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Sarcasm is an art. It's one of those little yet big things in life which can only be expressed beautifully when mastered correctly. Though sarcasm may be funny, it may also hurt many people, so use it wisely.

Last week, I decided to collect as many sarcastic and funny remarks as I could, just for the fun of it. So, here's the list! The format of the 列表 is like this:

1. When someone says, "No"... <--- this is the "situation".
Yeah, right. <--- this is your sarcastic response.

Sometimes, there will be "no situation". 你 should be able to figure out when to use the sentence in italics then....
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In a 浓情巧克力 factory, a purple-gloved hand (Willy Wonka) places five Golden Tickets randomly among hundreds of thousands of Wonka Bars on a conveyor belt, which are then boxed and shipped across the world. Near the factory, Charlie Bucket lives in a small, dilapidated house with his parents and four grandparents. Mr. Bucket provides the only family income 由 screwing 锦标 on toothpaste tubes at a nearby plant, and family meals consist only of watered-down cabbage soup.

Charlie has long been enthralled with Wonka and his chocolate, so much that he has built a scale replica of his factory entirely...
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added by krystylmomo
Source: we
posted by krystylmomo
•    A sharp tongue does not mean 你 have a keen mind.
•    Anyone who told 你 to be yourself couldn't have 给 你 any worse advice.
•    Are 你 always this stupid 或者 are 你 making a special effort today.
•    Do 你 want me to accept 你 as 你 are, 或者 do 你 want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
•    Don't let your mind wander; it's far too small to be let out on its own.
•    Don't thank me for insulting you; it was a pleasure.
•    Don't...
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added by krystylmomo
jaun.,
video
piano..
added by krystylmomo
Source: we
added by krystylmomo
added by krystylmomo
Source: we
added by krystylmomo
posted by krystylmomo
Ten-year-old Jess Aarons (Josh Hutcherson) is an aspiring yet shy elementary school boy living in a financially-struggling family and 10-year-old Leslie Burke (AnnaSophia Robb) is the new girl at Jess' school, just arriving on the school's athletics day. She enters a running event which she wins with ease, despite her classmates calling it a "boys only" race. Jess is, at first, quite 酸, 酸奶 about this and wants nothing to do with Leslie, but Leslie's persistence in meeting him soon pays off, and soon the two become good friends. Their friendship starts when Leslie offers Jess a piece of gum on...
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added by krystylmomo
added by krystylmomo
Source: we
added by krystylmomo
Source: we
added by krystylmomo
added by krystylmomo
added by krystylmomo
added by krystylmomo
added by krystylmomo
added by krystylmomo
posted by krystylmomo
1. Well, this 日 was a total waste of makeup.
2. Well, aren't we just a 射线, 雷 of frigging sunshine?
3. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
4. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
5. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
6. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
7. Do I look like a frigging people person?
8. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
9. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
10. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
11. I've found Jesus. He was behind the sofa the whole time.
12. You! Off my planet !!
13....
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