Making Milhouse cry is not a science project DABF09 None DABF08 Vampire is not a career choice DABF10 None DABF11 None DABF12 None DABF13 None DABF14 I will never lie about being cancelled again A reference to Matt Groening commenting in an interview that the show was "closer to winding it up" (and then claiming he was "misquoted and misunderstood") DABF15 None DABF16 None DABF17 None DABF19 None - "Treehouse of Horror" episode DABF22 None DABF20 Fish do not like coffee DABF18 None DABF21 Milhouse did not test cootie positive EABF01 None EABF02 None EABF03 None EABF04 This school does not need a "regime change" EABF06 SpongeBob is not a contraceptive EABF05 I will not Bart then chops up the blackboard with an axe EABF07 None EABF08 None EABF09 None EABF10 None EABF11 None EABF12 None EABF13 None EABF14 My pen is not a booger launcher EABF15 None EABF16 Sandwiches should not contain sand EABF17 None EABF21 None - "Treehouse of Horror" episode EABF18 None EABF20 None EABF22 None EABF19 None FABF01 Over forty & single is not funny FABF02 None FABF03 None FABF04 None FABF05 None FABF06 None FABF07 None FABF09 None FABF08 I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be FABF10 None FABF11 None FABF12 None FABF14 None FABF15 None FABF13 None FABF17 None FABF18 None FABF23 None - "Treehouse of Horror" episode FABF20 None FABF19 None FABF22 Poking a dead raccoon is not research FABF21 None FABF16 None GABF01 None GABF02 None GABF03 None GABF04 None However, this episode did have a disclaimer at the beginning when Fox first aired it: "This episode contains discussions of same sex marriage. Parental discretion is advised." GABF05 Beer in a milk carton is not milk GABF06 None GABF07 None GABF08 None GABF12 None GABF10 None GABF11 None There was a variation on the show's opening during the show, but instead of a chalkboard, Bart is at a vending machine GABF13 None GABF14 None GABF15 A booger is not a bookmark GABF09 None GABF18 Does any kid still do this anymore? GABF16 None GABF19 None GABF17 None - "Treehouse of Horror" episode GABF20 None GABF21 None GABF22 None HABF02 None HABF01 None HABF03 I am not smarter than the President HABF04 Teacher was not dumped -- it was mutual HABF05 None HABF06 None HABF07 None HABF08 I will not laminate dog doo The live-action opening used the first time this episode aired in the USA repeated the 9F10 opening HABF09 I will not flip the classroom upside down The classroom was flipped upside-down (well, rotated 180 degrees) while he was writing this HABF10 None HABF11 None HABF12 None HABF13 I will not leak the plot of the movie HABF14 Je ne parle pas Français HABF16 Have a great summer, everyone HABF15 None HABF18 None HABF20 None During the episode, Principal Skinner writes "A baby beat me up" HABF17 None - "Treehouse of Horror" episode HABF21 We are not all naked under our clothes HABF19 None HABF22 None JABF02 None JABF01 Frankincense is not a monster JABF03 None JABF05 None JABF04 None JABF07 None During the episode, Bart writes, "So Long Suckers" JABF09 None JABF08 None JABF06 Global warming did not eat my homework JABF10 None JABF11 None JABF13 I will not look up what teacher makes JABF12 Pearls are not oyster barf JABF14 None - 24 opening used JABF15 None Instead of the normal opening, the short "Family Portrait" from "The Tracey Ullman Show" aired Movie I will not illegally download this movie JABF20 I will not wait 20 years to make another movie JABF18 The Wall Street Journal is better than ever ...now that Rupert Murdoch owns it JABF21 None JABF19 I am not an FDIC-insured bank JABF16 None - "Treehouse of Horror" episode JABF22 There is no such thing as an iPoddy JABF17 The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens KABF01 None KABF02 The capital of Montana is not "Hannah" KABF03 Teacher did not pay too much for her condo KABF04 None KABF05 None KABF06 The art teacher is fat, not pregnant KABF07 None KABF08 None KABF09 None KABF10 A person's a person no matter how Ralph A reference to "A person's a person, no matter how small" from Horton Hears a Who! KABF11 None KABF12 This punishment is not medieval. The lines are written in a medieval style, complete with large first letter - and there is a period at the end of each line KABF13 None KABF17 None KABF15 Teacher's diet is working KABF14 There's no such month as "Rocktober" KABF16 None - "Treehouse of Horror" episode KABF18 I did not see teacher siphoning gas KABF19 None KABF20 Prosperity is just around the corner In the couch gag, Bart writes, "I will not bring the chalkboard home," on a chalkboard in front of the couch KABF21 Jesus is not mad his birthday is on Christmas KABF22 I will not use permanent ink on the chalkboard LABF01 HDTV is worth every cent This is the first episode produced in high definition LABF02 "March Madness" is not an excuse for missing school LABF03 I will not have fun with educational toys LABF04 None LABF11 Four-leaf clovers are not mutant freaks LABF05 My piggy bank is not entitled to TARP funds The second time this episode aired, on 6/28/09, the opening was replaced with an airing of the "Do the Bart, Man" video in tribute to Michael Jackson, who died three days earlier LABF06 None LABF07 I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone LABF08 I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy LABF10 None LABF09 None LABF12 It's "Facebook," not "Assbook" LABF13 The class hamster isn't just sleeping LABF15 Chalkboarding is not torture LABF16 I am not allergic to long division LABF14 None - "Treehouse of Horror" episode LABF17 I do not have the hots for my mom LABF18 Halloween does not kick Thanksgiving's ass LABF19 Teachers' unions are not ruining the country MABF01 None MABF02 None LABF20 The world may end in 2012 but this show won't MABF03 None MABF05 None MABF06 None MABF04 None MABF07 World War II could not beat up World War I MABF10 None MABF08 Hot dogs are not bookmarks MABF09 This counts as gym and art class MABF14 South Park - we'd stand beside you if we weren't so scared This appeared four days after Comedy Central censored an episode of South Park for even mentioning Muhammad, presumably after threats were made Also, when the episode first aired, some stations aired "Je ne suis pas Français" (a slight variation on the HABF14 quote) instead of the South Park quote MABF12 None MABF13 Eating my vegetables is not a Mother's Day present MABF11 Batman is not "nothing without his utility belt" MABF15 End of "Lost": It was all the dog's dream. Watch us. This first appeared on the same night as the last episode of Lost MABF21 When I slept in class, it was not to help Leo DiCaprio MABF17 I did not see teacher applying for welfare MABF18 I must not write all over the walls It was written over all of the classroom's walls MABF16 None - "Treehouse of Horror" episode MABF20 None NABF01 None NABF02 "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" is as good as "A Charlie Brown Christmas" MABF22 None MABF19 Candy canes are not elf bones NABF03 January is not Bart History Month NABF04 None NABF05 Prince is not the son of Martin Luther King NABF06 I will not make fun of Cupid's dink NABF07 None NABF08 I'm not here on a spitball scholarship NABF08 "Daylight Savings" is not a failed bank NABF10 I will not ridicule teacher's Final Four bracket During the episode, Homer writes "I'm a grown man who's scared of his own son" NABF11 None NABF12 None NABF13 I do not deserve a Mother's Day gift for being "one badass mother" NABF14 It's Kristen Schaal, not Kristen Schall It was spelled "Kristen Schall" in NABF13's closing credits Some broadcasts may have a different quote: Guinea pigs should not be used as "guinea pigs" NABF15 None NABF16 None NABF17 It's not too early to speculate about the 2016 election NABF19 None - "Treehouse of Horror" episode NABF21 It's November 6 -- how come we're not airing a Halloween show? In the USA, Halloween specials aired in November from 2000 through 2010 (except in 2008) because of baseball World Series coverage (in fact, the term "Halloween Special" stopped being used because of this) NABF20 None NABF22 None PABF01 None PABF02 "Caucus" is not a dirty word NABF18 Cafeteria trays are not toboggans PABF03 Tintin did not sucksuck PABF04 We do need no education PABF05 There's no proven link between raisins and boogers PABF06 I will not replace a candy heart with a frog's heart PABF07 Bart's earned a day off Written by Milhouse, with Bart looking on During the episode, Bart spraypaints "I {heart} the breakdown of society" on an interior wall of an abandoned building PABF09 None PABF08 None PABF10 None the numbers are episodes |