随意 Club
加入
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
1. 天使 Eyes - call her this name and she'll either think you're lying 或者 you'll get some action faster than a pit 公牛 on a t-bone.

2. Baby Doll - is a class girlfriend name so call her this all 你 want even if she is the kind who will out chug 你 in 啤酒 and pull a monster truck over your face on occasion.

3. Bubble Butt - is one of those names 你 never, and I mean never call your girlfriend since this will end it all, and there will be no chance in getting back with her even for a drunken 2 am booty call.

4. Cuddle Bug - is one that most girlfriends will respond well to and will be an invitation...
continue reading...
posted by milorox18
1. I 爱情 the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I 爱情 the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I 爱情 the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I 爱情 the way 你 look at me.

5. I 爱情 how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I 爱情 the way I can’t imagine a 日 without 你 in my life.

7. I 爱情 the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I 爱情 the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I 爱情 the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I 爱情 how I know you’ll always be there when I need 你 to be.

11....
continue reading...
1. Go outside, and if 你 see someone, take the 随意 person and make out with him/her, and say: "Yes! I finally got my dramatic 接吻 scene!"

2. Lay on your stomach in a puddle and scream: "I'm drowning, I'm drowning!"

3. In the pasanger 座位 of the car, roll your window down, stick your tongue out, soaking the driver: "I wonder why 狗 only do this when its sunny out!" and laugh.

4. Make a farting noise, and say "Hear that thunder roar!"

5. When your outside, run around (reading lyrics) and scream words to 唱歌 in the Rain.

6. Make someone laugh. Then look at them: "Gosh, your face is...
continue reading...
found this stuff and i wanted to share with 你 guys (girls) so enjoy !! =)





1.Stare at someone and if/when they stare back at you, yell, “Staring is extremely impolite!”

2.Bring a Glad product to school and whenever someone gets mad at you, say, “Don’t get mad! Get Glad!” Then hold up the Glad product.

3.Keep talking as if you’re talking to the person 下一个 to you, and when they answer, scream, “I wasn’t talking to you! Now, Bob, where were we?”

4.When the teacher calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE!!! Oh, no, sorry."

5.Sing your 问题 to the class.

6.Sit in...
continue reading...
posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, 你 answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, 你 answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, 你 answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, 你 say “is that so?”
5. If 你 so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher 你 did not turn in your homework because 你 were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...
continue reading...
DEMENTED POEMS

玫瑰 are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

玫瑰 are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

玫瑰 are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And 显示 me your tits

玫瑰 make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And 你 爱情 it up the shitter

玫瑰 are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

玫瑰 are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

玫瑰 are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

玫瑰 are shit
Violets are crap
显示 me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

玫瑰 are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And 吞, 燕子 it down

玫瑰 are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a 圈, 圈子 that had its two sides gently compressed 由 a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
continue reading...
posted by pure-angel
I Found that on the internet

1. When 你 were young, were 你 involved in any kind of political protests such as for the Civil Rights movement 或者 against Vietnam? Why 或者 why not?

2. What tells 你 when a child is responsible enough to trust a lot?

3. What was your first car? What was your 最喜爱的 car when 你 were young?

4. How often do 你 go over the speed limit?

5. Were 你 considered 流行的 in middle school 或者 high school? Why 或者 why not?

6. Did 你 have big fights with your mom when 你 were growing up? If so, what were they usually about?

7. Did 你 have big fights with your dad when 你 were...
continue reading...
posted by black_magics
1.The 'poke' button on 脸谱 is awesome...
But I think there should be a 'stab' button...

2.was riding a horse yesterday and fell off. I almost got killed! THANK GOODNESS
the Walmart greeter saw what happened and came over and unplugged it.

3. anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has obviously never
tried to staple jello to a tree.

4.Text someone and tell them "Hey, I 迷失 my phone, can 你 call it?"
and see how many people call it

5. 3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape,
and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier's face: Priceless!...
continue reading...
1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When 你 sleep over never boss me around in 床, 床上 unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If 你 don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” 或者 “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If 你 want sex, just ask. (In case 你 didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
continue reading...
1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with 更多 than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are 你 busy?" 或者 "Are 你 doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all 日 but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
continue reading...
A
Abbess
Ablaze
Ace
Acid
Adamant
Aegis
Airspeed
Alaczar (Spanish: Fortress)
AlleyCat
Animus
Anti-Matter Man
Aqualung (guy with frog powers)
Arc
ArchAngel
Argus
犰狳
Arsenal
Asmodeus
Astra
Atomaestro
Avion
Axe (a brick with an axe)

B
BackFlash

Ballistique
Banelord
Baron K
梭鱼, 梭子鱼
Basalt
Battery
Bile
Billy Blue Blazes (a speedster)
Bird of Prey
Black Adept
Blackbody
Black 鹘, 猎鹰 (Brick/Martial Artist)
Black Light
Blackmane
BlackShadow
Blackthorne
Black 狼
Blade Song
Blast Off
Bloodletter
Bloodstone (a magic-based mentalist with a crystal...
continue reading...
posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at 你 trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can 吻乐队(Kiss) a guy* a bird can 吻乐队(Kiss) a butterfly* the rising sun can 吻乐队(Kiss) the grass* but 你 my friend!! yes you!! 你 CAN 吻乐队(Kiss) MY ASS*******

If 你 didn't have feet 你 wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do 你 wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for 你 %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
continue reading...
posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If 你 have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your 老友记 come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary 老友记 that 你 ask their opinion of everything.

7. After 你 have your bath, 包, 换行 a bath towel around 你 and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
continue reading...
1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers 你 know.
12.Strangers 你 don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to 删除 above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
continue reading...
50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time 你 turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him 或者 her that you’ve 迷失 your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he 或者 she has anything...
continue reading...
1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the 烤箱 on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add...
continue reading...
posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my 列表 of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let 你 know now i got alot of these from the youtobe channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything 或者 eating anything 你 might spit it 或者 something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the 扫帚 late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the 湾 they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite...
continue reading...
posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome 老友记 and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time 你 read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though 你 may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't 爱情 you, my love.

I loved 你 with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
continue reading...
posted by My8thUsername
A/N: I 爱情 copy-and-pastes. Here's a enormungantic 列表 I did. 'Cause I felt like it. Oh, and they're not in any order. I just wanted to know how many I have. 由 the way, just because I copied them here doesn't necessarily mean they apply to me. I just thought they were cute/funny/awesome. After all, this isn't my profile...

1.98 percent of teenagers do 或者 has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. A/N: Never ever. And proud.

2.Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when 你 don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as...
continue reading...