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posted by Kanji
你 turned to see a figure holding your 老友记 lifeless body. 你 screamed and the figure saw 你 and dissappered in the shadowy trees."Hey" 你 screamed run to were the figure once was.you stopped and leaned over your 老友记 lifeless body 你 started to cry and everything got blurry.you jumped as someone touched your shoulder.you spun around to see a guy a little older then 你 with red eyes.you backed up and bumped into something else 你 turned around to see your friend with the same red hungry eyes,smiling evilly."what the" 你 murmured to your self backing up,the guy took 你 由 your wast as 你 backed up into him and stopped 你 from moving."you know it's a waste that i want to keep 你 human" he spoke slowly but clearly "sadly 你 should be happy im not going to turn you...yet" he chucked and lay his head on your shoulder.you couldn't speak too afraid of what was happening then 你 felt a pain in your neck and screamed then soon blacked out.You woke up and looked around you.The place looked like a abandon hotel,the windows were boarded up but 你 could see sun light getting through.You went over to the door and walked into the hallway the lights in the hall were flickering.You turned and walked around the corner 你 looked up and saw your friend.Her eyes were back to normal, but blood was on her face and 你 backed way from her."Your awake!"she announced happily and walked toward you.You backed into the 墙 and then she stopped 15 feet away from 你 "oh no, im hungry again" she 说 sadly looking at the ground.When she looked up again her eyes were red,she ran towards 你 and pinned 你 to the 墙 "Can I eat you?"she asked grimly she got closer to 你 and 你 screamed shuting your eyes.When 你 looked again the man from before was holding her away from you."_Are 你 ok?" he asked.You stared a him "how do 你 know my name?" 你 asked "I told him" your friend 说 with her eyes back to normal.He laughed "im Felix" he said.
I decided to create a 列表 of twenty of my personal favourite hard rock songs.

No AC/DC, people. I'm sorry.

1. "Highway Star", 由 Deep Purple
2. "Fear Of The Dark", 由 Iron Maiden
3. "Money For Nothing", 由 Dire Straits
4. "Sharp Dressed Man", 由 ZZ Top
5. "Come On Feel The Noise", 由 Quiet Riot
6. "Love In An Elevator", 由 Aerosmith
7. "Still Of The Night", 由 Whitesnake
8. "Nobody's Wife", 由 Anouk
9. "Stairway To Heaven", 由 Led Zeppelin
10. "Smokin'", 由 Boston
11. "Cherry Bomb", 由 The Runaways
12. "Mother, 由 Danzig
13. "Voodoo", 由 Black Sabbath
14. "Hot Blooded", 由 Foreigner
15. "Barracuda", 由 Heart
16. "Turn Up The Radio", 由 Autograph
17. "I 爱情 你 Period", 由 Dan Baird
18. "Rock & Roll 69", 由 Betty Blowtorch
19. "I Can't Drive 55", 由 Sammy Hagar
20. "Carry On Wayward Son", 由 Kansas
These are our rules! Please note ... these are
all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, 你 need it down. 你 don't hear us
complaining about 你 leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what 你 want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable 答案 to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you...
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The city of San Francisco is asking Kulbir Dhaliwal, who was attacked 由 a tiger at the San Francisco Zoo on 圣诞节 日 2007, to reimburse them over $75,000 for the city-funded medical care he received after the mauling.
Cold viruses can survive on objects like telephones and railings for up to three hours.
More suicides occur in the Grand Canyon than in any other national park.
There are 更多 bacteria in the ice machines at fast 食物 restaurants than in toilet bowl water.
Alcohol-related traffic fatalities are 更多 than twice as common on New Year's Eve as other midweek winter evenings.
Two...
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posted by Feathershine
1. When their watching TV get in their way and say "I'm in your way!! Im in your way!!"
2. Say "beep, beep beep..." until they snap
3. Call them on their cell phone when their out on a 日期 或者 something, and in a weird voice say "Hello?! Can I send u a box of waffles" (LOL I don't know)
4. When their sleeping take a bottle of water and wake them up 由 dumping it on them and saying "Sorry! I came to bring it for u to drink, I didn't realize it slipped"
5. If 你 have a dog 或者 cat (that DON'T sleep with your parents) dump him/her when there asleep
6. When 你 spill any liquid blame it on the gods
7....
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1.find something old and breakable and go up to a apartment 或者 building 或者 highest floor in your house and open a window and estimate how long it will take that thing to hit the groung then throw it out the the window and cout how many seconds/minutes it takes to hit the ground really.
2.go to wal-mart,enough said
3.go outside and try to sell a old stuffed animal on a leash to people who look important to society,like hobos
4.go to your neighbors and tell them they need to stop the rucus and to shut up your trying to sleep even if its the middle of the 日 and they arent making any noise
5.go to...
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!


If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.


I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.


Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!


Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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posted by ciaraluvsjustin
1.Bring a pillow.Fall asleep[or pretend to]until the last 15 minutes.Wake up,say"Oh Geez,better get cracking"and do some gibberish work.Turn it in a few 分钟 early
2.Get a copy of the exam,run out screaming "Andre Andre I've got the secret documents!!"
3.If it is a math/science exam,answer in essay form.If it is a long answer/essay form answer in numbers 或者 symbols.Be creative.
4.Make paper airplanes out of the exam.Throw them at the instructors left nostril.
5.Talk the entire way through the exam.Read 问题 out loud,debate your 答案 with yourself out loud.If asked to stop, yell out"I'M...
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"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and 由 brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in 床, 床上 and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...
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posted by jblovesme4ever
[]miley cyrus the girl who many of whom look up to but why[
resons to hate her(feel free to add 更多 on comments)

1)[]her music]: she doesnt write it on her own and her newest song untamed wow the part where she says I GO THOUGHT BOYS LIKE MONEY:and the only good song she has is the climb: and that is not saying much!!!:patry in the usa wow that is the s&^%$#@ 音乐 vidio i have seen it a while

2)money: the only reson she is here is bcus she wants money: she has to get payed to do chairty events:and she is always just talking about it to

3)she doesnt care about her fans: she may say she doese...
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posted by deathchick9
Over the many years of pikachu,if 你 look closely 皮卡丘 has been getting thinner and thinner.When it started he was this cute,fat little chunk of Pokemon,but now he's a skinny little freak.Which can only me one thing....Ash has forced him to become bulimic!
*Dramatizations*
____________________________________
Ash:Jeez,Pikachu your so fat!

Pikachu:Pika?

________________________

Ash:Loose some weight 你 fat bastard!

Pikachu:Pika?!
_________________________________________

Ash:No stop eating!Your just gonna get fatter!

*Ash shoves his finger down pikachu's throat to make him vomit his 食物 up.Pikachu...
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posted by melcu
1. Sing the 蝙蝠侠 theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with 老友记 in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If 你 have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours 由 hooking a 摄录一体机, 摄像机 to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal 由 conspicuously licking...
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posted by ihavOTD
 I am Anti- Miley because of this:
I am Anti- Miley because of this:
OH MY GOSH! I was just watching stupid HM and near the end, Miley and Lily started talking about-guess who? ROBERT PATTINSON. That's sick. here is their convo:(at least what though I heard)

" It's just sad that 你 can't find a bf..." Lily says.
" Yeah... Hey, I guess Hannah can 日期 Robert Pattinson!" Miley says
" Oh....Robert Pattinson is SO dreamy...."
Thats sickening Disney. I feel bad for Rob. He can't hide ANYWHERE...
Really, do 你 realize how crazy and gross a lot of 粉丝 are???? Here is a gross 文章 about some crazed fans:

Robert Pattinson Approached 由 “Gross”, “Bleeding”...
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added by SheWolf11
Source: I DO NOT OWN THIS IMAGE
Similar to "30 Things To Do During An Exam." 搜索 for it in this club, it's way funnier. Apologies if this 列表 is a little outdated.

50 Ways to Mess With People in a Computer Lab

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 分钟 & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that 你 can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat...
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added by totoyo25
added by tdacrazy6
Source: Tumblr
Example:

There's someone knockin' on my door

There in the shadows, looks like a hand

Come to the rescue now

Once there was a man who decided he knew everything

Life's been so good to me

I went to see what I could find

你 never lived in the streets though 你 wish 你 had

I'm so sorry, please forgive me

Living in the sixth dimension

Over time I've come to feel

------------------------------------------------------------------

If 你 need help 或者 another example for a better understanding, let me know.
added by CokeTheUmbreon
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Langley, West Virginia.

Commander Kane: *Walks up to Ted* How are the new watches coming out?
Ted: I think you'll be pleased with the work me, and Mabel did. 由 the way, how's Johnny doing?
Commander Kane: We found a replacement who's willing to use his name to protect his identity.

Sundsvall Sweden. Johnny Lightning was driving south on the Sundsvallbron. A bridge that was part of the E4 highway. His car was a shiny silver Alfa Romeo.

Johnny: *Smiling as he looks at himself in the rear view mirror. He then sees a red Nissan close to him*

The red car overtook him, and a black man pointed a MP7 at...
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